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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my neighbour should give them back?

114 replies

Tiredmumno1 · 17/03/2010 10:54

Right i just needed some advice and whether anyone has been in this situation. Months before the end of last year my kids had kicked a few balls (by accident) into our neighbours jungle/rubbish tip garden, but havent thrown them back, even though i asked, i am so sick of it. There is no point in knocking again they never answer the bloody door. Surely this is theft. wwyd.

OP posts:
TottWriter · 17/03/2010 10:57

I'd get a ladder and go and retrieve them, but I'm a bit of a rebel myself. Possibly not a good idea depending on what they're like.

Are the balls still out there in the garden? If they've been taken inside, then yes, that's technically theft, but it's of such a petty nature I doubt you could actually do anything other than write the balls off.

Original poster
Tiredmumno1 · 17/03/2010 11:00

Funny you should ask i cant actually see them, but i was only wound up as one was a chessington ball, so cant replace unless we go back. And one of the others was hubbys proper football that he wanted back

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 17/03/2010 11:07

YANBU to want them back, but I am puzzled that you have waited so long if they were kicked over before the end of last year.

Original poster
Tiredmumno1 · 17/03/2010 11:21

I have tried i asked on a couple of occasions when i managed to bump into them, like i said they dont answer the door. And i had been keeping an eye to see if i could see any which i could definitely see one but now it has vanished, its just got right on my nerves, i mean it was an accident i did apologise, why are people like this

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 17/03/2010 11:28

Just go over and get them! We have a similiar neighbour and eldest ds will climb over.......

He did at the weekend, her car was parked round the back so he used bumper for a foothold and damaged it even more....... It was hanging off, but looked quite damaged anyway...... I told him not to worry as she's a banned druggie driver anyway, she drives it regardless. If she calls police then fine!!!!

Wrong attitude I know, but she is a nightmare neighbour

Original poster
Tiredmumno1 · 17/03/2010 11:37

Agghh they are so frustrating, that sounds awful threeblonde boys, some neighbours are just wretched, i would send ds over but there is always someone in during the day, and it is a bloody obstacle course over there

OP posts:
FabIsDoingPrettyWell · 17/03/2010 11:40

Climb over and get the back yourself.

emsyj · 17/03/2010 11:45

YABU. It's not one ball, kicked by accident, you say it's 'a few balls'. The neighbours are probably sick of listening to the noise of the football getting kicked (do they kick it against the neighbour's fence by any chance??) and getting balls kicked over the fence into their garden. It's not theft. They're just fed up with it. Take them to the park to play football in future - no more lost balls, everyone's happy.

Original poster
Tiredmumno1 · 17/03/2010 11:54

Emsyj, they are bloody kids and erm thats why we have a garden kind of defeats the object if we have to take them out all the time, so whats the point in having a garden, my kids are only young, my eldest has sn and at that point we were teaching him that it is wrong to do it, i know maybe i should barricade them indoors. Oh these also happened to be the neighbours that tried nicking our bin too.

OP posts:
LisaD1 · 17/03/2010 11:54

I can't believe how many of you think it's ok to just go and help yourself?! I'm not sure of the legalities of the balls BUT if you climb into your neighbours garden, uninvited, you will be tresspassing.

If it were ONE ball I may say yanbu to be annoyed but it's a FEW balls, maybe your neighbours are fed up with your kids kicking balls into THEIR garden?

emsyj · 17/03/2010 12:01

Everyone is entitled to enjoy their garden, but not at the expense of their neighbours. I'm sure if your next door neighbours had a weekly BBQ and created lots of noise whilst your DCs were trying to sleep, it would piss you off. A bit of courtesy is all that's required.

My mum lives next door to a family with 3 young children and they make a lot of noise in the garden. She loves to hear them play and have a good time and always says there's nothing more lovely than hearing children laugh etc, but even she draws the line at the football being kicked at the fence and has been known to not throw balls back that have been kicked over. The constant THUD is enough to drive anyone mad.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 17/03/2010 12:04

Agree - the point of you having a garden is to use it but not to be a nuisance. 'A few balls' is a nuisance to your neighbour. Once you lost the first couple, I think you should have realised/accepted that the garden is not the place for this kind of play.

Most gardens are too small for football play. You need to take your kids to the park so they can kick a ball around.

It's not kick balls OR barricade them indoors, they can play other stuff in the garden.

claricebeansmum · 17/03/2010 12:08

In our old house this became a nuisance. Next door's boys constantly throwing balls and all sorts into the garden. I would collect them up and throw them back. If the kids were in the garden they would throw them straight back over.

