to think that if you wouldn't insult someone in RL, you shouldn't on MN?

[chiccadee]

I've only been on MN a few weeks but I've been really surprised at the language and 'verbal' abuse on some of the threads. Tonight, I read an AIBU, for example, where a post was just a one line insult - no explanation or other comment given. I know AIBU is supposed to be the place where people ask for and get honest answers but some of these insults seem pretty unpleasant, especially where the OP makes it clear they are just seeking an opinion on whether their POV is reasonable.

My current thinking is that I only say here on MN what I would feel comfortable saying to another person face to face. AIBU?

i love the research from shitsville uni to support any spurious point inc links and everything.

love when it goes into name calling meltdown and faces

love the MN clichés esp why have children if you dont want to look after them bless dem precious moments mamas

love that some people really personalise mn,getting all het up.why?

Lol! Sounds like I need to get my boxing gloves on if I'm to stand a chance in the MN ring. Think I'll leave the swear jar at home tho - and no, I don't give a stuff if that makes me uptight.

Zapostrophe - that's a fair point re baby names. I'd probably do the same. I guess that makes me a big fat hypocrite.

baby names.yes in rl id never object.on babythread id call it as is

Why does it matter who Passay is?

who is passée?

I do hate it when mnhq delete the offensive shouty sweary posts, sometimes. Fair enough if the recipient of the insult reports it, but if the recipient of the insult doesn't report it but someone else who is engaged in the thread, or who just happens to be lurking, reports it and the offensive post is deleted - then the insulting poster has got away scot free! The insults and twattishness have been swept away and not allowed to stand for the record.

scottish mummy, hesy teh one woh tpys lke thsei.

mumble, we know.

but why does it matter???

Oh god there are loads of times I'd just like to post a succinct 'fuck off' but I wouldn't on here, just like I wouldn't in real life. I just sit and fume instead. It's not even the posts during arguments - it's the random, pedestrian threads where people just feel the need to stick their oar in in the bluntest, most insulting way they can, just because 'it's their opinion, and they have every right to it'.

Twats.

my initial response to this thread was:

'Oh DO fuck off, there's a love' but I think I may have been here a bit too long

Tis AIBU.

You're likely to get 'nob'bed.
Deal with it.

YABU

Speaking as a 'nob'ee, being 'nob'ed didn't bother me at all, its only a forum afterall. It might have bothered me if someone came up in RL and said that. It was just a shame they couldn't come up with anything more succinct to say, or at least a creative insult!

I was curious as to their reasoning behind the 'nob'bing!

Gotta be prepared for anything when posting on a forum where people have the guts to say what they mean, esp if you've migrated here from a tamer forum.

BTW, who on earth is passay anyway? Curious now!

Thinking fish, but the fish are not inspiring me....

Feel free to call me a thick knob and tell me to fuck off!

Oh fgs, its Cod. for some reason she can say exactly what she likes to people and everyone adores her for it. And then if you complain about it, the might of Mumsnet will come down on you from a great height.

Gotcha! Thank you! Brain a little slow to engage this morning.....

I was about to say what you just said Geraldine
But you got there first

Tis annoying

Well I think that some posters are rude, cruel and unpleasant - much like real life.

But it is really sad is when a newbie OP is flamed without mercy (and it is the same few people who always seem to get involved here) The OP then leaves Mumsnet without ever getting the help and support that might have made a big difference to them.

I am still in touch with a youngster who asked for help here in an area where I had some first hand experience. She was savaged by a couple of regulars who still should feel ashamed of themselves!

100% agreed dejavu, I think it is a shame when newbies are flamed, if you don't know the site well and stumble onto it it must come as a shock to get flamed when, actually you have a genuine (albeit maybe not very serious in others eyes) concern.

I think it is important for responders to at least try and judge the tone of a post before responding.

are you being tongue in cheek, reality?

I think it depends on the post, and on what the flaming is like. If its just someone who joins with a number in their name, uses the work hun or text speak and puts kisses at the end because they don't know people here dissapprove of that, then the flaming they get just comes accross as smug and bitchy. But on the other hand I do like the fact that MN has a lot of very funny and witty posters, and that people will tell you straight what they think about things. I suppose if everyone was very nice to each other all the time, that side of mn might be lost...

Funny and witty is fine. What I am thinking about was horrible abuse directed towards a vulnerable young person.