to ask employer for childcare costs?

[starkadder]

Just about to start a new job - part time. There's a conference I'd like to go to (would be good for my employers if I did) but I spent half the day every day looking after DS. DH works 8-2 so I start work when he gets in.

Anyway, I've suggested it to them but have said I'd need to pay out an extra 50quid/day to get a childminder for each day I'd be gone. I'd obviously be at the conference full time, so to speak, so they'd be getting more for their money in terms of salary anyway.

Now I am not sure if this is reasonable or not. I was thinking of it as a travel expense - just like the airline ticket/sandwich in the airport, etc. But AIBU? Has anyone else ever asked their employer for something like this?

BTW I work part time which works out to be a pipe dream but I make it clear if you're getting me for free it's on my terms - totally

that sounds like the bank person I know, edge

your employer may be able to claim as an expense (tax deductabe)
i'm self employed and can put my childcare through as an expense.

But surely if you're doing extra work, on top of your normal hours, the Part time/ Full time thing is irrelevant! Fair enough, ask to be paid for the extra hours you're doing, but childcare? I think not!

Not much help now, but for future reference - I find that mentioning pre-booked holidays before signing a contract is the best way. Every person, including your new employer, would have been in that situation before, and being open about future commitments means that there are no shocks (i.e. leave during annual audit etc) ahead.

Actually, I've been asked whether I had any pre-booked holidays in previous final interviews, so it's not all your fault that this only comes up now.

Plan of action? Be honest. Say that you have a holiday prebooked from xxx to xxx. If any others booked already, make sure everyone aware of them too. Don't offer to cancel immediately, but be careful not to appear arrogant.

From your latest posts, I'm concerned that your and your employer's expectations might not exactly match, and if that is the case, it is something that you might want to clarify before it becomes an issue later.

pointy, we're all the same although latest 'banker' bonuses would pay for first 15 mins of this weeks childcare - so now it's all public hate and no cash - ho hum

It was relevant insofar that is often much easier to get free childcare in the evenings (partner, friends, family) than during the day.

And my employers would definitely not pay me any extra. So I was left asking to claim childcare.

public hate isn't so bad, you know. You learn to let it wash over you. I should know, I'm in teh public sector now

Ah well you're next then - I'll send you my sack cloth in the post..

greenfanta - are you sure you can claim childcare as an expense? how? I'm self-employed and thought you couldn't.

I am in private sector, always have been.

I pay for childcare for a normal working week.

Still don't see why we shouldn't ask for recompense for childcare costs if asked/expected to work outside of normal contracted hours/terms.

Thanks MisSal. I have - I've told them, and have asked them if they'd prefer me to come to the first 2 days of the meeting only, or attend by teleconference. If they now say they'd really prefer me to cancel my holiday, I guess I'll deal with that when I get to it.

I think you're right that the expectations don't exactly match but I do have faith that they're reasonable - and I think (!) I am too...I guess it will take a few weeks to get to know each other...

I have my own hessian shirt, thank you

itsmeitsmeolord - do you mean that you could/would claim for evening working?

Only it has only just struck me reading this that although I feel 100% entitled to claim for days when I am not being paid to work, evenings I sort out myself - in that DH covers, or my DM does - so for example I did a customer dinner last night and stayed over (because I would have been home for all of 4 hours if I had come home) - and I wouldn't dream of asking for TOIL/childcare costs for that - but the fact that I worked today (which should have been my day off) means yet another day of TOIL over Easter.

Strikes me there's a whole bundle of free work going on! Stealth definately would 'claim' for that - never claim hour for hour myself but certainly leave no doubt that have done xx for free this month and then just say having afternoon off instead of claiming 20 hours is that okay. not been refused yet. (and still well thought off/ highly rated etc so not affecting their opinion)

Quite a lot of bankers are in the public sector now, you know.

Pointy, some of my best friends are in the public sector. Sheesh, see how liberal I am? I even married someone in the public sector ...

