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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

punishment at private school

186 replies

rawspice · 29/03/2010 11:31

AIBU to be cross because my dd was punished at her school in such a way that it left her with a blister and cut on her finger and she was understandably distressed?

The teacher had her sharpen pencils for 1 hour as a punishment for using rude language nearly 3 weeks after the incident. She's only 8 years old and maybe I'm overreacting....

I have spoken to the headmistress but she does not feel it is an unreasonale sanction and she claims they only made her do this for 30 minutes, but I cannot see how an 8 year old child can sharpen 36 pencil in 30 minutes - is this even possible????

I know that schools have to have rules but should punishments result in cuts or blisters?

Makes me feel like a basket case!

OP posts:
SpicedGerkin · 29/03/2010 16:32

So the school didn't even know for sure she'd said those words?

Original poster
rawspice · 29/03/2010 16:36

The school said they have 'reason to believe...' and that 'on the balance of probabilities...it is likely' although it is one person's word against anothers.

OP posts:
Fliight · 29/03/2010 16:44

Some of you lot really are a bunch of superior, nasty bastards people.

Why on earth would anyone want to make up something as dull as this, for a start - it sounds perfectly plausible to me.

And if your children don't use these aparticular words, what do they call these things - would it be more appropriate for an 8yo to call them breasts and a penis, at school?

OP I think you have held up well under a lot of rather facile criticism, here.

If I were you I would jack it in like I did about a month ago - and like I'm about to again.

SpicedGerkin · 29/03/2010 16:50

Not impressed that'd they'd punish a single child 3 weeks later for something she may or may not have done, no matter what the punishment...

Mrsdoasyouwouldbedoneby · 29/03/2010 16:52

Blister yes, I sharpened all the pencils in DS's class, I was faster than the battery type model (electric actually), which gave up the ghost.

Is it at all possible she tried to sharpen her finger? I know she is 8 and everything, but even at 8 kids have impulses they can't resist!!

I think willy and Boob, are pretty much harmless words that children use t make each other giggle, and this can be very disruptive. DS uses the word willy, but I expect him to use it in context (i.e he might tell me if his willy is sore). The word Penis also makes him laugh, so I'd not expect that one to be used out of context either.

Sounds a bit mean if i was just a case of please sir, rawspice's daughter said WILLY sir

5Foot5 · 29/03/2010 17:08

"BUT as a punishment I don't feel it is acceptable because it only taught her that sharpening lots of pencils can hurt and NOT that rude language is unacceptable. "

I think that is one of the most peculiar statements in this whole thread. Surely your DD can make the connection that if she was made to do this task as a punishment for the words she used then the school considers those words unacceptable?

Never mind whether you agree or not on the acceptability of those words or the severity (or otherwise) of the punishment, I don't see how you can argue that it would fail to convey the message that the school disapprove.

Condensedmilkaddict · 29/03/2010 17:08

Oh for goodness sake.
Sharpening pencils is not a punishment.
A punishment would be detention, a telling off by someone in authority or picking up rubbish.

Seriously, do you really not think you are being a tad precious here?

Let's be rational about it...

Do you really, truly believe that some girls have conspired to get your daughter in trouble? Then the teacher has decided to unreasonably punish your child who has done no wrong AT ALL. And the punishment is so heavy handed and severe that you need to get upset about it??

I tell you what, today at work I was blamed for something that wasn't my fault. One of the other workers stuffed up and tried to blame it on me. It was unfair.
It was quite a trivial matter, so I decided on the balance of things, that it wasn't worth fighting about. And let it go.

How would/will your daughter cope OP when life doesn't go her way?

I am not saying don't defend your children, but make sure it's something worthwhile.

Ever heard of the boy who cried wolf?

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 29/03/2010 17:09

It does sound like it was only a minor cut - it didn't require any treatment other than a plaster. That said, if it was still bleeding when she came out of school, it made sense to take her to the school nurse, so she wasn't dripping blood all the way home. But I'm surprised the plaster lasted three days before needing replacement - in my experience with boys, plasters get dirty and wet and fall off within minutes - maybe girls are different. If the plaster needed replacing because the cut opened up again, frankly that wouldn't surprise me - you use your fingers all the time, so it would be quite easy to open it up - it's not neccessarily an indication of the seriousness of the cut.

You still haven't said how your daughter cut her finger - at 8 years old I would expect her to be able to explain how it happened - and this makes me suspect that either she is not telling you how she cut her finger because she was doing something silly, or that she has told you, and you aren't telling us because she was doing something silly, and you think we are going to say that that is her own silly fault not the school's fault.

fallon8 · 29/03/2010 17:14

of course she,s bloody "distressed",she's been in trouble and punished! This oviously was the final straw fro the teacher,and where is she hearing bad language? Taking her to the nurse?!!!! Why? bet they had agood laugh in staffroom later,I would. you all sound a bit precious to me.Of course when children are being naughty,I bet it is never one of yours, I dont think.

seeker · 29/03/2010 17:14

Isn't this sort of thing why peoples send their children to private school in ther first place?

Quattrocento · 29/03/2010 17:14

I hesitate to suggest this, but is it a possibility that you are being pre-menstrual and irrational?

Make a deal with yourself. DO NOTHING about it for a fortnight. If you still think it's a big deal then, perhaps do something about it.

runnybottom · 29/03/2010 17:24

Unless you can tell us how an 8 yr old badly cuts a finger sharpening pencils, I think the majority of us will think you are a WUM.

LeQueen · 29/03/2010 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quattrocento · 29/03/2010 17:28

Okay, I bite. What is a WUM?

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 29/03/2010 17:30

If the OP's dd's finger was bleeding when she came out of school, then going to the nurse for a plaster wasn't that daft, was it? If the OP didn't have a plaster in her handbag, the school nurse would be the logical place to find one, no? I find that bit reasonable - but not the rest of it.

Condensedmilkaddict · 29/03/2010 17:31

LeQueen

Kneazle · 29/03/2010 17:31

It sounds like a stupid punishment to me YANBU. I don't see why they couldn't just ask her not to say those words.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 29/03/2010 17:32

Maybe they did, and she said them again....

littlebylittle · 29/03/2010 17:32

Not sure about the punishment, but YABU to need to differentiate between punishment in a state and private school. What's the relevance of the type of school? Do you feel the punishments should be less, more, or do you think you should have more say in it? Sorry, just think the private thing is irrelevant.

Kneazle · 29/03/2010 17:36

Maybe so StayingDavidTennantsGirl but even if she shouted "you arse" in the face of a teacher I would have thought that just telling her off is enough - she is only eight.

Kneazle · 29/03/2010 17:38

I agree private school has nothing to do with it and is the main reason everyone is being so mean [runs away]

runnybottom · 29/03/2010 17:38

Wind Up Merchant.

SpicedGerkin · 29/03/2010 17:39

But the rules regarding punishments in schools are different between state and private?

They used to be anyway.

Kneazle · 29/03/2010 17:41

example ?

pagwatch · 29/03/2010 17:42

My DD goosed her teacher when she was only five and all she got was a [rolls eyes].

Although had she had a pencil it probably would have been more serious

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