to not invite my cousin and her little devils to DSs birthday party

[ElleBing]

Right, third AIBU in as many days. Here goes...

My DS is four in April and I am planning on a small party at home to save costs and because we only know about 7 LOs! I've had a party at home each year and each year, one of my cousins has let her three tearaways run riot through my house, pull my cat's tail, hit other kids, open the party food up before anyone said it could be opened and made DS cry by being little bulldogs.

This year, I am reluctant to invite them. My other cousin whose LO is very placid and lovely says that he probably won't come if the disruptive ones come because he'd end up losing his rag if they hit his LO again. Obviously, I don't want to make the people that I do want present feel like they don't want to come because the mini Reservoir Dogs are coming. My cousin isn;t the type of person you can say "please control your LOs" to. She just gets huffy and makes you feel like it's YOU with the problem. Basically, she feels like time at someone else's house is a break from her little shits and it's ok for them to run wild whilst she relaxes. But if I don't invite I KNOW I'll be talked about by sundry relatives. But I don't know if I'm past the age of caring what others think. it's my house, my DSs party. I can do what I like, right?

Agree with Agent Zigzag, calling your cousins children the c word is just out of order.

I can understand you not wanting them in the house if they are tearaways with no discipline but to call them that is dreadful.

This isn't hyperbole but I would challenge any of you to let them into your house for an hour and do their worst and NOT call them the c-word...

I'm not all mouth and no trousers...I accept your challenge elle

Do you have a crash helmet and lots of bubble-wrap for everything you don't want smashed into a million pieces?

Just don't ask them then. What's the big deal?

I wouldn't invite someone I didn't want. Easy.

My SIL is just the same, her little boys are a nightmare and seem set on destruction from the minute they walk in. I've estimated that each visit here costs me around £30 in breakages and she does nothing to stop them.
My DDs are really careful with their things and their toys are always complete and never broken and put away nicely - last time my SIL visited I closed the playroom door and put some larger more resilint toys in the living room, but they still found things to break. At lunch my SIL insited that they should have proper crokery instead of plastic and one of her boys(2 years old) picked up 2 Denby dinner plates and threw them on the floor with all his might - she smiled and said 'boys like to experiment with things to see what happens, they are real scientists!'.

Oh dear, Kittens. I would say that since your nephews are such intrepid scientists, why don't they see what happens when they run headlong into a wall?

JOKE.

Her older son set their kichen on fire when he was 8 with his scientific experiments and it still hasn't stopped her letting the younger boys do whatever they want. The middle boy cracked my mums lcd tv because he likes hitting things with whatever he can get hold of (it was a potato masher) and my SIL shurged that off and told my mum to claim on her insurance. My Brother told my mum it was her fault as she should have her TV wall mounted like they have to make sure the children can't reach it! My mums other 18 grandchildren have never done anything like that, but they still wouldn't see that their child may be at fault.

I really don't understand people who will not discipline their children as it sets the up to be outcasts from society. They are always the naughty ones at school and god help them when they want to get a job...

Why would you give small children Denby plates to eat off? It's nonsense to say your SIL insisted, just say no. I really do not get this allowing other people's children to run riot in your house.Regardless of whether the parents are ignoring them, I would not allow children to behave like that in my house. If you don't do anything to stop them, you are being lazy too.

OP I know it is a public forum and people can say what they like, but calling small children cunts???? That can never be justified IMO.

Kittens, I feel we must share a relative

Another example of how unreasonable my cousin is. When her eldest DS was 5 she insisted on buying a dog, despite the fact that he was already a little monster. So, she gets a dog because she wants one. The DS constantly tormented the poor dog, dog eventually bit him, dog gets put down. Fucking shocking.

KurriKurri, the c-word just ain't that shocking anymore. When a word gets said on television after 9pm on a regular basis, it loses its shock value. Plus, if someone is behaving like a cunt, they're behaving like a cunt. I am not ageist ergo kids and OAPS can BOTH be cunts.

Who could fail to be charmed by such egalitarianism Ellebing?

Well, exactly. No age, gender, race, creed nor species is safe from me labelling them a cunt.

If indeed they are a cunt, naturally.

My c**t behaves quite a bit better than this, I just sit on it most of the time. You can't behave like one.

I'm already the black sheep in my dads side of the family, and it was my DD 5th b/day party on sat and I never invited any of my familys LO's, even tho they go to the same school as my DD and know a few of their mutual friends came and they never, doesn't bother me. At the end of the day my house and my rules!

'the c-word just ain't that shocking anymore'

I'm not shocked by the word cunt, but I believe it's only acceptable language for everyday usage in certain circles, obviously the ones you move in? And you're on here slagging off your cousins standards??

Lol @ Kurri

Ellebing, you sound absolutely vile. I wouldn't come to your party.

abbierhodes Mon 29-Mar-10 19:34:07
Ellebing, you sound absolutely vile. I wouldn't come to your party.

Well, you wouldn't be invited so there

i feel really sorry for these 3 children, and i can not belive a full grown adult is using such words about them especially cunt .
as you have said the oldest is only 8.

if you don't want to invite these children then don't ......

but please don't call them names just because of the way they are being bought up

Actually, they probably behave lovely in other people's houses....just not yours.

They probably hate you & beg their mum not to make them visit your house - hence they misbehave in the hope they never have to go back again.

They probably see the folded arms & the cats arse mouth & decide to create merry hell.

Wouldn't be surprised if the OP sees her own offspring with rose tinted specs.

Foul mouthed, agressive and defensive, wonder if that's rubbed off on her dc!

OP, clearly you shouldn't invite these children if they are out of control and aggressive, however the way you describe them is quite revolting.

They are childen who haven't been brought up to know any better. Feel free to slag off the mother as much as you like, but calling small childen cunts is appalling.

Just out of interest elle, if you're still about, is everyone fair game in your cuntishness?

Would you call a baby that's screaming incessantly, perhaps because they're ill, a cunt? Or are they vulnerable so you wouldn't?

Or what about an older person who lashed out at you, perhaps because they had dementia? Or would you not call them a cunt because it wouldn't be their fault?

Thing is, I see children, all children, as vulnerable, who can't always help the way they behave unless they're told otherwise.

You know you could be that loving, caring relative these children feel they could turn to in what sounds like a disorganised world. There are plenty of adults who remember the positive impact a patient, and even boundary setting, adult had on their chaotic life.

There seems to be a theme here that three boys in a family cause problems. Is this the case, do you think?