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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my neighbour should give them back?

114 replies

Tiredmumno1 · 17/03/2010 10:54

Right i just needed some advice and whether anyone has been in this situation. Months before the end of last year my kids had kicked a few balls (by accident) into our neighbours jungle/rubbish tip garden, but havent thrown them back, even though i asked, i am so sick of it. There is no point in knocking again they never answer the bloody door. Surely this is theft. wwyd.

OP posts:
emsyj · 17/03/2010 12:58

Couldn't agree more oldernowiser!!!

Can't imagine the police will be terribly interested tbh.

NB You don't do favours to get something in return - you do favours because it's nice to help someone out.

Original poster
Tiredmumno1 · 17/03/2010 12:59

And i never swear at my neighbours, and never will i am nothing but polite to them

OP posts:
Original poster
Tiredmumno1 · 17/03/2010 13:02

Emsyj exactly you do favours cos your nice, so why cant they do me a favour be nice and chuck the balls back. Oh sorry maybe some people think that they are to good to be doing nice things for there neighbours

OP posts:
Pikelit · 17/03/2010 13:06

You sound as if you and your neighbour deserve each other.

Original poster
Tiredmumno1 · 17/03/2010 13:07

Again pikelit how did you work that out, when i am nothing but nice to them

OP posts:
BecauseImWorthIt · 17/03/2010 13:08

Why don't you write a short, polite note? Apologise for the balls going over the fence, explain that you've been teaching your son not to do it, and ask if they would mind throwing them back over your fence, or giving them back to you.

Original poster
Tiredmumno1 · 17/03/2010 13:08

Might try that one triggles

OP posts:
LisaD1 · 17/03/2010 13:10

OP- If you are this aggressive irl then I am not surprised the neighbours don't answer the door!

You posted in aibu and now you're swearing at people because some say you are, very polite and mature of you [hmmm]

Original poster
Tiredmumno1 · 17/03/2010 13:11

I havent tried the becauseimworthit, thanks might give it a go. Just wish others wouldnt jump to conclusions that my kids are demonised and just here to annoy the neighbours, as its not true, kids have to be taught things in order to know its wrong. And like i said the have stopped going through that phase now.

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 17/03/2010 13:12

Tiredmum - you need to teach your kids to respect people even if they don't respect you back. You also need to take them to the park if your garden is too small for vigourous ball games.

Just calm down a bit and stop being so aggressive. If you come across in RL as you do in your posts I'm unsurprised they don't answer the door - has it occurred to you they are terrified of you?

Original poster
Tiredmumno1 · 17/03/2010 13:14

Oh flippin heck lisa, maybe you should read all my posts like i keep saying i would NEVER swear at my neighbours, i am nothing but polite to them, all the time.

OP posts:
LisaD1 · 17/03/2010 13:17

So why swear at people on here then who are giving you an opinion? even if it is one you don't like. Don't ask if yabu if you don't want honest replies.

Original poster
Tiredmumno1 · 17/03/2010 13:19

Just because i said a swear word really does not make me aggresive.

OP posts:
theyoungvisiter · 17/03/2010 13:19

wow OP I agree with LisaD.

You seem uninterested in anyone's POV but your own.

As for "theft" - I seriously doubt that it is. Your kids threw the balls into their garden and you say yourself you didn't ask for them back immediately.

Maybe they've thrown them away? That's what I'd do if some manky old ball landed in my garden and no-one came to claim it. And I would be pretty pissed off if someone came round months after the fact and accused me of theft simply because I didn't guard their precious property that they'd thrown over in the first place.

5Foot5 · 17/03/2010 13:19

Its hard to say when we don't really know you both but it does seem odd that they don't amswer the door.

We have next door neighbours with two boys and then another family whose garden joins ours at the bottom who also have two boys.

Not surprisingly we often get balls in the garden. This doesn't bother me at all and when we spot one in the garden one or other of us will toss it over the fence the next time we are outside. I wouldn't necessarily go out specially though, especially if it is cold and wet. It may have to wait until next time one of us goes out to the dustbin or something. Also we don't necessarily spot a stray ball straightaway.

Now the next door neighbours boys, if they really want the ball quickly, will come to the front door and ask politely if they can go and get it.

The people from the bottom of the garden though are a bit, dunno stand-offish maybe, and they never ever come and ask they always wait for us to throw them back. Which actually I find the more irritating approach of the two.

WhoIsAsking · 17/03/2010 13:20

Hanging's too good for 'em

Veritythebrave · 17/03/2010 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sungirltan · 17/03/2010 13:20

you could post a note through the door saying something like 'i'm sorry to inconvinience you but we have lost our balls in your garden - we plamn to retrieve them ourselves unless we hear otherwise'

electrofagz · 17/03/2010 13:21

My ds specialises in trying to get as many toys as possible over the fence. We built a higher fence but it has become even more of a challenge. Our neighbour is v understanding though and said that we can come in through her side access gate anytime and collect the stuff as she is usually out at work. Could you not agree on a time you could do the same?

Pikelit · 17/03/2010 13:22

How do I work "that out" Tiredmum ?

Well mainly from your own testimony. Only you've posted in AIBU, been (politely) told that actually, YABU, and concluded that getting confrontational is an appropriate response.

So do excuse my assumption that your oikish behaviour on the internet is likely to leak out into your real life too.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 17/03/2010 13:22

Good luck with the police getting involved to sort out the bin and ball situation!

Veritythebrave · 17/03/2010 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oldernowiser · 17/03/2010 13:26

Tiredmum, you're not really putting yourself across very well. You sound really aggressive. Do you swear like that in RL or just here?

WhoIsAsking · 17/03/2010 13:29

And I don't think it's legally theft either.

thehillsarealive · 17/03/2010 13:32

lmao verity - should a ball get lobbed into my garden then i suspect it would be popped too. what is is with GSD's and footballs?

OP - I dont think the police would be very interested in your ball and bin situation. If I Were you I would either

go next door and find the balls myself and tell the kids that if they go over again then it is up to them to get them back

OR

Write your neighbour a little note, post it through their door apologising for nuisance of footballs and to please return them - oh and the bin at the same time.