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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

stopping my kids going to a Catholic Church

576 replies

jennyslinger · 17/03/2010 22:57

I know religion is contentious so I'd like to say up front that I am a confirmed atheist and my DH is a confirmed catholic. This is not about the rights or wrongs of believing in god.

DH wants DS and DD (when she's 4yo) to go to our local Cathocis church to attend sunday school and get involved with other church activities.

I have read so much over the last few years about the child abuse cover-up in the Catholic Church. For this reason I have told DH and his family that the kids will not be going.

DH says I am fussing over nothing.

I asked DH he knew a nursery had covered up child abuse would he be happy with the kids going. He says this is not the same.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
glastocat · 19/03/2010 19:58

Mind you, I wouldn't have married a believer.

LadyLapsang · 19/03/2010 20:02

Haven't read all the thread but if your children were baptised into the Catholic church presumably you stood up a promised that they would be brought up in the faith or - if you did not attend the service - presumably you agreed to your husband arranging the baptism. Baptism is a promise to your children, I think your husband should be praised for keeping his promise to bring them up in the faith.

My DH did not share my faith so my DS is not baptised although he sometimes attends church, reads the lesson etc. and has always been educated at a church school. It made me really sad that my DH and I got married in church and then he wouldn't allow DS to be baptised.

LynetteScavo · 19/03/2010 20:12

AS I understand it, when you have a Catholic marriage, you agree to raise your DC in the Catholic faith.

I'm presuming the OP didn't have a Catholic wedding (I didn ask, but I don't think she answered) so her DH won't be able to take communion. Which is a bit of a shame for her DH, I would imagine.

So by not allowing the DC to attend Sunday school the OP will not allow them to take FHC, or confirmation.

But presumabley, she felt they weren't at risk of abuse during the Baptism.

IMO, they would be at no more risk of abuse during Sunday school classes.

Yes, abuse has taken place and it has been handled extremly badly, but that doesn't mean every aspect of the Catholic church is rotton.

mrsblueskys · 19/03/2010 20:14

Sorry Glastocat not meaning to get personal but "mind you i wouldn't have married a believer" i thought your main problem was with the organisation of the catholic church and the dispicable cover up of child abuse, of which noone is denying, now you are implying that your problem is with the faith?

glastocat · 19/03/2010 20:20

Nope. I have many problems with the Catholic church as I have already said. I disagree with their stance on contraception, women priests ( or lack thereof), abortion and homosexuality. So I would never have married someone who disagreed with me on these issues. In fact I would never have married anyone of any religion, as I think its all a load of bollocks. Its not to difficult to understand really.

glastocat · 19/03/2010 20:23

too

mrsblueskys · 19/03/2010 20:33

i guess we are all different, i would find it very difficult to tell a person i met that what they believe is all bollocks, whether i believe it or not, i try and keep an open mind and learn from it. You must be quite satisfied to have it all so set in your mind.

glastocat · 19/03/2010 20:44

Well I usually put it more diplomatically. . But sometimes I've had to be firmer, with my mother in law for example. I was polite as anything for many years, until I was dragged to the priest under false pretences, then the gloves came off I'm afraid. You see, I don't believe that Catholics have any right to inflict their opinions on me, but if they insist on forcing their beliefs on me, well, I will argue back. You see, I'm just as satisfied in my non-belief, as any Catholic person is in their belief.

However, I do find that my less observant friends are usually well up for a robust debate, thank god. I've even got some of the hatch match and despatch brigade to admit that they are hypocrites, which does make me laugh.

daftpunk · 19/03/2010 20:48

glastocat;

You have just said that you don't believe catholics have any right to inflict their opinions on you.....what opinions are they inflicting on you..?

Tortington · 19/03/2010 20:48

we are making the heathens belive in god innit

mrsblueskys · 19/03/2010 20:52

I wonder if you have ever admitted that you are a hypocrit in your life, or that you may quite possibly be wrong about something? you dont want catholics preaching to you ( i dont think anyone likes to be preached at, so i am with you there) and yet you seem to be doing a fair share of preaching and letting everyone else know how wrong they are on this thread when they dont agree with you.

daftpunk · 19/03/2010 20:55

And glastocat...

Do you believe that homosexulas have a right to inflict their opinions on me...?

daftpunk · 19/03/2010 20:55

Do you actually have a clue about anything...?

glastocat · 19/03/2010 20:58

daftpunk, my mother in law for a start has tried for fouteen years to inflict her opinions on me. It took ten years for me to crack, and tell her to back off. And as I have also already said, I had to argue my way out of standing up as a godmother, even though my BIL and SIL know I'm an atheist.

And of course I have been a hypocrite in my life, but I try my damnedest not to be. And I'm not preaching to anyone, just putting my point of view, like everyone else on this thread.

daftpunk · 19/03/2010 21:00

Do you think homosexuals have a right to inflict their opinions on me...?

I only need a one word answer..

yes or no..?

LeninGrad · 19/03/2010 21:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

daftpunk · 19/03/2010 21:02

What law..?

glastocat · 19/03/2010 21:03

daftpunk, unless there is a homosexual forcing you to have sex with them, I don't think their sexuality is any of your business. And if you discriminate against them I think you are wrong, and I know many catholics who would agree with me on this, and would find your views abhorrent. I'll ignore the pointless ad hominem attack, can't you play the ball and not the man?

LeninGrad · 19/03/2010 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeninGrad · 19/03/2010 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkfizzle · 19/03/2010 21:05

daftpunk I'm afraid you are being very true to the first part of your name - your homophobia is very daft

glastocat · 19/03/2010 21:05

daftpunk, have you stopped beating your husband?

yes or no?

daftpunk · 19/03/2010 21:08

What are you on about glastocat...?

You said 5 minutes ago that you don't want catholics forcing opinions on you....catholics do not force anything on you..

Homosexuals on the other hand expect us to change everything to please them.....they are trying to force their lifestyle on us.. and you think that is ok...

And you wonder why I think you're talking shite..?

LeninGrad · 19/03/2010 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BattyKoda · 19/03/2010 21:09

I have to say, I quite admire DaftPunk in a way. She's like a little one man band (with a screw loose) marching her way through MN, completley oblivious to the fact that no ever (thankfully) listens to (or agrees with) her.

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