To want to work but cant because of crippling childcare cant I have a life?

[mummycanthavealife]

Really want to work but kids under 5. my dp works long hours so never sure when he will be home, I was offered a job but had to turn it down because my hourly rate would of paid for my two children to be looked after so turned it down.
I really want to work give my kids a better quality of life but what is the point should I wait till my children are at school advice greatly appreciated,dont think im entitled to any help either,thanks mn.

I would love to do split shifts with my H but it isn't always practical. He has worked his way up to a quite decent wage for where we live , but it involves working days and nights, and the days vary every week. I can't actually work around his shifts as I haven't found any jobs yet who have been willing to let me work different days every week.

Very good point there FioFio.

For some people, paid empolyment may not be a possibility for a certain period of their life, if childcare costs would cost signficantly more than the overall household income. But there are a hell of a lot more people who put up obstacles, or set so many conditions around what they are prepared or not prepared to do. eg some of my friends thought I was mad when I continued working when my entire income was going on nursery fees - they said no way would they get out of bed for that. Of course, several years down the line, I'm reaping the rewards of that decision, because I'm a lot further on in my career, whereas a lot of people I know who gave up work have struggled to even get back into the workplace.

I also know people with school age children who won't consider any work that doesn't fit into school hours, term time only, thus making themselves pretty unemployable. Some people seem to resent paying anything other than a token sum on childcare and I've never understood this - we pay loads on rent/mortgage etc, surely having your children looked after well is more important than that?!

We are all responsible for getting on and finding a way through it. No one ever said having children was easy. Those of us with older kids have lived through the massive strides forward regarding childcare in this country. There are now many more nurseries available, tax credits for people on low incomes, free nursery hours for children 3 and over, and extended maternity leave of up to a year, which means you need to use nurseries for less time overall. It's vastly improved on when my children went to nursery, and you paid the whole lot right the way through until they left. I'm all in favour of further reforms - all registered, proper childcare should be tax deductible for instance - but let's not forget how far we've come.

I also agree that some of us DO have to sacrifice family time. I work 5 days a week, go figure! Yes we are OK financially but I miss seeing my kids.

Life is tough, having kids means makiing scarifices, end of story

work full time, you miss your kids. stay at home, you get bored and think the career world is passing you by

we want to have it "all" and we cant

Yes, all men and women find their own compromises. Plenty tolerate living with an au pair which isn't that expensive but not ideal precisely because there may be some periods when both are out or you need someone there between 2 - 6am when the children are asleep etc. There are plenty of ways to skin a cat. Just apply some lateral thinking and try to avoid work where for 50 years you will be paid very very little.

@itsmeitsmeolord - women can choose to have children and still want to work. It shouldn't be an 'either-or' situation.

I think women who work shouldn't be punished for it. I know I would be a much better (calmer, less frustrated) mother if I worked plus would love my own money and getting up and dressed in the morning!