to expect parents to RSVP to a kids birthday party

[outnumbered2to1]

my DS1 will be 6 in April and because his birthday is during easter holidays i sent out his party (his first ever party for his school friends) invitations the middle of last week. So far only 10 people out of his class of 22 have bothered to reply either in person, via my mobile number or using the RSVP slip on the invitation.
I appreciate the party is during the easter holidays but AIBU to expect replies?

OP I agree it is a pain, get chasin woman.

Sherlock - have to agree you are very rude.

DS2's party is on Sunday and it is a film. If anyone who hasn't RSVPed (actually everyone has because I chased them up) just decides to come along, they won't get in as I haven't bought em a ticket (and it is sure to be sold out). That doesn't sound liek a win-win situation to me.

ToccataAndFudge - what's wrong with a landline number?! I can't stand it when people only give mobile numbers - I never ever ring anyone on a mobile if I can help it!

What's so difficult about returning an RSVP slip in any case? In our case, all these poor busy parents had to do was tick a box and put it in DS's little pigeon hole at nursery. I just don't get it.

Maybe it's because DS is 3 and a PFB, but I am really pleased if he gets invited to a party, I'm interested in his friends and I want to encourage his friendships as much as I can. I don't get why others don't feel the same.

because I can send a text with a mobile, and don't actually have to ring.

I can't remember the last invite any of my DS's got with a RSVP slip on it - current one doesn't.

And given that there's a huge pile of papers in the kitchen waiting to be sent back to school highly likely it would be lost in there right now anyhow.......

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Clary - yes I expect she will - she won't be able to buy any more tickets so the child can't attend.

I think if you are going to the trouble of booking somewhere it's the least they can do to pick up the phone.

If you really need to know numbers put an
'RSVP by date' on the invitation, it does help if people know they need to reply by a certain date.

I would not expect someone who hasn't repiled to just turn up at the party and wouldn't have a party bag or even space for them depending on the venue. Thankfully no one has ever done that to me but I would in some cases have to turn the child away!

sherlock are you for real or just winding us up?

Agree with Mutt - I had the same scenario where DS wanted triplets to come to his party.

Couldn't run the risk of them turning up and not accounted for so had to pay the venue (in advance) £36 in total for their places and they didn't turn up.

So no sherlock not just a few more sandwiches - DS could have chosen three other friends to his party if the parents had just had the manners to reply.

Do those who don't reply really think its fair that the party host is massively out of pocket or inconvenienced because they cannot be arsed to RSVP.

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sherlockH - many places have a minimum number so even if kids don't turn up you still pay. If someone doesn't reply I would either chase up the parent or just assume they are not comming and invite another in their place. I'm sorry to say but if you get a reputation for not replying and just turning up your child will stop being invited to parties where knowing numbers in advance really matter.

jenduff and mutt (and co) can I just point out that while I don't often remember to reply (without being chased) it's not a case of bad manners, I feel really shit when I realise I've forgotten to RSVP.

And I think sherlock's attitude is disgusting.

oh and I have finally mananged to send a text for the party that DS2 has been invited to next Monday

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If you are just booking the minmum order and someone doesn't reply then you can find someone else to replace them. If the child who didn't reply then turns up on the day the parent will pay for the party plus one extra which I think is unfair if they haven't budgeted for it.

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sherlockH: Regardless of the cost/head; needing to tell a venue the numbers; how much food is involved; party bags etc. I still think it is plain wrong not to RSVP when asked.

Even if it is a party at home where catering would just be "a few extra sandwiches here or there" that attitude is rude and inconsiderate.

But then I suspect you know that really - I sense a wind-up.

If the child was a good friend of my childs they would have replied, if someone can't be bothered but turns up then the money would mean more!

I have a terrible memory for these things.

I marched into school last term (or was it earlier this term) with a reply slip and £8 for a school trip. Feeling very pleased with myself, it was "on time".

Only to be told that they'd sent out early letters the term before and I'd already not only brought the slip back put paid as well on the "early warning" letter we'd had .

I do usually manage to show up on time for things though.

gah - after all that I discovered that my best friend had told the party girl's mum that DS2 would be going as she was taking him.

Oh well - at least have confirmed it.

This struck a real chord - every time I have a party (not too often tbh, I struggle with these things) people dont RSVP and I get all panicked about noone turning up, then inevitably they all remember and phone the day before/morning of - or just turn up looking apologetic.

Fortunately most of the places I have used have had a "pay for who turns up" policy (soft play etc) but as they get older that gets less likely. I admit to being a control freak who gets completely panicked by it.

I dont think its deliberate - just people having too much on and thinking, Ill get to that later, or I will need to check if she can make it.

my god, what on EARTH did SherlockH say?!