to be depressed that people need to be told/taught to read to their children

[clemette]

DS had his two year development check today and was delighted to get his bookstart pack. It is brilliant and I applaud the charity, but I did find the glossy booklet that came with it very depressing. Surely everyone knows that you should read to your children??

OP we had the exact same thing happen yesterday- two year check and Bookstart bag.
The Bookstart pack is very good- YANBU to think it is depressing that people need to be told HOW to read to their children, and if I am truthful if they are going to not read to their child for what ever reason they are unlikely to read the booklet on how to read to their child.
I was surprised by the scribble pad and crayons though-that to me is almost even sadder, that there may be parents not providing the children with an opportunity to colour.
I said to the HV "Why put crayons in, surely every home has more than enough"
She said sadly "you'd be surprised"

That's reassuring bruffin, thank you.

It's a fantastic initiative - no doubt about that. Giving less wealthy families more books at the expense of wealthier families doesn't make sense - as others have said, wealth is not necessarily a barrier, plus the idea is just to let parents know this is what they should be doing - not to furnish them with all the books they'll need. 2 books vs 4 books - neither are enough if you're a non-reading household - but at least the seed is planted.

ScreaminEagle - I very much get where you're coming from. I come from a very literary household - my Mum used to read to us every day, we had whole walls in various rooms dedicated to books, she belonged to a Children's Literature group, and used to take us to the library every Friday to exchange our old books and choose new ones.

To this day I adore reading, and often get 'told off' by DH for being so anti-social by reading. Doesn't happen so often now with DS around, but back in the day.

But - I do find it a bit of a struggle to read to DS 1 (14 months at the moment)!! . Yes, there are some wonderful books out there but you can only ready even The Very Hungry Caterpillar, and other age-suitable ones so many times before it becomes a bit of a chore!

I can't wait until he is older to start enjoying some of the books that I really treasure from my childhood - I am sure I'll come into my own more then, although am of course persevering now.

I guess my point is that if someone like me can find it hard work sometimes, then I can very much understand why others might not even bother, which is sad.

Still think the actual initiative is a great idea. We got a Book Start pack at DS's 8 month check - do we get another at 2 years?

I agree with SmallWhiteCat. I think it is all a bit of a fad. There are people all over the world who grow up in extreme poverty and have no access to libraries yet are taught to read at school. A number of children moved into DS's class from Steiner school at age seven. They had not been read to at home because the parents did not agree with introducing young children to text. They all started to read within a few months.

The impact of not being read to is no doubt largely due to a generally poor quality home life in many cases and not the actual benefit of books. With the benefit of hindsight, I actually think making up your own stories with your child is more important than reading them someone else's.

Reading at home with a parent is lovely, just like gardening or kicking leaves in the rain or playing ludo. But it isn't essential.

YANBU. For what it is worth I was absolutely horrified to be told in my antenatal class of the importance of a minimum of 15 mins of face to face time with your baby every day with the TV off - and "it doesn't have to all be in one block, you can do 5 mins at a time" WTF!

Where do you people live? Do you go so far out of your way to stay in a safe little 'nice mummies' bubble that you never see people doing things differently?

I have a really big mix of friends, and I think some of the choices they make are, frankly, bizarre, but it doesn't mean they're damaging their children.

They aren't cakes, and following the Good Mummy Recipe sometimes (and dare I say often?) doesn't work. I read to Ds1 proactively. The way he behaves, you'd think he was raised by terrorists, and he does it all with a delighted grin on his face. Ds2, I didn't read to anywhere near so much, because with Ds1 around, I didn't have time. He, although an active and occasionally defiant little boy, is perfectly normal for four.

I was NEVER read to, my mother hated reading to me because I was an insomniac, so she taught me to read at 3, and I was a free reader by the age of 6. She didn't ever read with me. She baked with me, she walked with me, she sang with me, she coloured with me, she made papier mache with me (and oh how I loved that day) but reading - I sorted that out myself, like wiping my own bum.

In fact, I'm sure she viewed it like potty training - something to be taught and then left private!

I love reading so have always read to and with my DS's.
DH is not so keen, doesn't really like reading himself and if was on his own with the boys would need a gentle nudge to remind him to read with them.
He'd be too busy climbing trees, teaching them to use the laptop, playing football and teaching them names of birds/trees/animals to remember I think.

It's a good thing, don't be so sniffy about it all.

YANBU to be depressed.

I was read to a lot as a child, I loved reading and I devoured books as a child. My younger sister doesn't have the same love of books and my Mum puts it down to the fact that she barely read to her when she was little.
She made a point of reading all the time to our youngest sister, who now loves reading even more than I do..

Anecdotal, I know, but I make a point of reading to DS all the time. Not that I have much of a choice these days - before bed he'll grab his bag of library books and insist that we go through all of them

Oh, that and The Gruffalo 17 times a day

I HATED reading to him when he was younger though - really had to make myself do it, as I just felt so self-conscious. I wasn't very good at reading aloud, and it didn't come easily to me. I've got better though, now I love reading to him

will catch up with thread soon.

it is sad, I can't imagine not having books as a central part of our family life. easy for me though - my mum's a librarian! so obviously I've been brought up around books. DD (2.9) has over 200 books - almost all second hand scavenged by mum!

but then other families don't know about healthy eating or keeping active or [insert other important activity]. different families have different priorities I suppose.

