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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think my friend was rude for smoking drugs next to me

94 replies

bunnylicious · 22/03/2010 17:30

Brief context...

I met up with some old friends I've known since school (we left school about 15 years ago).

As teenagers I suppose we used to smoke dope a bit, me less than others, was never that keen on it but didn't have a problem if other people chose to do it.

We all met up in a pub, we've stayed in touch but are scattered around the country so I don't see them often.

We were sitting in the (heated)garden of the pub and one of them decided to roll and smoke a big fat spliff. The garden was full of people, bar staff in and out collecting glasses.

I asked my friend not to smoke it nex tto me, it made me really comfortable him doing it in public, plus he knows I work for the police now and I didn't exactly want to be involved if someone called the police (I'm not a police officer, by the way).

Anyway, he refused and sat there blatantly smoking it so I ended up moving inside to another part of the pub. One friend came in to keep me company and the rest just sat with him and acted as though I was over-reacting.

As I say, I don't much care if people smoke dope, but I just think he could have been more considerate.

AIBU?

(disclaimer - I had no idea he was likely to do that, having not seen him for years)

OP posts:
bunnylicious · 22/03/2010 19:12

junglist I know people who are PCs who do far worse than that.

But not in public.

OP posts:
mehdismummy · 22/03/2010 19:14

smoking weed? is that it? god years before i had ds i loved a good smoke and have been known to smoke outside!!!! i dont think the police would be that interested in someone smoking a spliff personally, maybe the police have real crimes to investigate!!! so yabu

bunnylicious · 22/03/2010 19:16

I'm probably just paranoid after watching my friend be arrested in the street smoking a spliff in front of an off duty police officer.

He was arrested and charged.

Some police officers are actually quite diligent, even off duty.

OP posts:
rasputin · 22/03/2010 19:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mehdismummy · 22/03/2010 19:18

your friend must have got arrested by an anti weed policeman!!! seriously arresting someone for smoking a spliff when they were off duty? your poor friend!

bunnylicious · 22/03/2010 19:21

mehdi - if it wasn't so awful it would have been funny.

He was walking down the street with his girlfriend, smoking a spliff. The girlfriend used to be a nanny for the policeman and she actually stopped him to have a chat. Then he said, "excuse me, I just need to arrest your friend" and took him off to the police station!!!!

OP posts:
SouthMum · 22/03/2010 19:22

Why are you paranoid? Your friend was smoking it, not you. You wouldn't have got into trouble.

Although paranoia is a side effect of smoking weed, it might have got in your system....

mehdismummy · 22/03/2010 19:23

pmsl!! oh no bunny the shame of it!! fancy stopping to talk to an off duty policeman when yor friend is smoking! i bet the girl was mortified!!!!

DuelingFanjo · 22/03/2010 19:23

[Grin] at RubyBuckleberry

mehdismummy · 22/03/2010 19:24

the eating a whole tub of ben and jerrys was my problem!!!

LittleSilver · 22/03/2010 20:12

I would have done the same as you OP. Yanbu

RubyBuckleberry · 23/03/2010 07:58

arrested and charged by an off duty for smoking in the street - diligent? total waste of police resources, more likely! wouldn't happen in london, surely. in the country? we had TWO police cars come to the local indian for suspected theft of a pepperpot ! gave us a lift home though .

jennyslinger · 23/03/2010 08:15

YABU for one single thing = being a drama queen.

How hard was it to pop to the bar or put £1 in a jukebox? it wasn't around kids and it was in an adult situation and outside.

You say 'big fat spliff' - if it was that big everybody would be able to smell it and obviously didn't care... I suspect it wasn't as obvious as you make out.

LadyintheRadiator · 23/03/2010 08:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BariatricObama · 23/03/2010 08:22

dopeheads are terrific bores. it was all a bit of a giggle occassionally but professional spliffers are just tragic.

PavlovtheCat · 23/03/2010 08:24

YANBU for not wanting to be near him. Your choice. Or ask him to not do it near you. But you are unreasonable for giving a toss that he refused. You moved, all fine.

I work closely with the police, in a job that would fire me immediately if i was taking drugs. But, the odd friend of mine smokes weed. And sometimes when I am present, and it is their choice. I don't smoke it, they don't offer, no harm done. If they get caught by the police, it will have no bearing on my job as they will need even bother to ask my my profession, they would not be interested in me.

Kathyjelly · 23/03/2010 08:32

YANBU. You asked him not to, he was just rude. But you say you don't see them very often so it doesn't matter much.

Maybe you're just growing out of your friend.

thesecondcoming · 23/03/2010 08:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StepSideways · 23/03/2010 08:50

sounds like you need to just chill out a bit.. wait I know just the thing

bunnylicious · 23/03/2010 08:51

Thanks all.

Just got an email from him this morning apologising for being "pissed, stupid and rude".

But thanks anyway!

OP posts:
BariatricObama · 23/03/2010 08:52

thats nice bunny! alls well that ends well

Dogandbone · 23/03/2010 09:22

I don't think he was rude, I think he was very foolish to do something illegal in public. Other people could have objected, the publican could have got in trouble. You could all have ended up barred from all the pubs in the town if they are taking part in Drugwatch. I wouldn't dare, under any circumstances, to smoke a joint in public. I am quite surprised that most of the replies are not focussed on this bit.

I don't mind anyone smoking joints but if they do it in public then they have a fairly cavalier attitude to risk.

5DollarShake · 23/03/2010 09:41

Slarty - what on earth has smoking a roll-up got to do with anything?

mumdrivenmad · 23/03/2010 10:18

If there was a possiblity that you would lose your job if you took drugs, then you should realise that you can get enough on your system from passive smoking to be able to show up in a urine test!!! Think of that before thinking they are being unreasonable.

thedollshouse · 23/03/2010 10:21

YANBU. I think it is rude for someone to smoke an ordinary cigarette when they are sat next to someone who isn't smoking. He sounds very immature.

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