To want to work but cant because of crippling childcare cant I have a life?

[mummycanthavealife]

Really want to work but kids under 5. my dp works long hours so never sure when he will be home, I was offered a job but had to turn it down because my hourly rate would of paid for my two children to be looked after so turned it down.
I really want to work give my kids a better quality of life but what is the point should I wait till my children are at school advice greatly appreciated,dont think im entitled to any help either,thanks mn.

We shopped around for the best deal on a mortgage which we could afford because the cost can vary widely. With childcare you don't have that choice (around here anyway) as the prices are pretty much standard. I wouldn't take on a mortgage which would leave me breaking even every month. I would look for something affordable, but unfortunately child care is just so expensive, it isn't actually affordable to many people.

I also didn't say I wanted childcare provided to me free. (Even though my parents have said if they could afford to give up work to look after their grandchildren they would jump at the chance) All I was getting at was that childcare is very expensive, and a lot of the time makes a person only just break even when they work a lower scale paid job. All I would hope for was cheaper childcare.

Choc - how could childcare be any cheaper? It's about £3-£4 per hour (childminder/nursery).

If you can't make it cheaper, then presumably you think it should be paid for by the tax payer - why?

What do you see as the solution?

x post again! LOL

How would it work out if you paid one of your parents to look after the children? Would they be much out of pocket?

I really can understand that you want to give your children 'a better life' and would like to find a way to do that. I am interested in how you think that could happen.

Also, my Mum stayed at home when I was small, but went to work when I started school so I had 'wrap around childcare' 'to give us a better life' and I hated it. I would rather have stayed in our smaller house, had less holidays etc and been able to come home to my own house after school so maybe I also have a bit of an axe to grind...

OK. :-) (forgot about the o|d techno|ogy )

I've worked out:

1. Both work 16 hours a week, combined sa|ary same as mine now. Near|y £300 a month better off than now. Assumed no chi|dcare costs, but assuming 2 days a week (on our current costs) these wou|d be no more than £70 a month, so possib|y "on|y" £200 a month better off

2. Used current scenario, ie me working fu|| time, DH at home with DS. Status quo = pretty crap.

3. Me working fu|| time, DH working 16 hours for previous crap sa|ary. Around £300 a month better off taking into account 2 days a week chi|dcare. BUT need to take into account |ogistica| nightmare of transport which wou|d probab|y cost at |east £30 extra a week. P|us having to get peop|e in to do the work DH is current|y doing on the house whi|e DS is at nursery - or pay for yet more nursery. So better off, but not huge|y so for the extra hass|e I'd say.

4. Me working fu|| time, DH working 15 hours a week for above money. Same chi|dcare costs as above. £80 a month better off than now, but taking into account same prob|ems with transport, house etc. considerab|y worse off.

BTW it turns out I was right. Under scenario 3) using actua| figures for what we pay for 2 days chi|dcare, no he|p is avai|ab|e. But that's actua||y fair enough |ooking at the figures - for 16 hours a week. For 15 it is crap!!

We have managed to stumb|e upon the option that |oses us £300 a month!! Actua||y it's c|oser to £500 a month because we do actua||y have DS in chi|dcare 2 days a week whi|e DH makes our house habitab|e.

I fee| |ike a comp|ete mug being a fu|| time WOHM now. But I can't do my job part time - it is just not possib|e. And DH wou|d not find part time work around here that paid a decent wage. What on earth can we do?!

Good post Gaelic.

(Are you going to do a namechange to Noelle )

Oh, and we wou|d joint|y pay around ha|f my current tax and NI bi|| under option (1). We'd cost much more and contribute much |ess. That's the answer fo|ks.

GS - the way I look at it, option 1 makes you the 'best off' yeah? (In which case, if this is actually right, then the system needs a major revamp!!).

Why can't you do your job (or a similar job) part time?

Why can't DH find a part time job paying the same as you?

Could either of you change careers?

Could you move?

Could you job share (with each other or with other people?)

It is bloody ridiculous that you are in a situation where you are financially better off for 2 parents to work part time, than one parent full time - for the same overall income - it's madness!!