MillyR - interesting point about reading at home not being essential. We're a booky family - am guilty of reading aloud to a 6 week old and I've started helping out at DDs school with paired reading for some kids in the lower reading ability groups. The class teacher is very clear in her belief that NOT reading at home has a huge impact on a childs ability to read full stop - she's actually now going on a secondment to a specialist reading centre so I sort of consider her to be pretty knowledgable in her field. She says that she can identify which children have been read to at home within a few days of them starting in her class. I have always been aware that not everyone reads as much as we do but i was truly shocked at the huge variations in reading ability and confidence between children of the same age and on my experience, I'd be inclined to think that rewading at home IS essential ?

Ah Jareth the gruffalo- tis hungry caterpillars ehre LOL

here they also use it to delvier Welsh langauge texts as there is a big drive towards bilingualism.

ScreaminEagle: "I'm planning on breaking out my treasured collection of Beatrix Potter books that i was bought 25 years ago to try him with (strictly mommy reading only) just for a change. "

Think twice! When DD was very small we were suckered in to joining one of these book clubs where you get the entire collection of Beatrix Potter. Some of the better known ones are still quite nice to read to a LO - Peter Rabbit, Mrs TiggyWinkle, Two Bad Mice. But an awful lot of them are either so far out of date as to be unexplainable, dull as ditchwater or just plain weird!

Having said that we read to DD every night until she was about 11 and said she would rather read to herself in bed thanks very much. Both DH and I loved doing it. She was an avid reader herself from an early age but also loved the bedtime story and when we read to her we often tried to introduce her to something she might not have tried for herself.

Never heard of Bookstart before but it sounds like a splendid idea to me!

Clarissimo - as of yesterday we now have a Gruffalo game involves DS chasing me, pretending that his eyes are orange, his tongue is black and he has purple prickles all over his back... etc etc

sungirltan: "you'd be surprised. even dh comes out with classics such as 'eugh! what do i need to bother with a book for when i can look it up on the internet?'"

Ha! Reminds me of once when DD was in Y5/Y6 and had some homework where she had to find 10 facts about King George V. I happen to have several rather old books about the royal family (don't ask) so I told DD for once she couldn't use the Internet but presented her with this pile of books and told her to look it up.

She thought I was BVU and made very heavy weather of it but she got her facts in the end.

Sassybeast, are you saying that the specialist reading teacher cannot teach children who are not read to at home how to read?

If she can teach them to read, then reading at home is not essential.

Although reading is something that should be encouraged, sadly some parents fail to do so.
My DH and I have read to 5 month DD from
birth as we feel that its important to start this as soon as possible for the development oof language skills. On the other hand, I do
think that its extreme to dismiss tv viewing aall together as some of te pre school programmes are fairly educational

Sorry it's ironic that I made so many typing errors on a thread about reading!

But MillyR, reading at home is about a lot more than just teaching the child to read. My mum and dad completely and utterly failed to teach me to read at home, though they tried. But I was read to a lot, and you could certainly tell which children at school had been read to - they communicated better, they understood things about the structure of narrative better, etc. etc.

There is psychology research that suggests that, yes, learning can be acquired later, and the brain copes - but the delay affects brain structure. I don't know if this would be true for something like reading itself, which is quite an artificial process compared to, say, talking. But by reading, you learn all sorts of linguistic/visual skills and I don't know if those can as readily be gained in any other way.

LittleRedDragon - this makes perfect sense.

Is it any wonder that so many people have atrocious spelling and grammatical understanding these days, and that text speak has become so prevalent?

Yes, people can learn to read at whatever age they are taught, whether it be early or late.

But that's just the tip of the iceberg. Being able to write well, structure sentences, use a wide vocabulary, have a passing understanding of grammar, and using your imagination are just some of the benefits of reading.

I wasn't taught grammar at all at school - everything I know I learnt from either learning another language (ironic, really) or from extensive reading. That is, not reading on the topic of grammar; just reading, full stop.

Which linguistic and visual skills? For almost the entire time people have existed, there has been no such thing as reading so I don't know what these specific skills would be. I think it would interesting to hear more about the research.

I did (and do) read to my children, but I do respect the decisions of people like Steiner parents who choose not to do so.

LittleRedDragon is much more articulate than I am about the reasons why reading at home is essential, but I'm not sure of the logic of saying that a the role of a specialist reading teacher negates the need to read at home ? The fact that the school have to get use parent volunteers to read with children suggests that schools can't meet the needs of every child - I could do paired reading sessions every day if I had the time such is the demand and the need.

I think it is very sad that someone can be so unaware of the lives of other people and expectations that they can shocked by a book start pack!

A significant proportion of the population leave school barely able to read, they are unlikely to read to their children. I learnt as a child that not everyone valued books as I did - and shock horror - did not even have bookshelves in their houses! This should not be news to any adult unless their have been raised in a lovely cosy middle class bubble!

I read to my children but am finding it a struggle currently to get my 5 yo son to sit down to a story for pleasure. He wants to go and Build ever more intricate lego masterieces, who am I to say he has to listen to me Reading a story. He only ever wants to have factual books about dinosaurs read out -which is not much fun for me.

Reading to your children is just one of the ways that you expose them to a high standard of language.

While I think reading to one's young children is vital, I also think it is vital that young children spend their time in the company of adults who are highly skilled at spoken language and use a wide variety of expressions and vocabulary.

This is one of the issues I have with a great deal of institutional childcare