to expect parents to RSVP to a kids birthday party

[outnumbered2to1]

my DS1 will be 6 in April and because his birthday is during easter holidays i sent out his party (his first ever party for his school friends) invitations the middle of last week. So far only 10 people out of his class of 22 have bothered to reply either in person, via my mobile number or using the RSVP slip on the invitation.
I appreciate the party is during the easter holidays but AIBU to expect replies?

@ *sherlockH~ yes toccata is right, if someone turns up who hasn't replied (well they all have, but let's say someone who has said no changes their mind) then they will eb out of luck.

It's a child's screening at a bargain price and IME they always sell out. I have booked and paid for the right number of tickets; so an extra on the day would probably mean a disappointed child.

How would the kid feel? Pretty sad I guess. How would I feel? Puzzled as to why anyone could be as rude as that (and as rude as you!). And sad for the child that they have rude parents.

What else should I do? Buy an extra couple of tickets in case random extra children turn up? I don't have the dough, sorry. Extras at a party in a hall with games are one thing (tho still rude); extras when payment and booking up front is involved are something else.

However, as others say, I strongly suspect you know this and are in fact winding us all up. In which case consider yourself successful

Is SherlockH one of the CUK lot?

it gets to me too. My ds1 is anugust born so i have now gathered mobile numbers of most of the parents in the class so i am able to contact them in case there is a problem and the party is cancelled. What this really translates into is me being able to text them all a few days before the party to remind them to come. Last year 4 replied after the reminder text to say sorry forgot we are busy now!!

This year my son wants to do a laserzone thing which is mega expensive and so i MUST know numbers. I am going to send out a note with the invite that will state that if they do not RSVP by the given date and then turn up they will be sent away because there are strict numbers and once it is full they don't allow anyone else in. I do feel a bit rude (but then again maybe i don't!!) but so many just turn up with out letting me know and this year i really need to know.

1Littleboy1Bigboy advice here wait until school starts again before you throw the party. I have an August DD and I will never again have a party for her until September.

I do children parties for a living and all parents say that this is a constant problem.

Last weekend at tea time the parents had to quickly set up another table as 7 children had turned up that hadn't replied! Usually it's the pushy children of bad mannered parents who rush to the table first, leaving the quiet ones without a place . Or the reverse happens table is set up and lots of empty places......

Would like it if hosts could say - no reply -no party bag!

Or in the case of the laserzone -- no reply, then sorry, the laserzone can't accommodate your child?

yes!

LASERZONE have actually said to ensure everyone turns up on time because they explain how to use the equipment before the first game and anyone who doesn't attend that isn't allowed to play. This will also be going on my note as some children turn up an hour into parties!

Yes Math, I always have my August dd's party in June/July depending on when they break up. If you want to guarantee hardly anyone showing up then do it in the summer hols

round here we only reply if it's a 'no'... if they can come we don't bother.

but then it's a very small community and everyone knows everyone, the three 'no' i had for dd's party al said it to me in person.

on the plus side they're all punctual, everyone was dropped off and collected within 10 mins of start and end times!

I continue to be absolutely staggered at the utter rudeness of so many parents (and I now include many on Mumsnet). How difficult is it to pick up the phone or cross out will/will not on an RSVP slip? Being busy is a pathetic excuse. It is plain bad upbringing and appalling manners. It is also very very hurtful to the poor parent who's trying to organise a nice birthday treat for their DC and their friends.

YANBU but good luck O2T1
dd had party on Sunday & I had 13 'no responses' out of about 30 invitations
Quite a few were 2 kids per invite too so had no idea if I was planning for 29 or 47! Ended up with about 40 I think (2 hours manic haze)
How hard is it to text yes or no?????

Is it just me, or do some parents actually not care about their kids' friendships at all?

I have in the past deliberatly missed out information on invites, e.g. exact place or time and then given out info to respondees. This is after booking a party where extra kids turned up without replying (even a sibling) and the venue wanted more money, more than I had available. Embarrassing. Had to borrow, it was the first party I'd had and it didn't occur to me this could happen!

Now invites say things like 'at my house' for the place or 'a cinema party' or 'an afternoon party'. Has cut that problem out, thought I feel a little mean at times. I do get the info out as soon as they text or ring in reply to be fair.

That's the really mind-boggling thing about it -- you're organising a nice event for these people's children, nobody told you to go to the trouble, you don't owe it to anyone, and the passive aggression (cos that's what I think it is) oozes out of the woodwork at you in return.

Strawberry, I love your strategy.

Admittedly I do sometimes forget!!

Also had once forgotton to clear out ds tray at nursery tor ages like over a month. Cleared it out to find party invite at the bottom! Party been and gone!! I did text mobile no and explain and wished their ds a happy birthday.

Oh and I both of my dd mums had to chase me to find out if we were going!! I am one of those mums!!!

I will try harder I wil try harder!!

what on earth is sherlock saying, think they are one of CUK trolls!

anyway, just to say 10 kids is ALOT, maybe chase the kids he likes, and fuck the rest of em

Maybe people could put on invites that 'unless we hear from you we will presume you are unable to attend,.
DO you think that would work or would some people still be so ignorant not to reply and still turn up.

Everyone texts now don't they? Shouldn't be hard to reply by text should it?

For those who don't / can't / won't RSVP but still turn up - how would you feel if the party host is skint and has tightly budgeted for a party and has to turn your child away?

DD wants a pottery party and its £15 per head payable 2 weeks before - she's allowed to invite 5 friends so the cost is quite considerable - now if some of them don't RSVP I will be inviting other children to fill those places.

Whats the etiquette if the non respondees then turn up on the day? Shell out money we don't have / turn them away / ask the parents to pay?

'Everyone texts now don't they?'

No.

strawberrykate that is a very sneaky clever solution. I am trying to work out how to apply it, though, given that most parents at DS's school know exactly where we live or know someone who does. [ponders]

If you don't text now you will when the kids are teens as this is their only means of communication

Lol - and grunting as a secondary form.

I think it is equally as rude, possibly more rude, to not RSVP and not turn up. Not so much as a thanks very much but we can't make it. It makes me sick, it really does. I think I am starting to despise most other parents from my experiences so far.

a wee update - chased up all the non replies today and got yes or no's from all invited!!!! yah party on!!!!