to think my friend was rude for smoking drugs next to me

[bunnylicious]

Brief context...

I met up with some old friends I've known since school (we left school about 15 years ago).

As teenagers I suppose we used to smoke dope a bit, me less than others, was never that keen on it but didn't have a problem if other people chose to do it.

We all met up in a pub, we've stayed in touch but are scattered around the country so I don't see them often.

We were sitting in the (heated)garden of the pub and one of them decided to roll and smoke a big fat spliff. The garden was full of people, bar staff in and out collecting glasses.

I asked my friend not to smoke it nex tto me, it made me really comfortable him doing it in public, plus he knows I work for the police now and I didn't exactly want to be involved if someone called the police (I'm not a police officer, by the way).

Anyway, he refused and sat there blatantly smoking it so I ended up moving inside to another part of the pub. One friend came in to keep me company and the rest just sat with him and acted as though I was over-reacting.

As I say, I don't much care if people smoke dope, but I just think he could have been more considerate.

AIBU?

(disclaimer - I had no idea he was likely to do that, having not seen him for years)

"had lit up next to her and that she'd told him that the smell of fags had bothered her and he'd carried on she'd have had a plethora of YANBU's"

sorry i think that is bollocks. unless pregnant maybe. her problem, she can move. much as i hate smoking, people are allowed - fags or spliffs - to indulge as they please.

"people are allowed - fags or spliffs - to indulge as they please."

Sure they are, if you don't take a little thing like the law into account.

What a selfish lot you are. The mate could have delayed their pleasure for a couple of hours, causing them no real harm at all. But they'd rather risk their friend's professional reputation than they do that.

They clearly know they were in the wrong too, given the content of the email.

Nice to know you're all so relaxed about illegal drugs, I'm sure some of you wouldn't care at all if your DC smoked drugs in public places going on what you've all said.

well i wouldn't go that far helloooooo, but this was an adult situation with lots of other adults present that didn't mind, so it was perfectly reasonable for the OP to move, given her job status, although she felt that he was being inconsiderate and was annoyed. Was it really a big deal to just move for the duration of the spliff - smoking? And then return - everyone is a winner. The friend may not have felt he was wrong per se, but could perhaps tell she was annoyed and thus emailed her.

Sorry ruby, I didn't mean a four year old smoking pot!!

I meant if this were your DC as an adult, in an adult situation doing something illegal in public would you be completely relaxed with it?

yes, totally. i'd rather him (future dc ) have an open social smoke in public than behind closed doors in a covert manner.

obviously it is illegal and it sounds like in some places it is more illegal than others iykwim, but imo driving something relatively harmless like smoking pot underground does alot more harm than good. tbh i'd rather any future dcs smoke the odd spliff than get plastered every weekend/weekday and do untold damage to themselves. not that i've not done that .

Even as a smoker, I think YANBU. By smoking dope in the pub garden, with you, he's taking away your choices and impinging on your evening out. If it was just a fag, then fair enough, but smoking dope in a pub garden is ludicrous teenage posturing.

Totally agree Pikelit.

Potheads are selfish knobends ime anyway.

ruby, I'm sorry, but you are deluded. It is illegal EVERYWHERE. Perhaps you will get away with it behind the bike sheds, or in the park, but to openly smoke weed in a public space, which is strictly bound by licencing laws is just plain bloody disrespectful.

It doesn't matter whether we disagree with the law or not, until it changes, it is illegal. And quite frankly, any twat who thinks its cool to smoke weed in a pub garden, and endanger the publicans licence as well as risk arrest and the ruin of their companions careers, is a twat so not worth knowing.

madame is that so [onfused]? i know landlords of various pubs / cafes that openly allow it . in various parts of london, it was unofficially decriminalised for five years or so to see what happened. the police agreed to do nothing with the small fry and concentrate on the bigger fish out there... if people got caught with a spliff or a small amount for personal use, they got a caution, nothing more.

I am reliably informed that this has been a total disaster as an official strategy, and you might also have seen really quite a long time ago that the police are cracking down (no pun intended) on possession which is still illegal.

also, you might well get a caution the first time, but the second time you WILL be arrested.

Openly allowing drug taking is in direct contravention of the licencing act and if discovered will result in losing their licence. In which case they are fools to themselves. Landlords who allow dealing and use under their noses are not going to be treated the same as a twat with a spliff.

And for those of you who think, oh chillax, unless you grow your own, you have no idea that your happy little spliff has quite probably been part of a vicious drug gangs business, whose operation is destroying the lives of a whole section of society.

ok, you're clearly the authority on th subject. i stand corrected.

This is why I love MN!

Organic food only, no McDonalds, you] take offence at mostly everything, teacers can do no right...

BUT- we feel sorry for child murderers and hey whats wrong with smoking a nasty stinking spliff in a pub beer garden?

I am generalising I know and please forgive me those MNetters who have a balanced normal head on their shoulders. But come on, some of you must be right arrogant fools in real life.

And what's worse is people like you probably don't get into trouble for being illegal drug users... but you know if it was a working class or "chav" group of people sat smoking on a park bench whilst you and little Florence in her sling walked past then it would be a whole different matter wouldn't it?

oh come on ruby, I couldn't care less about what people put in their bodies, but don't delude yourself that using an illegal drug doesn't make you complicit in the criminal activity that provides it. Its not nice, its not benign.

"The criminal activity that provides it" can hardly be blamed on the user, of course, since it is there only because the said activity is designated "criminal".

come on yourself madame! if smoking weed wasn't illegal, there wouldn't be a black market for it, and therefore the underworld wouldn't benefit from it!

basically wot CoteDAzur said.

fine decriminilise it whatever. But until then, its illegal, and by buying illegal drugs you support an illegal and deeply unpleasant community.

and to be perfectly honest, if you can justify supporting a criminal business that deals in guns and intimidation then you need to examine your values.

It becomes very real when your neighbours shoot each other over drugs territory.