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Original poster

to be depressed that people need to be told/taught to read to their children

120 replies

clemette · 31/03/2010 19:37

DS had his two year development check today and was delighted to get his bookstart pack. It is brilliant and I applaud the charity, but I did find the glossy booklet that came with it very depressing. Surely everyone knows that you should read to your children??

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 31/03/2010 20:20

My ds's favourite book many years ago was chicken sodding licken..god I hated that book

Bleatblurt · 31/03/2010 20:21

I think some parents are just not confident about reading aloud. It has taken 5 years for my DH to be comfortable reading stories to our DS's. He reads a lot but reading aloud made him feel awkward for some reason. There must be others that are like this and also some that struggle with reading themselves.

Pozzled · 31/03/2010 20:23

ScreaminEagle- I am so suprised that young kids books bore you, there is soooo much good stuff out there. TBH, I prefer kids books to adult, which is maybe why I'm a teacher!

Also agree with whoever said that they've never met a child who didn't enjoy being read to.

PrettyCandles · 31/03/2010 20:24

When I was pg with dc1 I was utterly horrified to read that some children start school without even knowing that stories continue on the next page in the book.

We have read to our dc since they were a few months old. Some of those books take less than a minute to read. You hold your child and sit down at some point in the day, even if only at bedtime, how difficult can it be to talk about a picture book>

Original poster
clemette · 31/03/2010 20:26

Reflecting avoiding the ironing I would be interested to know if there are lots of parents who can read, do have books in the house etc etc who just don't bother.

OP posts:
chandellina · 31/03/2010 20:27

it's essential, IMO, but it doesn't mean they'll keep reading.

story about kids not reading

Original poster
clemette · 31/03/2010 20:28

Reflecting avoiding the ironing I would be interested to know if there are lots of parents who can read, do have books in the house etc etc who just don't bother.

OP posts:
PrettyCandles · 31/03/2010 20:28

Strandedatsea, how does giving bookstart packs to wealthier families disadvantage the less well-off?

There was more than one mum at ds1's school who objected to having to read to her dc because "they shouldn't have homework at this age" and "it's the school's job to educate them, not mine" and "kid's books are boring, I have to skip pages to shorten them because they are so boring and repetitive". And most of them were BMW-and-pearls types.

Original poster
clemette · 31/03/2010 20:29

Prettycandles, I think that they could spend the money on giving MORE books to those who don't have any/don't have easy access to a library...

OP posts:
Bleatblurt · 31/03/2010 20:31

I don't actually think that not reading to your child is as big a deal as some think it is. I DO read daily to mine and we all enjoy it btw. But I think as long as books are available and your children see YOU read for pleasure they will pick up on this and learn to love books this way. Obviously it would be great if all children were read to at home but I don't think it actually does any harm not to. I was never read to as a child but there were plenty of books around and I grew to love reading so much that when I was in trouble I wouldn't be grounded - I'd be chucked out the house to go play so that I couldn't stay in and read!

tummytime · 31/03/2010 20:31

I feel your pain screamin eagle... DD passionately adores Charlie and Lola stories at the moment. I'm trying to get her onto the gruffalo etc but without much success so far.

I don't read as much as I should to DS (5.5mo) as he only eats books so we spend the whole time fighting about them.

strandedatsea · 31/03/2010 20:32

Pretty Candles - money spent on books for people who can afford to buy their own can be spent on those who can't??? Surely it's about giving everyone the same chance in life. If a wealthy parent doesn't want to read to their kid no amount of freebies is going to pursuade them.

I was very puzzled to be handed a bag full of books when we have shelf-loads of them at home. (Of course I took them anyway as who can resist a freebie).

mesobitchy · 31/03/2010 20:33

Oh I feel you with the Thomas books ScreaminEagle.
They are the books that go 'missing' in our house.

Luckily DS prefers lift the flap books and doesn't mind too much!

Original poster
clemette · 31/03/2010 20:34

Tummytime that reminds me of trying to keep my PFB awake aged 4 months because she NEEDED to have a bedtime story. Perhaps I have always been a bit extreme about it

OP posts:
tethersend · 31/03/2010 20:45

I don't want to bring the thread down, but some parents need to be told to feed their children.

I find it hard to get worked up about this issue TBH.