I'm sorry the thread has ended up making you feel like a mug and here was me hoping that something good might come out of it. Like you'd find something you should have been claiming for but aren't or something.... (PS: I', still looking for my magic wand!!).

Anyway, try not to feel like a mug, it the govt's doing, not yours - and we'll try to find a better option for you!!

A bit of a longshot but could you contract to your current employer - through a partnership and 'give' your DH half of your income to get around this?

We|| one good thing is that I do |ove my job - p|us it provides f|exibi|ity and reasonab|e security. But in order for me to get this job we moved we|| away from the area where DH's o|d career used to be. His industry does not exist here at a|| so as far as this area is concerned he is an unski||ed worker = crappo|a wages. £12 a hour (which I think is what I earn rough|y gross) is a|most unheard of up here for run of the mi|| work. He can't even find jobs that pay ha|f of that, frank|y. P|us his hea|th isn't great at the moment which rea||y restricts what he can do physica||y (he used to do gardening work but it just knackered his body - not worth it).

DH is knocking on a bit as we|| so a career change isn't rea||y an option - been there, tried that unfortunate|y - emp|oyers don't want to know. We reckon the best bet is for him to set something up from home when DS goes to schoo| - at |east that was the p|an before I got pg with no 2!! I daren't do the sums for that scenario!

I am sti|| waiting on a fina| re-grading decision from work, which if positive (fingers crossed) shou|d increase our month|y income to around what it wou|d be under option 3) current|y. That's a|| we rea||y need to |ive on so I think we'd take me being happy in my work over comp|ete|y upsetting the app|e cart and risking everything.

I think we'|| probab|y reserve judgment for now. Changing things wou|d require a huge rethink - and who's to say things wi|| stay as crazy as this. It fee|s much more stab|e and safe (and mora||y acceptab|e) somehow as things stand than any of the other options (certain|y than option 1)). But I am tru|y appa||ed by the outcome of my research!

By "used to to do gardening work" I mean that's what he found up here. Down south he was doing techno|ogy stuff. Very good money but very very insecure - short term contracts, working away, etc. Wasn't good.

Current emp|oyer is pub|ic sector - not too f|exib|e on the contracting front.

Thank god you love your job!! and that it has a lot of good points!!

Pg with #2 - yes, best you don't think about that 'little' issue today , but I guess you'll have to sometime soon. Will you be OK on MP?

Fingers crossed for your re-grading!!

There's no doubt about it - the outcome of your research is very , & with a bit of & thrown in for good measure!!

Yeah, I had understood what you meant about the gardening being 'up here' and assumed it was something like 'technology' he'd been doing before....

Life ain't easy is it!!

I hope his health improves (or is it just a touch of 'no longer in the flush of youth')??.

Having another one will keep him on his toes, especially if you still have house stuff to do!! Have you both come around to the idea of #2 yet or are you still ?

OK on MP - erm, no not rea||y. But if they honour their promises on re-grading we won't starve. P|us there wou|d a big |ump of back pay due at some point (but unfortunate|y I owe a|| that to mum & dad who've |ent us money to get the house habitab|e before DC2 arrives).

I |ove my job (I won't if they |et me down over the grading issue though). DH, however, doesn't rea||y |ove being a SAHD (a|though he's very good at it, and better than I wou|d be) so this rea||y does give food for thought.

I bet nobody rea|ises this is how the "system" works.

There's on|y 11 weeks to go, so if we haven't both come around to it we better had soon! I think I'm sti|| in denia| tbh!

Hea|th issues are here to stay unfortunate|y.

Just rea1ised that 1 works better as an "e1"!!

(Sorry, just nipped in the shower!)

Only 11 weeks to go (Uh-Oh emoticon!!) - enjoy being in denial while it lasts!!

Sorry to hear about MrSheep's health issues

You have a lot on your plate.

Do you think your pregnancy will affect your re-grading? (Yeah, I know it 'shouldn't' but in the real world...?).

It's difficult isn't it, with so much to have to consider.

What is DH able to do? What would he like to do?

Would you like to SAH if you could or would you rather go to work while DH stays home?

Shouldn't you be sleeping???? (I'm not in the UK at the moment so it's not late here!!)

