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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be depressed that people need to be told/taught to read to their children

120 replies

clemette · 31/03/2010 19:37

DS had his two year development check today and was delighted to get his bookstart pack. It is brilliant and I applaud the charity, but I did find the glossy booklet that came with it very depressing. Surely everyone knows that you should read to your children??

OP posts:
Original poster
clemette · 31/03/2010 21:41

I might not have made myself totally clear. I think the initiative is great (as I said earlier for those that don't have easy access to books). It was the booklet that bothered me, with its implications that people had books but didn't think that reading them to their children was important

OP posts:
Meglet · 31/03/2010 21:48

Anyone who doesn't like reading to children is welcome to send them over to me . It's the only bit of parenting I love.

It's like Jackanory in this house come bedtime.

All hell breaks loose if I try and play with them, but we've got reading sussed.

mumblecrumble · 31/03/2010 21:57

Bookstart rocks.

I think they should never be means tested - how embarassing!

I'd say we are middly - I love reading and writing, hubby is book, music and film made. We love reading with our dd but somtimes I am tired or not sure what books to read etc.

We are not on the peverty line but fairly skint but have lots of books (mainly charity shops and withdrawn library books!!) but I still think its brilliant that I received fee books, ideas for reading, poems etc.

But mainly it is an excellent reminder of how good reading with dd is when I;m tired!

(I love that dd can be entertained ANYWHERE with a few pages of a book )

mumblecrumble · 31/03/2010 21:59

Meglet - the only bit of parenting you love?

come on....

Meglet · 31/03/2010 22:06

mumble the rest of it is carnage (work p/t, lone parent 2 pre-schoolers - not much fun TBH), but reading is bliss.

sungirltan · 31/03/2010 22:14

you'd be surprised. even dh comes out with classics such as 'eugh! what do i need to bother with a book for when i can look it up on the internet?'

it depends how you were brought up whtehr you see the value of reading to/with your child. my parents read to me every night and consequently i read hundreds of books when i was a kid and remeber them fondly. dh can only remember a single book from childhood.

squilly · 31/03/2010 22:15

I wasn't read to as a child but grew up to adore reading and books. I'm not sure where the stimulus came from, but I loved reading with my girl from very early days.

I consider myself lucky to have developed my love for books. And I tell dd every time we read together that we're very lucky to have our own books and to have each other to read them with.

She goes through stages of not reading at all (which drives me nuts...inside) but now she's 9 and she loves the reading thing.

We had the Bookstart pack and spent a lot of time at the library. I was always heartened by the number of women who came to the sessions from the more economically dprived areas of the city. I'd never be so patronising as to say 'well done you' but I remember coming from a background like that and not having the suppot...so it always made me so happy.

Gotta love any moves anyone makes to make reading a part of every child's life.

MilaMae · 31/03/2010 22:27

I don't think it's sad that every parent doesn't know the value of reading to their kids-why should they know? I'm KS1 trained and ex literacy. I know but I have many secondary teacher friends who didn't realise the benefits of reading every night. They'll be lots in the secondary area that I'll be clueless about when the time comes.

Not all adults love reading themselves and why should they. I do but detest just about every sport activity bar swimming and walking. Horses for courses.

Bookstart and the leaflet are fab, bookless houses are everywhere. I once worked in a very affluent area in a high achieving school. The kids were dreadful with books, never seen anything like it. Didn't respect them and if I had a £1 for every time I heard "we're both too busy to hear them read". Very high level of reading in that school though.

Interestingly I've read to my 3 including twins every night since they were 6 weeks old,they're all very good readers but one of my twins finds it a dreadful chore. His twin is a book addict,I do think personality has a lot to do with things regarding an actual love of reading which is slightly different to a love of books in the early days of reading. The reluctant twin is fluent,loves books but reading itself does involve a lot of yawns. He's actionboy whereas his twin is the opposite.

watfordmummy · 31/03/2010 22:33

My ds2 didn't want to be read to, even from a young age. Hated it still does now 7. He find reading a chore but his older brother loved to be read to read easily. I couldn't pin him down to read to him he would yell and shout and not listen. I know it would help him but he's not interested, we've tried different books/comics/cereal packets!