In the end I kept everything and returned it to them in bin bags at regular intervals - including the bricks...

I don't mind the odd occasional ball/shuttlecock/chicken but a few is a few too many IMO.

It does not matter that you think their garden is a tip. To them it might be a wildlife haven then the flying boys are destroying

lal123 · 17/03/2010 12:14

In our last house the wee boy next door was constantly kicking his balls over our fence- it was a bloody nuisance! I was always throwing the blessed things back, only to find them back over our side 5 minutes later. Eventually he started to come round and get them himself - but could never open our garden gate so I still needed to go out and open it for him. It really got on my tits!

OtterInaSkoda · 17/03/2010 12:24

"It's not kick balls OR barricade them indoors" - exactly.

I suspect they've kept the balls because they're pissed off with hearing the thump, thump, thump against their fence. It would annoy me, too. Or perhaps they're miserable bastards who cannot be arsed to throw them over. In a way it's irrelevant. They don't want to throw the balls back - you need to find somewhere else for the dcs to play ball.

mnistooaddictive · 17/03/2010 12:27

I agree with amny others. If you have had to ,isten to the noise of balls being continually kicked against your fence for hours on end yuou wouldn't throw them back either. If you restrict them to a limited amount of time each day your neighbours will be more likely to return them.

ClaireDeLoon · 17/03/2010 12:32

I get this - the thump thump thump against the fence, my parents were visiting last summer and I made a lovely lunch and we sat down at the garden table to eat and the thump thump thump started.

And I throw the balls back if I'm in the garden but it does get very very irritating when they're kicked over all the time - I sometimes wonder if they're trying to get the cats/break plant pots etc?

OhYouBadBadKitten · 17/03/2010 12:35

I am driven utterly and constantly batty by the neighbours constantly kicking the ball against our fence. The noise drives me insane and I don't like the damage it is doing - we paid for it.

The Ball comes over several times a week in the summer, sometimes deliberately it has started already. the kids knock for it and expect it back immediately.

The garden is my refuge in what is a stressful life and their ball damages my plants. I put an awful lot of work into my garden. I've tried fencing off new precious ones but it does no good.

Neighbours don't care, they have no respect and it really really upsets me.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 17/03/2010 12:41

I agree with limiting the time. It seems so thoughtless not to - I never have DS playing in the garden after 7pm, and I wouldn't have him out there for literally hours; I'm always thinking of neighbours and think they are entitled to some quiet time as much as we are entitled to our garden. It's just some consideration for others, acknowledging that others are important too.

Original poster
Tiredmumno1 · 17/03/2010 12:44

They wouldnt be able to even have a bbq the gardens a fecking health hazard.
Fuck it i will just ask one of the policemen who walk round here to have words. So if u think the noise pisses them off. What the fuck is the reason for stealing the bin, and we have done favours for them in the past, like hubby getting there car started, but never get fuck all in return. So they have all of you who are nit picking to blame that i am now getting the police involved. There is an idiot down the road with a loud car, would it be acceptable to take that cos its noisy???

OP posts:
oldernowiser · 17/03/2010 12:50

You sound like a lovely neighbour Tiredmumno1. I'm bloody glad you don't live next to me!

OhYouBadBadKitten · 17/03/2010 12:53

If you swore at me like that irl then I'm afraid I wouldn't be opening the door to you either.

Problem with AIBU is that you will get honest answers.

OtterInaSkoda · 17/03/2010 12:54

Tiredmum your neighbours sound irritating but the police? What do you think they're going to say?

What's the story with the bin - please tell.

Original poster
Tiredmumno1 · 17/03/2010 12:58

How the hell did you figure that out oldernowiser, my kids dont go out there that often, i keep our noise to a minimum indoors and like i said we have done them a few favours with nothing in return. And like i said took our bin and started filling it, i told them it was our bin, they said they would sort it, but didnt and carried on filling it. So how am i the bad neighbour. And also my kids are being alot more careful now, no balls have gone over for months, i was actually proud of them for doing so well

OP posts:
Triggles · 17/03/2010 12:58

I'm pretty sure our fence would topple at a football being repeatedly kicked at it! [grin} So it would be relatively easy for a neighbour to retrieve then!

I'd prefer hearing kids playing with footballs to loud music and fighting. I'm ever so thankful that we have a fairly quiet neighbourhood!