TheLadyEvenstar · 31/03/2010 20:45

I would love a penny for everytime I have read to DS2 and he shuts the book and walks away .

DS1 on the other hand was able to read simple books at the same age

ScreaminEagle · 31/03/2010 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

thisisnotwhoyouthink · 31/03/2010 20:53

The thing that saddens me, are the people that say they 'dont have time' to read to their children. I dont see how an extra five minutes at bedtime can hurt. Surely missing the first five minutes of your tv show or putting your own bedtime FIVE minutes later as you have shores to do after they are asleep is worth it??

elvislives · 31/03/2010 20:55

Butterball, that doesn't follow. I love reading and like nothing better than to ignore everyone else and disappear with a book. "mummy's 2-hour baths" (with a book) are a standing joke between DH and the DCs.

4 of my children are grown up (18+). The eldest loves to read. The next one never reads fiction. At all. DC3 loves to read. DC4 never reads anything. Has shelves of books that are just not touched, yet went to grammar school.

They have all seen how much I love to read yet 2 of them don't. They were all read to regularly as littlies.

DC5 is 3 yo and has only started to enjoy books in the last few months. We've been trying to read to her since she was tiny but she just wanted to turn the pages and get down.

Original poster
clemette · 31/03/2010 20:58

It did make my smile wryly when I read in the bookstart booklet that "your children need to see you reading" - my two would NEVER let me sit down and read something that didn't involve them!

OP posts:
TottWriter · 31/03/2010 21:01

I wholeheartedly agree that it's sad how many people don't read to their children. I have memories of being read to by both my mum and my dad - and my dad is one of those people who 'doesn't' read, so it was certainly a conscious effort on his part.

But I don't think the bookstart campaign is itself a depressing one. If you don't read much yourself, how would you know which books were appropriate for your child? One of the good things about being given books is that it is a guideline tothe sort of books you could be reading to your child as they reach the age brackets for the packs. If that kick-start helps even a few thousand families learn how to read to their children, then it has helped.

As for my DS, our problem at the moment is more that once you've read him a book he wants it read to him again, and again - oh, and two minutes later, once more. He does rotate most of his books in this way, but it just means we're getting fed up with all of them. Oh well. We've packed away the board books now, so at least we aren't being asked to read him books which don't actually have any words in them. Also, is it wrong that he's only two next week and I'm already well into planning the books I'll be reading him when he's none or ten?

Bleatblurt · 31/03/2010 21:09

Of course it follows. Just as you are proving that reading to your child doesn't necessarily teach them to enjoy reading. It's all just about encouraging them. Them seeing you enjoying a story can help. Reading to them can help. You can do one or both those things and still end up with a child that doesn't like to read. I was just pointing out that not reading to them isn't some terrible thing that some people think it is. [genuine smile btw and not used passive aggressively - I know how sometimes it's used in a very PA way.]

Bumperlicious · 31/03/2010 21:10

I love reading myself but HATE reading aloud, and loathe most of DD's books. I know I should do it more, but it is really only a bedtime thing here.

I don't really remember my mum reading to me but I was a voracious reader once I learned to read myself.

I'm determined to put together a bag of books for DD that I don't mind reading for when I am stuck on the sofa bfing no.2.

taffetacat · 31/03/2010 21:25

Its an interesting thread and has made me think. I love reading - both for myself and to my DC.

DH, OTOH, can only remember reading one book as a child ( Danny the Champion of the World ) and never reads books for himself.

The last few months we have been reading various Roald Dahl books to DS ( not Danny yet ), and DH, who is not as self confident a reader out loud as I, clamours to get there first to read if he's around at bedtime. Last night, I was reading Matilda to him and DH came and sat at the end of the bed for ages. This is most out of character. I asked him if he had something else to be getting on with, and he said, no, he was enjoying listening to the story.

Off subject a bit, sorry. I think the Bookstart initiative is fantastic, not depressing. To some families, its a natural thing to do, others not. Its good for those for whom its not an obvious thing to understand the benefits.

Emster30 · 31/03/2010 21:41

My mum is an avid reader but HATED reading aloud to me as a child, so taught me to read when I was about 2. My dad used to read to me. I now don't much like reading aloud or being read to, although I devour books. My DH absolutely loves reading aloud, so he's going to be the one reading to our child!