To want to work but cant because of crippling childcare cant I have a life?

[mummycanthavealife]

Really want to work but kids under 5. my dp works long hours so never sure when he will be home, I was offered a job but had to turn it down because my hourly rate would of paid for my two children to be looked after so turned it down.
I really want to work give my kids a better quality of life but what is the point should I wait till my children are at school advice greatly appreciated,dont think im entitled to any help either,thanks mn.

Your all missing the ovbious point.

Start a childcare business. Get the qualifications and rent a nice house/church hall.

You get to look after you own DD/DS and get paid at the same time.

Simples.

I haven't returned to work after having the twins in Dec 08. My childcare costs would have been £1800 per month (including breakfast and after school club for DD1) so as much as I would like to stay on the career ladder, not at that cost!

nick=CappuccinoCarrie it impossible to do 90% of that if you don't have any money isn't it.

yes i thought about it before we had children. that's why i left my previous career with its inflexible hours and moved to where i am now.

Hate to say I agree with emsyj. Childcare costs are entirely foreseeable. So short of having an accident or not having the luxury of time due to age/health, it is possible to plan around it. Some people space out their children for this reason - to avoid having to incur 2 lots of childcare costs simultaneously.

Of course we thought about it what parents dont think about the future if you worried about the ifs and whats it would never happen, at least im trying no harm in that emsyj.

I don't understand your last post, mrstonice.

Did not have a choice but to have our kids when we did we are very lucky their still here with us,thats another story so no did not have a chance to plan it im afraid and not every little detail either.

Totally agree with Parakeet.
I work p/t and have virtually no money left once I have paid for both DCs to attend nursery.

However, I enjoy my job, have a good employer, and feel lucky that they are happy for me to work p/t.

I don't think I would easily be able to find another job I liked, which would allow me to work p/t, if I was to take a career break. So I am happy(ish!) to take the hit for a little while. And I just keep thinking about how rich I am going to feel when both DCs are in school!

Sigh, as always, the cries of "but childcare expenses are the man's responsibility too!" True. But it doesn't matter one jot whose money you say it's coming out of, at the end of the month, many familes are worse off if the woman works, and that's wrong!

Why is my sense of entitlement to want to be able to afford to work instead of forced to keep house wrong?

Op, i started an identical thread a few months ago and got exactly the same blinkered arguments amongstthe support.
We just survive on Dh's salary + ctc. I was offered a job that would have left US £30 better off a week, and that's before fuel costs, parking etc.
I did look into it before having children but i work for the civil service + with all the job cuts while i have been on a career break i have no job to go back to unless i commute 50 miles. Which leaves us out of pocket.
All those saying 'your dh should pay too' are missing that for a family on an average wage, all his money goes on trivial things like mortgage, bills, food, insurance. Me working doesn't magically make more of his income disposable if it is all accounted for in the first place.

Emsyj said dont people think about this before they have children and I am unreasonable to complain now?, I have said yes we did think about it and the ifs which has happened but we never had a choice because I had medical problems etc.

Yeap another one who had been there done that too. I worked for several years for no net gain due to childcare costs. There are other benefits to going out to work - keeping your skills up to date, social life, intellectual stimulation etc. And of course in the long term you are much better off for not having been out of the job market.

I think it's a case of counting your blessings (at least these days childcare vouchers exist for 3 yr olds) and getting on with it. It does get a lot better once they start school and you're not paying for every minute you work.

Funnily enough my pay pays the mortgage/bills/childcare etc. Dh's is for living off.
I really don't get why women think their husbands shouldnt contribut some of the cost of their children being looked after whilst they are at work.

You are lucky to have kids, you are lucky to be able to stay at home with them and be with them whilst they're tiny (which incidentally I won't be able to do - DH doesn't earn enough to pay the mortgage and bills and my earning potential is such that I will need to return to work and sadly for me it will be financially viable for me to do so despite childcare costs) and things will change pretty soon - they won't be this young (pre-school age) for ever. Not sure what you're complaining about really...?

In my home country you pay a maximum of approx. £110 a month for childcare (it's income based). Why should it not be subsidised and paid for by tax payers? We pay for wars and goodness know what else.

Those of you who are lucky enough to have jobs that you could go back to that leave you breaking even and are so chuffed with them are pissing me right off.
Have a bit of fucking empathy ffs.

emsyj - I'm sorry that you're at the opposite end of the scale, wanting to stay home but not being able to. That's also a horrible situation. But I would no sooner say to you that you should be grateful you have to go out to work than you should say to me that I should be grateful I was stuck at home. Some women are not cut out to stay at home and hate every minute of it. I'm one of them.

I'm not sure I would have bothered going back to work after the DCs if I didn't already have a job to go back to. I think its very different if you have taken maternity leave from a job that you enjoy and employers that have tried to be flexible with accomodating requests for p/t working.

I have worked for my employer for 10 years, I have a good pension, and good friends/colleagues and a good boss. I feel very lucky, and see the minimal take-home pay as a short-term sacrifice.

When I first started workign I barely broke even. It's taken many years of full time working to get a decent wage to afford childcare. I have 2 kids and cannot afford anymore as childcare for a baby would be too much so I dont have any more.

This is a really difficult decision ( stating bleeding obvious sorry)

Returning to work boosts your long term pension contributions and keeps a CV and skills up, so maybe you and DP need to discuss the short term costs and weigh up long term benefits.

However, bringing up your children your way is priceless and doesn't really have a monetary value. Also a home doesn't run itself unless you can afford a housekeeper!

So don't undervalue your contribution at this stage in your life.As others have already suggested is there something you can do to generate extra income and give you a sense of fulfillment? maybe weekend working or taking on a home based sales business/child care?

but Annie, you are not "forced" to keep house.

you knew when you decided to have children that you wouldn'tbe able to afford to work surely??? did you not think about that?

it was a choice that you made.

rainbow - as I've already said, many families, when joint income and joint childcare are pooled, are worse off when the women works. So if they're already struggling on his one wage, things will be so much worse if they end up with less money at the end of the month with the women in work.

In some cases, they manage to suck it up and look at the long-term benefits. In other cases, they would lose the roof over their heads.

Childcare in the UK is cripplingly high for the average family, and way higher than in most other countries where the government subsidises heavily or runs its own childcare facilities. I fail to see why that shouldn't be the case here too. It would enable many struggling single mums to get back to work too.

What a fucking mad point of view some of you have! You want the government to pay for childcare so that high earning fathers don't have to?

Even if the man earns too much to qualify for any WTC, it can still be worth the woman working. Childcare costs about the same as a day's pay on minimum wage but sometimes it's essential to work at minimum wage to move up in the job market.

I'm very confused at those who see asking men to fund childcare for their children as something bizarre or unacceptable.

Your earlier post said women with high earning partners not men on low incomes themselves.