punishment at private school

[rawspice]

AIBU to be cross because my dd was punished at her school in such a way that it left her with a blister and cut on her finger and she was understandably distressed?

The teacher had her sharpen pencils for 1 hour as a punishment for using rude language nearly 3 weeks after the incident. She's only 8 years old and maybe I'm overreacting....

I have spoken to the headmistress but she does not feel it is an unreasonale sanction and she claims they only made her do this for 30 minutes, but I cannot see how an 8 year old child can sharpen 36 pencil in 30 minutes - is this even possible????

I know that schools have to have rules but should punishments result in cuts or blisters?

Makes me feel like a basket case!

Posie don't be such a beast.

A lot of 8yos probably swear without knowing what it means, I know my 6yo does.

You need more info before making crass judgments like that. Though I do sympathise over your short conversation

im wiht PP
its odd for a kid of 8 to knowingly use bad lang

See now I am upset because when my ds was in reception his teacher would ask me to sharpen pencils when I went in to hear children read.

Hmm....

Fliight - I suspect most 8-year-olds would know that a swear word is 'naughty' even if they don't know what it means - I think they'd pick that up from context.

At the high school where my father used to teach, he took a girl to the new Headteacher for swearing at him - that had been standard under the old Head, and would have lead to, at least a bollocking if not a punishment. The new Head looked at the girl and said, "Oh dear X - you didn't mean to swear at MrMathsTeacher, did you" - and the girl replied that of course she hadn't meant to.

This incident was symptomatic of the new Head's approach to discipline, and was what led to the standards in that school plummeting, and eventually to Dad taking early retirement because he wasn't prepared to work somewhere where bad behaviour was condoned.

nobody had you been a very naughty girl...?

Well, not to my knowledge..

There again my ds is not known for co-operating...

We used to have "detentions" like this when I was at school. Practical things like cutting the ribbons required for speech day etc.

They used to be held once a month as they were so infrequently dished out - so could be up to 4 weeks after the event. - Could explain why its so long after the event OP?

Ours were on SATURDAY as well. My parents would have killed me. Very good deterent

You think it took you 8 yr old an hour to sharpen 30 pencils and she managed to cut herself and get a blister? I'd be more worried about her apparant lack of motor skills and co-ordination if this is the case!

YABVU, and teaching your child a very bad lesson.

what word did she say?

was she insulting someone or just saying oh bugger or something

My DS answered the teacher back, I think he gets this from his father, I happened to ask his teacher if he was cheeky and he said that ds1(aged 8) answered back in a non cheeky way. I said to his teacher I expected him to be very harsh about any disrespectful behaviour, short sharp punishments are very effective such as missing a play time. If he swore at school he would be punished at home on top of an school punishment.

runny...you have made me laugh so loud I frightened dc4!!!!

We can't know what happened unless OP comes back and tells us.

It could be anywhere on a fairly wide spectrum of incidents.

I also think if I am allowed to swear at appropriate times, my children should be allowed to as well.

Ds2 regularly says 'Oh bugger' when he is trying to play with something and it won't comply...he isn't 3 yet.

But it makes perfect sense in the context.

LeQueen - you would expect your 7yo to get a bollocking for swearing? Like that!

Seriously though I think the OP is BVU. Though the 3 week delay seems odd.

Sharpening pencils sounds like a very good idea for a punishment and if she got a blister then I guess she hasn't much experience at doing it and will learn a better way. Hopefully she will already have learnt not to swear at school.

Gonsmacked that you would actually bother the nurse about something as trivial as a small cut and a blister.

My friends and I used to compete to get the pencil sharpening job, it was a treat because you got to miss assembly.

OP, I can see why you are upset because your daughter hurt herself, but that is exactly what happened - she hurt herself. No teacher could reasonably predict that she would get hurt doing such a normal daily job, and i'm sure that if she'd said to the supervisor that she had sore fingers they wouldn't have made her carry on. It's just an accident your DD has had and I don't think you should take it up with the school unless they were making her do the pencils with a cut-throat razor or something.

Is she your eldest by any chance?

Plus I don't really like the term 'punishment'. It leaves an odd taste.

I tend to think it is pointless.

and this whole thread is making me feel very disillusioned and depressed about the school system as a whole, and the damage it appears to have done to us as a generation of parents.

It's really sad. However I do have PMT.

YABU. Sharpening pencils is hardly a punishment!

Am I the only one, who thinks some of these mindless comments are unneeded and downright shamefully rude!, she did not ask about her parenting at home or whether her dd lacks skills etc...

OP, I think the punishment was just that and unfortunately she ended up having a accident which was not mayor etc... I would be having stern words to the school tho about a punishment being given 3 weeks after the incident, was your dd upset due to not knowing why she was being punished, and was it explained to her that it was because the incident was 3 weeks ago!

I would presume that it may be very confusing for your dd to understand why the punishment was given now and not then, as well as being confused about the situation.

It's the same whatever you call it, Fliight. IMO the best way to stop bad behaviour is to stop, cut your usual friendliness right out for a minute and tell them sternly never, ever to do that again, with the air of a terrible crime. Can remember all the times my Ddad did that to me, teachers too, it is terrifying. (on one occasion the fearful word "turd" had been uttered - an unconscionable act in my houes for some reason, where the words bugger, bollocks etc were commonplace.)

Message withdrawn

"major"

LMH, no, you're not. Comments about a child's motor skills are beyond poor taste, imo, parenting skills a little more acceptable but not much.