God - sounds like an interrogation!

I noticed that too Gaelicsheep, about the different scenarios with hours and working tax credits. The tax credit system does seem crazy. We would be better off both working part time, its just the transition isn't it? And the slim chance of us both finding a part time job here because of the state the employment market is in.

I understand that when you look at it hourly childcare doesn't seem that expensive, but sometimes you have to pay for hours when you're not working too. I don't have a car so would have to pay for childcare for at least an hour before the start of my working day and an hour after to make sure I get there in time.

Yes, there's nothing we can do about the cost, but what's wrong with a rant or a whinge?

I would have to find a very well paid job to be able to give my Mum anywhere near the kind of money she would need to afford to give up her full time job. I wish I could. Believe me, if there was a way to get around it, then I would much rather leave my children in the care of their father or Grandparents while I worked rather than put them in childcare. If I could, I would much rather sit at home with them and look after them myself! But unfortunately, every year, the bills are getting higher and the income isn't so I need to get back to work (and actually make money lol )

Another thing with tax credits, I'm very grateful to receive them. But I so wish we didn't need them like we do. My husband received an approx £100 a month payrise recently and from this month, our tax credits drop by £100 a month so we're no better off lol

Why does me thinking childcare should be cheaper = me thinking the tax payer should pay for it?

I don't see a solution as it is, other to wait until my youngest starts school or whether it would be more affordable when he starts nursery next year.

Or to hope and pray my H's employers have a change of rota in our favour and he suddenly gets the same days off every week and I can work around him, or my parents come into some money and can give up work ... or someone around here offers me childcare which can vary week to week, because although I would have to pay for childcare for (let's say for example mon - fri), some weeks my H or parents are off on a combination of those days so I would be paying for childcare whilst I have a perfectly good free childcare provider at home. Unfortunately both my H an d parents have jobs which means they work any time between Mon - Sun, any time between 7:00am and 10:00pm for my parents and my H works days and nights.

mummycant have

You have my sympathies- our sit is different (cannot work due to demands of two kids with asd) but the effects on me are the same

I hope you get something sorted

oh mummy don't have time to read every post as toddler now awake but if you haven't thought about it consider study- I did that for years, in the hope it would lead to a job thatb paid enough to pay SN childcare (life has got more complex since but was worth a shot and still I hope one day). Also if your dh is employed you will get childcare if you are studying HE and in eh right income bracket

Gaelicsheep

are you working this all out from entitledto? I don't understand how it makes any difference to council tax benefit who works the hours. IMO they work out your entitlement based on your total household income full stop, so how can it matter whether you work f/t and DH doesn't work, or whether you both work 16hrs?

Please contact your local housing benefit dept to discuss it.

Nurseries round where I live charge up to £100 a day and there are virtually no childminders (though lots of nannies at £100 a day). Most women round here with children under three can't work if they actually want to make any money.

I barely break even on my work after paying for childcare (three DCs, one in school). I pay for one day in nursery and then make up the other work in the evenings and at the weekends. I try to think of it as a sort of investment in my future career ie, avoiding a big gap on my CV plus working a bit stops me going completely insane as a SAHM.

However, with three children under 6 plus I do want to be at home a bit for them (therefore only want part-time work), I consider myself lucky to be able to do any work at all.

I hear you, we are in same sit, but its my DP in this case. Just cant see him earning enough to justify CC for 2 kids.

I DONT think the taxpayer should fund us, all we can do is wait till both are at school/nursery then take it from there.

Its just the way the cookie crumbles

i started back to work last month after 9 months maternity leave.

we are currently paying £70 more a month in childcare than my salary and we are funding it out of savings because we arent entitled to tax credits. My OH is in the forces and is based away from home but if he was here i would take on night work because we are really worried about what will happen when the savings runs out.

i could give up work but then OH would be solely responsible for all the bills and i couldn't do that to him, also, i am fit and able to work so i dont think i should claim benefits when there is nothing (apart from high cost of childcare) stopping me. yes, it's not nice but we are thinking long term, i.e; my pension, n.i contributions if i ever do become unemployed, a mortgage when we go to get one.