stopping my kids going to a Catholic Church

[jennyslinger]

I know religion is contentious so I'd like to say up front that I am a confirmed atheist and my DH is a confirmed catholic. This is not about the rights or wrongs of believing in god.

DH wants DS and DD (when she's 4yo) to go to our local Cathocis church to attend sunday school and get involved with other church activities.

I have read so much over the last few years about the child abuse cover-up in the Catholic Church. For this reason I have told DH and his family that the kids will not be going.

DH says I am fussing over nothing.

I asked DH he knew a nursery had covered up child abuse would he be happy with the kids going. He says this is not the same.

Am I being unreasonable?

I know that - it's why I warned DS that I wouldn't attend any christening/baptism if he and his DP had it done to their DS. But I only understand that the vows are serious because I'm lapsed religious, if you'd never had any beliefs or involvement in a church, why would you know - or even care?

Maybe the OP was raised C of E and has a far more woolly concept of what 'raising a child in a religion' might entail?

Well, I'm not Jewish and know very little about their faith, but I wouldn't dream of standing up in a Synagogue and promising publicly to raise my child in the Jewish faith. You don't have to know about the religion in question to know that is wrong.

swanandduck totally agree. It's not possible to misunderstand what you're signing up for. There's always a c.90 minute baptism preparation class at which it is clearly explained what you're committing to and then you publicly declare this in plain English.
OldLadyKnowsNothing maybe the OP should have thought more clearly about the consequences of 'going along' with something that serious and then backing out. Surely that has resulted in more upset for her husband?

Maybe I don't think that 'That standing up in a Church and lying is wrong' - its all pretend anyway. You make up a god, I pretend to give a toss about some promise to that made-up god.

I'm talking about child abuse. Think of the children!

swanandduck, why would the OP need to be Catholic to feel pressured into christening? As I said above I am not Catholic, and yet came under an enormous amount of pressure to christen my child. My MIL kicked off about it so much that in the end I agreed to talk to her priest about it. When I went to see him we found out she had lied to us all and told him that we were interested in coming back to the church! Anyway, he told me that I'd make a good Quaker, which was pretty funny.

As for christenings being more like a party than a sacrament, that is certainly my experience. My sister in law calls herself a catholic, yet never goes to mass, and has christened both her children having a massive piss up in the pub afterwards. They asked my husband to be a Godparent, even when he pointed out that he doesn't believe in god! Its the Irish way, and I see the OPs husband is Irish. Its a shame she didn't put her foot down earlier, it would have saved aher a lot of grief.

Jenny to be honest I think you're a troll. You weren't just 'standing up in a Church' you were making a declaration in front of your friends and family. You were lying to every single one of them. That's why the whole bl**dy thing is carried out in front of an audience.
Really, do you tell your DH what you think about his 'made-up god'. And did you not think to talk about all of this before you got married and had children?
I think the child abuse stuff is irrelevant, it's all smoke and mirrors to conceal your contempt for something that your DH feels very strongly about.

...and now you're Helen Lovejoy ?

Well, I'm Irish and I know that practising Catholics over there are fed up with non -believers hijacking religious sacraments (Christenings, First Communions, etc) and turning them into showy parties and booze ups. It is wrong and, jennyslinger, did you come on here with a genuine query or just to slag off the Church as your posts are becoming increasingly offensive and I am now wondering what the motive behind your original post was.

__
/ Trip trap \

Thought so waaay back in the thread.

This is actually a hairy trucker from Brighton.

glasto that's the whole point of such preparation sessions, to check that you're up for and totally agree to what's going to happen.
I'm not pretending it's easy. I felt under an enormous amount of pressure to get married in a Catholic church but I wasn't prepared to agree to bringing my kids up as catholics which is part of the service. By saying this and not meaning it I would have felt I was making a mockery of the entire marriage ceremony.

I feel that there is a lot of Catholic bashing going on here. The Catholic religion is not the only religion who is anti homophobic why dont you question other religions OP, or to ask for a percentage of your wage? What linkis with criminality geese where do you get this information from. OP if you felt this way about the Catholic church why did you marry a Catholic, especially one where religion is important?

You seem to be projecting what my DH feels about god - I've said nothing but he's a confirmed Catholic. He says his catholic as does most other Irish - Catholism in Ireland is a social structure. Your Catholic or Protestant.

We had a batizsm because that's what Irish catholic families want - and yes it is all about the craic.

I am now putting my foot down - they are not going anywhere near an organization that systematically covers up child abuse as part of their childhood education and socialization.

Thanks everybody for their help on making this point even more clear in my mind.

And you seem to be projecting what Irish Catholics feel.
Anyway, you should be talking to your dh, not us. He is the one you have deceived.

....yet your husband evidently has sufficient regard for Catholicism to want his children to be active members of the Church. So presumably he believes in god or he wouldn't be bothering? Or is it an excuse for some more parties?

Batty I can't speak for every Catholic school but mine made no mention of homosexuality.

Well you should have thought about that earlier op. If when they are older they want to go back to the Church than its up to them, you cannot control them forever! For you and other atheists its a made up god, but for Christians and for those of other faiths (Jewish,Muslim) it is very real indeed and its just insulting really.

I think it's incredibly offensive that there are people on here defending an organisation that covers up child abuse, but that is just my opinion.

Can anyone please answer my question....Do Catholic schools teach that homosexuality is wrong??

As swan suggests it's impossible to make blanket statements about groups like Irish Catholics.
I can't quite get over the fact that you're whittering on about Institutionalised deception of the Catholic Church, whilst admitting you yourself lied to a roomful of people.

Catholic schools teach that all sex outside marriage is wrong.

Thanks pamplem0usse... x posts! Made no mention of it at all?

Just wanted to add that I was asked to be a godparent too, despite my atheism, and only wriggled out of it when I told them I wasn't christened myself, which disqualified me.

Do they regard a civil partnership as marriage swanandduck?

None at all. And this was a School that cut pages of sex organs out of biology text books lest we be led astray....