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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think abusive parents should bear the blame

111 replies

carolondon · 15/03/2010 16:22

Children who have been in the media recently and have comitted horrific crimes against other children, (the Bulger case, The two boys in Doncaster are the two that spring to mind)have all come from horrific homes where they have witnessed and been subjected to violence on a daily basis and watched hardcore porn.

The behaviour they displayed has surely been learnt from the adults responsible for them. Does anyone agree with me when i think that not only should the children be sent away and rehabilitated, the parents should also serve an equal jail sentence for severe neglect.

OP posts:
TheLadyEvenstar · 15/03/2010 17:34

Can someone show me a link to where it is written that the bulger boys were abused?

Other than being subjected to punishment for naughtiness and whilst in his fathers care venables watching kungfu, rocky and horror films i have not read anything about abuse.

GypsyMoth · 15/03/2010 17:39

no TLE,i think it was an assumption.

what happens if these kids come from homes where no abuse is proven? or if its another family member who has abused them? or a step parent who has long since moved on??

StewieGriffinsMom · 15/03/2010 17:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

kurves · 15/03/2010 17:45

mums on benefits should be sterilized which idiot said that some people need to check themselves before they type that is out of order

MrsVidic · 15/03/2010 17:48

yanbu

ppeatfruit · 15/03/2010 17:48

I knew that someone would mention fascism. Iam only suggesting that after being found guilty of abuse and or murdering their children. then along with imprisonment perhaps they could be injected to prevent the birth of more children.

GypsyMoth · 15/03/2010 17:49

kurves....it was on a thread few weeks back,believe me,i onl refered to it,did not agree with it!!

GypsyMoth · 15/03/2010 17:51

ppeatfruit....i hope you mean vasectomies for the men too...?

but it wouldnt work would it? and i think if legislation such as this was ever passed,then i'd worry about where it would end...

ImSoNotTelling · 15/03/2010 17:52

They aren't going to be making babies while they're in prison though, are they.

mrsruffallo · 15/03/2010 17:54

I wonder if there is ever a case for sterilisation/vasectomy. I mean, in the case of abusers who keep having kids, or people who are incapable of looking after children having one after another
I don't know if could ever support such a move but I do feel for the professionals who have to pick up the pieces time after time after time

Original poster
carolondon · 15/03/2010 17:58

ppeat i agree with you. people who have been convicted of murdering their children should be sterilized. baby p's mother will probably be young enough to have more children when she gets out and the cycle will continue.

I agree that it is a vicious cycle that goes down generations but sterilization would break that cycle.

There is a human rights issue but i believe that anyone who kills a child has forfeited their human rights.

Theladyevenstar there are several articles detailing the Bulger killers home life. In one it stated that an older brother of one of the boys (can't remember which one) actually asked to be taken into care after suffering at the hands of an older brother. I will try and find the article and post the link.

OP posts:
GoldenSnitch · 15/03/2010 18:04

There were quite a few years during my childhood/teens/early 20's when I wished whole-heartedly that my Father had been sterilised - before I was born.

After lots and lots of councelling and two children of my own, I'm not sure anymore.

And can we please be clear though - the abused DO NOT automatically become abusers. My children are happy, loved and most importantly, safe.

GypsyMoth · 15/03/2010 18:09

but you cant talk about rehabilitation of a person who has also had their human rights taken from them(via sterilization)

is there any point rehabiliatating them?
and would they work with the rehab if they had been forced down this road?

i predict they would be so angry,humiliated,god knows what....and offend in other ways?

also,doesnt stop them from becoming step parents (i have an ex who is banned from his own dc but specifically targets single mums)

Tiredmumno1 · 15/03/2010 18:10

Wtf well if mums have to be sterilised cos they are single, then murderers should be executed, just like venables, if you take a life, then orf with their heads as some people would say.

GypsyMoth · 15/03/2010 18:13

no tiredmum....not single mums,it was just mums on benefits, the thread i was talking about. it had nothing to do with single mums (for once!)

SolidGoldBrass · 15/03/2010 18:15

Hohum, the joys of the internet - every single discussion forum always turns into Fuckwit City when an unusual or horrific case hits the headlines...

mrsruffallo · 15/03/2010 18:24

And then you come along and put us all right

Alouiseg · 15/03/2010 18:25

One chance and you're out! If you abuse or neglect one child you should be sterilised. You don't get second chances with human lives.

It would be easier to fund than the fortunes that are thrown at keeping families together. Even when they are not worth saving.

We would see an end to disgraceful parenting within 2 generations.

My parents fostered a boy nearly 35 years ago, his parents went on to have 5 more children between them, the siblings should have been removed at birth but of course they were not. The abuse these children suffered was horrific and the boys have gone on to become second generation offenders.

My foster brother was actually very lucky that he was removed by the police as SS were on strike at the time!!! The police officers removed him swiftly from a dangerous situation but SS went back to work and let 5 other children be neglected, abused and sold into paedophile rings.

Call me a fascist but these people waive their right to human rights when they hurt children.

ImSoNotTelling · 15/03/2010 18:27

What about murderers and sex offenders?

Should they be allowed to procreate?

GypsyMoth · 15/03/2010 18:30

'we would see an end to disgracefull parenting within 2 generations'

wow....great research....do you have a link to this please?

Alouiseg · 15/03/2010 18:32

Common sense! 3bb.

Perhaps i'll get some funding and research it.

"Generational abusers. what percentage are they of the abusive parenting population."

Nemofish · 15/03/2010 18:33

Has mumsnet been invaded by BNP wives?

I agree with SGB and ThreeBlondeBoys.

I repeat that forcibly strerilising anyone, for whatever reason / criminal act, is morally and ethically wrong.

If the state enforces policies that are morally and ethically wrong, (ghettoisation of Jews, anyone?) then it becomes morally bankrupt, ffs it is wrong.

sorry did I use too many ov dem ryt big words innit

mrsruffallo · 15/03/2010 18:42

I didn't see anyone here promoting or even condoning sterilisation. It's a discussion.
It's very silly of you to come on here and act so superior just makes you look a bit teenage

tethersend · 15/03/2010 18:51

For fuck's sake, should we not have some sort of sterilisation Godwin's Law?

I am exhausted from debating the issue.

Thankfully, Nemofish sums it up neatly.

mrsruffallo · 15/03/2010 18:54

Exhausted yet still posting, well done