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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect parents to RSVP to a kids birthday party

104 replies

outnumbered2to1 · 30/03/2010 21:29

my DS1 will be 6 in April and because his birthday is during easter holidays i sent out his party (his first ever party for his school friends) invitations the middle of last week. So far only 10 people out of his class of 22 have bothered to reply either in person, via my mobile number or using the RSVP slip on the invitation.
I appreciate the party is during the easter holidays but AIBU to expect replies?

OP posts:

Shaz10 · 30/03/2010 21:31

No you're not, this does my head in. I'm having to chase people for my son's christening, I sent the invitations out a month ago. You and I need to know how many to cater for!

Tinykins · 30/03/2010 21:31

YANBU but unfortunately YAB unrealistic.

This bugs the crap out of me too, but most parents tend not to bother replying.

Hulababy · 30/03/2010 21:34

YANBU to expect and want replies and it is amazes me how many people don't reply.

Frtunately round here most people DO reply and you only have a handful to chase.

But don't be afraid of chasing them.

Original poster

outnumbered2to1 · 30/03/2010 21:38

i'm not afraid of chasing them but i don't have the bloody time to chase them.... aaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh

The soft play only allows 25 kids and at the moment there are going be 10 kids plus my 2 running around it and its going look really empty.

I'm concerned that my son will be upset that so little people want to be at his party then i have this other nightmare when everyone we invited turns up bringing other siblings with them......

HELP!!!!!!!! I'm making party bags in my sleep!!!!

OP posts:

Joolyjoolyjoo · 30/03/2010 21:41

YANBU- am amazed how many people don't reply then just turn up!

On the other hand, I found an invitation in the dark recesses of dd2's nursery folder on saturday- for the next day . I did, of course, text the sender with huge apologies, but I have no way of knowing when the invitation was actually sent out, as dd2 didn't even know about it! is your ds quite vocal? If so, get him to nudge his friends!

SixtyFootDoll · 30/03/2010 21:42

Yanbu
I cant beleive how rude people are.
I hate having to chase people up.

Original poster

outnumbered2to1 · 30/03/2010 21:46

unfortunately DS1 is quite shy so it'll be up to me to tackle parents in the playground..... but then i feel kinda rude going up to them and saying is your son or daughter coming to my childs party?

its starting to piss me off actually cos i always RSVP and ask the parent what sort of things their son or daughter likes or would they suggest some gift that would be approriate.....

OP posts:

snorkie · 30/03/2010 21:55

I used to think the same until I had a child who lost everything. So lots of invites either never came home or turned up months too late. So now, having been guilty of not RSPVing to quite a few, I tend to assume it's mostly disorganised kids that cause it, rather than rude parents.

Shaz10 · 30/03/2010 21:56

Just ask them if they got the invitation. If they look at you blankly you'll know it's in the book bag!

Original poster

outnumbered2to1 · 30/03/2010 21:59

yeah but I gave them the invitations. Cornered everyone of them in the playground cos DS1 is a nightmare with things like that

OP posts:

sherlockH · 30/03/2010 22:04

Message deleted

Shaz10 · 30/03/2010 22:07

Big smile, think breezy and say "Hi, I was just wondering if Justin/Mabel etc will be able to make it on the ."
If you want to know numbers you'll just have to ride it out and not be nasty (as tempting as it is! )

taffetacat · 30/03/2010 22:09

You need to chase them. Just say you need to firm up numbers with the venue. That will give you the number - then add 20 - 30 percent for siblings and take off 10 - 20% for no shows/illness etc.

Parents may be hedging waiting to see what else they are doing in the holidays. Both my DC have birthdays in the holidays so am used to it.

sherlockH · 30/03/2010 22:09

Message deleted

Original poster

outnumbered2to1 · 30/03/2010 22:10

getting to the point where i want to pin them up against the fence and scream is your kid coming to this party or what!!!!!

lol

its all my own fault i know but DS1 is having family party the day before on his actual birthday so organising 2 parties at same time.......madness should be my middle name

OP posts:

Mutt · 30/03/2010 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sherlockH · 30/03/2010 22:17

Message deleted

Shaz10 · 30/03/2010 22:19

When you eventually go through the book bag perhaps you could call the number on the invitation?

It's polite.

sherlockH · 30/03/2010 22:21

Message deleted

whifflegarden · 30/03/2010 22:23

yanbu...but in my experience it's always best to have the party during term time if you want a good turn out. DD's bday is in August and I always do her party the last weekend of term (end June/start July)

ToccataAndFudge · 30/03/2010 22:25

YANBU - but I'm one of those parents at times. Especially when I'm low and just remembering wehther it's school day or not and getting them out on time is an achievement.

claw3 · 30/03/2010 22:25

YANBU, would drive me bonkers too

wubblybubbly · 30/03/2010 22:28

I'm afraid I've not yet formally RSVP'd to an invite for DS, tbh I've been pretty poorly and it totally slipped my mind, certainly I didn't intend to be rude

I did mention to the Mum that he would be going and apologised and I'll now dig out the official RSVP slip and fill it in for tomorrow. Thanks for reminding me

MintHumbug · 30/03/2010 22:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sherlockH · 30/03/2010 22:28

Message deleted

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