to not invite my cousin and her little devils to DSs birthday party

[ElleBing]

Right, third AIBU in as many days. Here goes...

My DS is four in April and I am planning on a small party at home to save costs and because we only know about 7 LOs! I've had a party at home each year and each year, one of my cousins has let her three tearaways run riot through my house, pull my cat's tail, hit other kids, open the party food up before anyone said it could be opened and made DS cry by being little bulldogs.

This year, I am reluctant to invite them. My other cousin whose LO is very placid and lovely says that he probably won't come if the disruptive ones come because he'd end up losing his rag if they hit his LO again. Obviously, I don't want to make the people that I do want present feel like they don't want to come because the mini Reservoir Dogs are coming. My cousin isn;t the type of person you can say "please control your LOs" to. She just gets huffy and makes you feel like it's YOU with the problem. Basically, she feels like time at someone else's house is a break from her little shits and it's ok for them to run wild whilst she relaxes. But if I don't invite I KNOW I'll be talked about by sundry relatives. But I don't know if I'm past the age of caring what others think. it's my house, my DSs party. I can do what I like, right?

I can't believe people on here were so unsupportive of you Ellebing but I have children in my family I really don't like.

Complete lack of discipline! The mums in question are nice, too nice!

'Don't do that darling' & 'boys will be boys'

I had to get my friend to have my dog last time as I my dog snapped back at the brats when she was baited on a previous occasion.
I have decided I will no longer hold any more family get togethers at my house. Simple.

Good luck!

I think they were upset at my calling them cunts, rather than me being pissed off at them being little rotters.

Still, I won't be dictated to by a bunch of lemon-lipped sourpusses. If I want to disgrace myself by using terrible, terrible language then I'm old enough to take all of the rolled eyes/crossed arms/pursed lips

Didn't read all the thread but I'm sure you didn't say that to their faces, did you? Don't see what the big deal is and agree with you!

'bunch of lemon-lipped sourpusses'

Still at the playgroud name calling then?

Nobody's dictated anything to you, perhaps if you'd just like views that agree with your posts you could try netmums?

FFS

so people that dont take you you calling children "cunts" are "lemon-lipped sourpusses"

really?

I have been polite thus far, but this is really trying my patience

of course I don't expect everyone to agree with me. I just don't expect to be called a lowlife and have my own parenting judged because I called two exceptionally vile children the c-word. I could totally understand the vitriol if I'd used the word to describe a baby or my own DC, but come on. What's better? That I scream and shout at the LOs whilst they're in my home or I let off steam on MN? Some of you just need to get some perspective, that's all.

you cant go round calling everyone cunts and not expect some comeback!!!!

The when some people GENTLY disagree you refer to them as:

pitying the Doncaster boys (charming)
lemon sour puss yada yada

Its not what you said, its how you said it

How can you tell how I said it? You're reading text and text doesn't pick up nuances and tones in voice. I don't object to people objecting to me using the C-word but I won't apologise for it and I won't be judged for it. I don't use the word on front of my DS or any other children for that matter. I'm just wondering how using it on a forum equates to me being a lowlife.

Oh and FYI, the Doncaster reference was a response to someone saying they felt sorry for them, not a response to an objection of my frightful language.

TBH porcam, I recon the OP might just be posting for the crack now.

Like you say, posters have said she's been offensive and she keeps arguing the toss that she hasn't been, well...yes you have because you've offended people by calling children cunts. You can't tell people they don't feel offended by that as they clearly do.

Letting off steam on a public forum - fine, asking for advice on how to handle a situation - great, expecting people not to say anything when you post something that should have stayed in your head - wrong.

You could just accept that what you said may have offended people and you didn't mean to do that?

Nobodys arguing about using the word cunt, as you said, we're all adults, it's the applying it to children that's offensive, not the word.

Like I said, AZZ (if you actually read my posts instead of just skimming through them) I don't have any objection to people objecting to my language. I just object to being judged on my parenting because of it. I've never raised my voice to my LO, nevermind swore at him.

If I can accept that people are offended by my swearing, can you not accept that I am offended by being judged for swearing in an adult environment? Am I seriously the ONLY person in the history of the world to call someone a swear word in temper? Really?

Like I said; get some perspective. So what, I called some children the c-word in a place that they or their mother won't ever see? There are people in the world that call children the c-word to their faces, and worse. it's one thing saying "bad form to call LOs the c-word" it's another to say that you're wondering how my language affects my own DC and that I am a lowlife.

I've never called you a lowlife or even mentioned your DC, I've been nothing but polite.

I know that YOU didn't personally. I know that some people will be offended by the c-word (see, can't even bring myself to type it out now that I'm not frothing with anger ) in whatever context but I do think I've had a disproportionate amount of stick for it.

Let's just agree to disagree. I don't think that on the grand scheme of things, what I said was that bad. Distasteful, possibly but we all have different realms of acceptability. You and others think it's simply terrible. Them's the breaks posting on a public forum, I suppose. We don't HAVE to subscribe to what others think is acceptible.

Elle, I know you were called bad things but the post that said you were a lowlife has been deleted - no one reading now would know that apart from you bringing it up again.

I know what you mean - wild extrapolation from what we've said in the heat of the moment is bloody irritating but a lot of people do it so I guess really you have to expect it (and the responses!)

I can't help but feel you are getting kicks out of the flamings you're getting though - you're enjoying setting the cat among the pigeons with your AIBUs, aren't you?

Heh heh.

Not sure which bothers me most; being judged as a mother by my behaviour on an online forum or being effectively called a troll

well I didn't mean that I thought you were a troll, frankly! My take on a troll is that they are liars - I don't think you are lying at all.

Sorry, I see my attempt at being jokey fell flat there so shan't bother again.

Ah ok, sorry. I thought trolls were idiots who enjoyed winding people up which is what I thought you were accusing me of. Crossed wires, sorry. Loads of my jokes have fallen flat too if it's any consolation

no probs. You didn't happen to work in the health service at some point did you? SOH can get a bit, I dunno, twisted from working in hospitals, I found.

I've always had a twisted SOH, if I'm perfectly honest. I don't know where I get it from. My parents like things like George and Mildred whilst only something as black as the Brass Eye paedophile special will get me laughing like a drain.

Awww Elle, you're sounding quite nice now

Well, I might be a bit biased, but I think I am nice. Sort of.

'Brass Eye paedophile special'

Oh...I posted before you said that lol (I actually love Brass Eye as well)

I don't see how you can't love it. Unless you're a himourless sourpuss. Like most MNers.

JOKE. Don't hit me!

am watching it on you tube!!!