I don't need people telling be I'm a bad parent I already know it!

megapixels · 31/03/2010 22:37

Well the sad reality is that some people have to actually be told this.

A bit off topic, but I found a review for this book where someone was reading it to their 8 week old child. Thought it was quite OTT to read 30-40 page stories to an 8 weeker - they can barely hold their heads up, much less listen to a Chinese folk tale.

MilaMae · 31/03/2010 22:42

Blimey,they probably couldn't actually see the pictures. We had scrunchy b&w books which they threw up over, I was a bit precious about it at the time

usualsuspect · 31/03/2010 22:49

Why are you a bad parent watfordmummy... my ds was read too every night...I admit I found it a chore ..but he won't read a book for pleasure despite being surrounded by books..not a problem imo..he can read

MilaMae · 31/03/2010 22:57

Yes agree with Usual why should all kids love reading? You want your kid to be able to read,loving it is just an added bonus.

In addition to reading I wish mine all loved sport,science,art,music...... some they do some they don't. We're not all meant to be bookish people. Being different is what makes us all interesting.

cat64 · 31/03/2010 23:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MilaMae · 31/03/2010 23:04

I did wonder that myself Cat,I've come across it big time in just about every school I've taught in. In fact most schools produce their own leaflet urging reading/story time at home in Rec for this very reason.

People don't all work in the education sector,many parents get keen when you do explain the benefits.

ItNeverRainsBut · 31/03/2010 23:09

I would love to read to DD but she doesn't really let me. We'll start, but she ends any attempts pretty quickly.

Original poster
clemette · 01/04/2010 08:14

Once again, I am not surprised that some parents need the encouragement. As a secondary teacher we had similar schemes to encourage homework. However , my question was really about the fact that the problem must be so widespread to justify a leaflet to ALL parents, the majority of whom can read and do have access to books but who CHOOSE not to.

OP posts:
sarah293 · 01/04/2010 08:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Clarissimo · 01/04/2010 08:23

Used to work evening shifts in a college that did adult reading classes and a lot of themc ame as their kids needed help that they couldn't give

Anything that promotes this is a big plus in my book. I was lucky- my kids are lucky- many are not.

gorionine · 01/04/2010 08:26

I was never ever read to as a child, but could see my mum reading very often and it definitely encouraged me to read.

I do read to my Dcs because they do not like to read themself but am not sure I am doing them a favour as they do not find there is a need for them to just pick up a book and read it (Appart from DD1). It is like still doing the laces for a 15 year old IYSWIM.

Clarissimo · 01/04/2010 08:27

And no to emans testing with this

Apart from the cost comapred to a few books bought in bulk at an assessment you'd be at anyhow, I amnnot sure I want a HV i've never met to know we're financially finding it tough.

My older boys ahted reading until quite recently when DH started reading for pleasure. Now book store trips are the traditional start to every trip away. DS4 adores books constrantly and is thriving on them, ds3 can read but has no interest in books but its a different thing due to SN.

pitterpatterfeet · 01/04/2010 08:58

YABU there are probably lots of parents out there who were never read to as children and who don't realise the importance. Yes it's sad that this is the case. My mum taught kids in the 70s who came to school and had no idea how to open a book, a lot of them will be parents now. If even some of them start reading to their children it could break the cycle of illiteracy for these families.

Madascheese · 01/04/2010 09:14

I'm not sure means testing is the way to go, I'm not convinced that (lack of) literacy sees wealth as a barrier.

I know 'well off people' my exh and his family included (well I say know, I watch them through the windows...) who wouldn't know which way to pick up a book whereas my family were the proverbial church mouse brigade and we all read avidly.

I don't think YABU to find it sad that not everyone does it, but I think you are a little unreasonable to sound so surprised.

bruffin · 01/04/2010 09:21

Itsneverrain

I wouldn't worry. DD was the same, she would never sit for a story,far more interested in everything going on around her. She virtually taught herself to read and is now always reading.

I also think it's not being read to that encourages reading, but parents setting an example and reading books themselves is far more effective way of getting to children to read.

MilaMae · 01/04/2010 10:04

I don't agree with means testing as agree lack of literacy doesn't see wealth as a barrier. In fact I'd say families with 2 working parents are less likely to read at night due to time constraints. I struggle with my 3 and I'm a SAHM.

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