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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about" friends "babies diet.

126 replies

LittleMrsHappy · 15/04/2010 11:58

My cousin has a friend who regular stays at her house who has a dd aged roughly between 9-10 months.

I went to cousins house last week at 7am as we are having our garden landscaped, her friends was their and for breakfast gave her dd some white toast with butter, and a bottle of ribena.

Aout half a hour later she gave her about 5 organix finger food biscuit's, followed by her bottle of milk and then a packet of onion rings

Nothing substantial or remotely nutritious, friend says her diet is always like this, but shes not bothered as her dd is skinny and healthy (true tbh)

Now its not as if she is thick or uneducated she is a professional and very intelligent, its just that shes lazy or cba to correctly feed her dd.

Am I being UR to say something to her, she is their tomorrow and I need to go round, but I dont think I can sit and not say something.

Im not usually a judgemental person like this, but this has rather somewhat peed me off, as it just lazy parenting.

OP posts:
VinegarTitsOnaDiet · 15/04/2010 14:42

Perhaps this woman is well aware of yours, and your cousins disapproval therefore feeds her child these things just to get up your noses

She probably goes home and feeds her fresh fruit and veg while chuckling to herself about your cats bum faces at the onion rings

SpicedGerkin · 15/04/2010 14:43

If you haven't decided anything actually, why did you say 'I also am giving her '?

That to me says decided..

SpicedGerkin · 15/04/2010 14:44

'we go on about repeatedly here the cost of obesity to the NHS and how it is self harm'

I thought you said the child was a healthy weight?

thesecondcoming · 15/04/2010 14:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paisleyleaf · 15/04/2010 14:45

See you could say something like "ooo did you see that panorama program the other night about children's health/food etc"? and get in a conversation about diets.
But you say it's not that is ignorant of the food not being healthy, as she avoids the doctor to avoid being judged.
So it's not that she doesn't know already.

WhoIsAsking · 15/04/2010 14:47

Do love a good AIBU strop

gingernutlover · 15/04/2010 14:49

do you actually know the child doesnt get fruit and veg?

What you mentioned didnt sound that awful tbh, ribena a bit sugary for a child under 1 year and the crsips are salty but at least she is fed.

Have to say though, dd at 9-10 months was a right chubby little madam, at one point we thought her wrists would envelope her hands - she's now a normal size and healthy. Children are all different sizes at different times but I would be concerned that she sees it as a good thing for her baby to be "skinny and healthy"

gingernutlover · 15/04/2010 14:51

ooooh and the finger foods book you mentioned is excellent - still use mine now that dd is 4

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 15/04/2010 14:55

Her diet sounds a bit crap
but it's absolutely none of your business
judge if you must but keep quiet

do people really criticise other people's parenting skills to their face?
and as for mentioning it to the health visitor

a real issue of abuse or neglect shouldn't be ignored
giving a child crap food and ribena is neither of the above

and my judgey pants get frequent wear

VinegarTitsOnaDiet · 15/04/2010 14:55

no i dont thesecondcoming

but if i did, and some busybody shoved a healthy eating leaflet at me, they would be having it for their breakfast

thesecondcoming · 15/04/2010 14:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpicedGerkin · 15/04/2010 14:58

'but I would be concerned that she sees it as a good thing for her baby to be "skinny and healthy"'

Op never said that, talk about adding arms and legs, there is a world of difference between what you said and the op saying she's not concerned about her dds diet as she is skinny and healthy as opposed to fat and unhealthy.

VinegarTitsOnaDiet · 15/04/2010 15:01

MY ds2 had easter eggs for breakfast 5 days on the run last week

He gets plenty of nutrious food at other times, but to an outsider it probably looked like i was constanlty feeding him junk

Original poster
LittleMrsHappy · 15/04/2010 15:04

IF I GO ahead and give her the reading material, I will give her, pretty self explanatory, considering the rest of my posts!

S,Gherkins, I dont believe that my post implied that I said the little girl was not a healthy weight my the comment you quoted from me, do you think a baby living of a diet of processed and takeaway food is going to be a marvel "example" of a healthy diet by the NHS, more than likely she will follow in the obesity route.

Cousin has said she refuses to give any veg or fruit even at hers, she stays with my cousin for the weekdays and her mum comes and stays with her at the weekends as she does not like living alone, the father is non-existent.

Cousin loves her friend, she is really nice tbh, but this is a bug bear of friend as she is at her wits end and is finding it difficult as her own child (5) wants to know why he cant have crisps, juice, biscuits all day.

Whos in a strop, Im not it was a valid question, and one that we have been talking about recently in the contamination of heroin thread!

we all want to have a moan and a whinge at the state of the nhs with spiraling out of control costs, but when we can actually at the very ;east try and help people, we say NO, as its not fair on the mother as she is the parent! BUT who fights for the little voices, when the people who is supposed to does not, clearly not some of you with this laxative attitude!

OP posts:
MoreCrackThanHarlem · 15/04/2010 15:04

Erm, bit nosey but intrigued

why does she stay with your cousin 4 nights a week?

Original poster
LittleMrsHappy · 15/04/2010 15:06

'"but I would be concerned that she sees it as a good thing for her baby to be "skinny and healthy"

I am concerned about this too,, she is skinny, but skinny does not = healthy in some cases.

OP posts:
FioFio · 15/04/2010 15:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 15/04/2010 15:07

Ok just read your last post

the child stays with your cousin all week and is joined by the mother at weekends?
what a bizarre set up

SpicedGerkin · 15/04/2010 15:08

LOL

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 15/04/2010 15:09

Rofl at laxative attitude
HA!

VinegarTitsOnaDiet · 15/04/2010 15:09

Sounds like she is having a tough time tbh, if the father is non existant and she doesnt like to stay on her own, maybe she is not coping well, and her laziness as you call it, may be down to depression/anxiety

Give her a break and stop looking down your nose at her parenting

Original poster
LittleMrsHappy · 15/04/2010 15:10

LOL, at morecrackthanharlem, its why I asked here, my cousin asked, I am in two minds!

Vinager you seem to think I will be giving her the leaflets, I will not be giving her them at all!, but you seem a shining example of a parent, I will make sure she wear them for breakfast attitude

OP posts:
MoreCrackThanHarlem · 15/04/2010 15:13

Eh?

why does the baby stay with your cousin all week?
and I don't understand what laxatives have got to do with it?

VinegarTitsOnaDiet · 15/04/2010 15:13

Well LMH you did imply that you would be gving her the leaflets

Shining example? i never claimed to be, but if you say so.

SpicedGerkin · 15/04/2010 15:14

To be faair, you did saywhen i give her, whioch to most people means you are going to give them, now if you had said, if i give her....

It does sound as if she's having a tough time, of course slating her parenting skills will help with that.

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