People who have children should want to be with them

[LadyEarth]

Like any Mum I have my own personal preferences about how we should raise our children but I try not to impose those on other parents on the basis that we all find a different balance between keeping ourselves healthy and happy and doing the same for our children.(I know that comes across as hideously sanctimonious... maybe I am...) . What I loathe is selfish DINKY's who refuse to sacrifice any of their hedonistic lifestyle for the sake of their child. I am currently bombarded on facebook by one such parent whose baby is only weeks old. Each post revels in yet another night out, or 14 hours sleep (with earplugs). Baby is left with friends, grandparents or neighbours. Don't get me wrong, it's good for parents to check into their support networks and get some down time but it is also important for babies to have security and a primary care giver. A parent who views their child as a burden even with all this "me-time" won't be giving the child the important emotional regulation it needs, and if you dislike being around babies so much, get a dog!

outrageous and judgy.transposing your experience/beliefs onto another mum. i abhorr this faux guessing at motives suggesting dysfunction.it was you lynette who directly suggested she was failing to bond,casting aspersions upon the mum

you have your anecdotal/subjective experience.this is your real lived experience but not necessarily applicable to anyone else.

only read op but

'Don't get me wrong, it's good for parents to check into their support networks'

check into their support networks?
that is the most irritating phrase for what is essentially a night out I ever heard

and facebook is for kids

In that case, Scottishmummy, maybe I will throw all empathy out of the window, and suggest this mother is a selfish cow, who has no excuse for not being at home with her new born other than she fancies having a good time.

And sticking ear plugs in and sleeping for 14 hours? I'm presuming, yes presuming there was another adult present to FEED the chid.

Fuck my and my spympathy.

LadyEarth, YANBU.

I loathe newborns and I have nothing but admiration for women who manage to get dolled up and go out after the trauma of pregnancy and childbirth.

OP - you try not to impose your preferences on other parents? Bollocks

LadyEARth, your DC are lucky to have you as a mother.

i think this is a well embellished urban myth.avaricious parents go skateboarding/extreme nose picking/trot off gun-ho poor wee wean has a bugaboo and stokke but al it wants is mummy hugs

and fwiw,we are not all a homogenous mass of mammies.one cannot expect other mums to do exactly as we'd do

when I as a student I had a friend who had a baby and she didn't let it change her - she was out getting drunk and picking up men with me when he was 6 weeks old - he was left with another student who was baby sitting him I thought she was an inspiration but really it was very sad - 2 years later he was such a sad wee boy who had major behavioural problems.

so the OP might be exaggerating or she might be right - time will tell but I don't think she's BU

sticking in earplugs and sleeping for 14 hours

it just sounds like bollocks to me
embellishment to give the op spice