to think that if you wouldn't insult someone in RL, you shouldn't on MN?

[chiccadee]

I've only been on MN a few weeks but I've been really surprised at the language and 'verbal' abuse on some of the threads. Tonight, I read an AIBU, for example, where a post was just a one line insult - no explanation or other comment given. I know AIBU is supposed to be the place where people ask for and get honest answers but some of these insults seem pretty unpleasant, especially where the OP makes it clear they are just seeking an opinion on whether their POV is reasonable.

My current thinking is that I only say here on MN what I would feel comfortable saying to another person face to face. AIBU?

i would say anything in rl so will say anything on here

tbh aibu is known for rudeness straight talking! expect the unexpected in there, and go in at your own risk!

YABU

is often quite funny to read - not the really really horrible ones of course

Susie is talking truth as well

Me however, I hate confrontation in any form so try to avoid it both in RL and on MN. (Not that you'd know that if you met me in RL. If the confrontation involves sticking up for my nearest and dearest then all guns blazing, but if just me then I am a meek mouse).

But I can see how people would be more 'loose tongue' here as to an extent they are anonymous and can just name change to escape the flak.

As for AIBU. Expect a row!

chiccadee - I agree with you. I was taken aback by rude replies when I first started posting (long before the AIBU topic). Sometimes I'm a bit terse but that's because I'm distracted with the kids and haven't got time for longer replies.

hi Nemain

good point though, its the annonymity that makes people feel they can say what they like...

I was just thinking something similar today OP. I have noticed a lot of name-calling from a malicious angle on some threads out with AIBU and just don't see why people have to do it.

See, straight talking, I get, Susie. And, yes, down the line comments can be funny, Mitchy, take your point there.

But - at risk of identifying a particular thread here (there are several I can think of so just picking one example) - calling someone a nob without any explanation or comment just seems downright nasty to me.

or a bitch

or a cow

I do agree on that. To just add "yabu" or "fuck off" or "knob" etc to a thread with nothing else is just rude.

Give a reason why the poster is an alleged knob!

Weeeeell, I have to say that I disagree. It is one of the attractions of the internet that you can be a bit braver. This site is a million times more polite than others (I'm thinking mainstrem ones like IMDB or Youtube), but it's surely just part of the territory to expect the kind of thought processes that sitting in front of you affords? That is part of the appeal, otherwise we could trust our acquaintances to tell us what they really think if we ask what the baby name Dirk makes them think?

I say 'Dirk', but it could be anything. You know what I mean.

no, bof, you really meant dirk didn't you! lmao

And there was me about to change DSs name to Dirk via Deed Poll....

Ha ha ha. I probably do in RL too... just not to the person's face. I'll probably have a good ol' bitch to DH - let the steam off and then conduct myself in a seemly manner with the person who's irritated me.

I do think most rude posts are picked up and challenged on the thread and of course personal attacks are not allowed.

AIBU is a bear-pit. But I quite like that.

YABU.

The thing is with MN you will get honesty, and that is, or at least should be helpful unless you are the type to want people to just agree with you.

I post on another forum and am known for being erm honest, which does not make me popular and in fact I'm not liked at all but I am the only one at times that will give constructive criticism and advice, instead of saying 'ooh, your (sic) right and hun chicky wicky petal those mummys and daddys are meanies and your lo's are right all the time', and/or similar.

I would rather it straight with a side of support, if you want agreeing with, then you are in the wrong place.

I knew it would be that thread and that post when I opened this! Mostly yabu but I was amazed at the responses on that thread and I've been here long enough to be used to it. That poster was unnecessarily gittish and I'm hoping it was a pretender to someone's posting style rather than that person in another disguise IYSWIM as I'd be disappointed if it was her.

Which thread was it? [misses all the good stuff emoticon]

I think it's the AIBU thread about serving drinks at a childs party?? OP was called a knob, nothing exciting.

I say exactly on MN what I would in RL.

'Twas a bit middle of the night surreal-y

People who call other people names and don't make an attempt to engage in a debate beyond this just make themselves look ignorant and lazy. I do like the bluntness here though. It can make you think about whether you are bu before you go ahead and piss of all your friends/family, which is helpful! You can't rely on people in rl to be utterly honest with you

Thank you. I read that thread. Didn't spot the knob comment. Must have been very tired