Quite alot on scrap heap too - probably for claiming too much time back think public sector too hard for those of us who obviously can't add up..

edgeofreason - there is where you run into what is the 'norm' - no-one in my industry works their contracted 37.5 hours - I am still working now inbetween MNing, DH is sat opposite me working, and that is not unusual for us (sad though it may be) - and I will find a number of my colleagues online aswell. Interestingly we are being driven to report our time more accurately ATM - and a 50-60 hour week would not be unusual - since I work 80% of full time about 40 hours is my average.

So as a part-time worker I don't expect any special treatment - except that I will claim something in return for days that I end up working for which I am not paid.

The flip side is that if DH or I need to finish work at 3pm occasionally, or take a couple of hours out to go to a school play, we don't even ask - we just do it.

TOIL? What is this TOIL of which you speak? We don't get it where we are - we just have to work the hours it takes in return for a fabled progression to dizzying heights of super-power. Unfortunately in my particular role, the possibilities for attaining those dizzying heights are very slight so I get the downsides without the benefits.

This is an interesting discussion - I would probably have asked to be paid the additional hours but not mentioned the childcare but as you say OP, the pay would be much more than the childcare. I work in such a male-dominated industry where most of the men have SAHPs that mentioning any childcare headaches basically means you don't get taken that seriously unfortunately. Which is a bit shit but that's life I guess

I don't see public sector as being liberal. And yes, sometimes I do lose a sense of humour on this one.

LadyBiscuit TOIL is an illusion which makes me feel better - so I have booked a week off during DS's Easter holiday, which consists entirely of TOIL accrued since the beginning of this year (which means that there have already been 4 weeks in which I have worked 5 days instead of 4) - but in fact there is almost no chance I will use all my holiday this year, and I cannot carry it over or get paid for it - so I have in fact worked those days for free - I am just putting off for a few months acknowledging that fact .

That is pants Stealth. Still, thanks for making me feel better

Stealth loving the illusion - I feel sooo good when I have an early finish to compensate for the 20 free hours I've worked - must be something they put in the water to keep me deluded. Still kids will have good work ethic although DD 2 walks around with calculator like it's a BBerry which can't be all that good.

until recently I worked in the ngo sector in a job that involved some travel. if you incurred extra childcare costs - ie over and above your normal costs, as a result of being away you could claim them. it was standard, applied to both men and women and, given that you didn;t get over-time, wholly reasonable.

I am going to bed now but..this conversation has taken an interesting turn.

Before I had DS, I worked stupid hours, and would never have asked for time off in lieu or extra money. The very thought would have made me harrumph sardonically.

However, that was a question of me donating my mere time to my company.

When I went back after mat. leave, I arranged to be p.t. and took a big pay cut as a result. I resolved there and then to stick resolutely to my hours - why accept a pay cut to do 25 hrs a week if you then end up doing 60 just the same?

I also now have to stick to my hours because the hours I am not working in my paid employment, I am looking after DS. And I mean every hour - until he's in bed - DH and I both work slightly more than 50% which means that neither of us get a break. We swap shifts during DS's nap so sometimes DH gets a little break then, if the nap goes on longer than usual. But he gets up at 630 so fair dos.

Anyway, this means that I have had to be a lot stricter with myself - my time is precious and I'm not prepared to give it away for free - mostly because I actually physically can't (I don't know how many of you have tried the conference call with toddler combo. I don't recommend it).

I'll be as flexible as I can for my employers because I do genuinely try to be a reasonable employee. But the reality of being a parent is that my 2 year old is not very flexible - and that's life - and I think enlightened employers realise that. I don' think it should be career suicide to mention the childcare word. I think those posters who said I should be ashamed of myself for having asked are wrong - why should we be ashamed?? We have children, we look after them, and we work too. It isn't - or shouldn't be - THAT strange or revolutionary.

Right...definitely bed time...