AIBU to be concerned that my wife may be addicted to MN?

[FatherOfTwoBoys]

I suspect that this one may get a reaction but my wife is spending more and more of her time on MN and it?s becoming a concern, perhaps even an addiction. What can I do? Am I the only husband that has observed this?

As soon as she is dressed in the morning she checks the computer and whenever I come back to the house after work she is on MN, typically leaving my two sons (3 and 5) to watch TV.

I?m unclear how often she logs on when I am not around but I?ve discovered her Nickname and having searched for her comments have found that she adds contributions at all times of day. Not a surprise as recently she?s bought a new laptop with dongle (?) so that she can login when out of the house and as such is a regular at coffee shops where she can now access MN on this computer. She may also be using it at the gym where she visits most days.

Thoughts appreciated, although unfortunately I can?t promise to monitor discussions 100% of the time!

I would advise your wife to name change

The thought of my (not so)dh reading my posts makes me shudder Mr Burns style.

sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

how does she balance her laptop on the rowing machine?

my DH is fine with my MN usage. he's too busy with the housework and cooking to notice me on here most of the time.

And I suspect you know this will get MORE than a reaction.

Especially on a Friday night

[narrows eyes]

I think your wife is doing well, I check MN BEFORE I get dressed in the morning.

Hang on is this my dh? oh no we have a girl and a boy. . YANBU mn is seriously addicted however, I'm sure your wife gives your two sons plenty of attention despite her addiction

If you get involved and start posting you might cramp her style and she may not want to post any more?

This is perfectly reasonable behaviour YABU

It's when she puts a football match on the telly above a family activity you know you need to seek professional help....

Kids love telly, wife loves Mumsnet, what's the prob?

And how did you discover her nickname then? Do you read all her emails, rummage around in her handbag and tap her phonecalls too?

Hurry home, darling, dinner is ready

Was really worried that this was DH, but I don't frequent coffee shops in the day and am working from home, plus he is driving at the moment.

I predict a riot

Wow...10 replies in 5 minutes!

JackSpratt - I suspect that she does namechange, which is all the reason for wondering how many posts she manages day to day!

EccentricaGallumbits - a classy response!

Kindalingers - I'm not stalking her, just intrigued as to how bad the addition is getting

Does MN employ anyone to add to posts? If so, I know a great candidate.

What sort of threads does she post on? Does she hang out with Dittany by any chance? Because if so, you should be very afraid....

YABVVU - stop snooping on your DW and spend time with your DCs yourself.

MN is a public forum. If he knows her username then why shouldn't he check if interested?

Also given that there have been a number of posters who have deregistered becuase they believe they have been using mn too much (or have not deregged but have started threads worrying about excessive usage) then this thread is not much of a surprise is it?

Aaaachoooo - she mentioned her Nickname in a conversation that we had when I tried to understand this MN phenomena.

Good thread for a Friday though!

I would go the gym more often if I could Mumsnet at the same time.

Fatheroftwoboys, why are you hanging around on here then instead of spending quality time with your children/wife??

BadGardener - I didn't read the threads or take much notice of the topics, I just scrolled, and scrolled, and scrolled through her list of contributions.

Phew! When I read the title I thought bloody hell, that's my husband!

Am glad to hear the boys are the wrong age and it's a laptop!

ok - you are probably going to get a hard time from a lot of people, but I won't join them.

MN can be addictive. I know I can get so sucked in that I log on first thing!

If someone was to check my threads, they'd see me on at all times of the day.

There have been times I have been on all day when I get that bad I try to log off for a few days. My husband has previously voiced concerns similar to you.

However, it is possible to look as though you are on all day. Take a typical example of a day.

Get up, grab a coffee and post on a thread
get the kids up, get their breakfast, while they're eating it, post on a thread
get the kids to school, come home, grab a coffee and post on a thread.
go put some washing on, wash the pots, mop the floor, come back and post on a thread
clean upstairs, come back, have half an hour posting on threads
hoover the living room and polish, come back and post on a thread
go fetch the kids, while they're watching tv, post on a thread
make tea, kids have theirs at the table, you eat yours in front of computer
homework, chatter, quality time..then sit down with a cuppa and post on a thread
get the kids bathed and to bed then settle down with a glass of wine and MN

5 minutes here, 5 minutes there, nipping on and off... it can seem like you have sat in front of the computer all day.

By the time I have posted this, I am sure you will have had the flaming of your life! But I don't think it is automatically unreasonable to be concerned if someone seems to be becoming consumed by something - especially if you fear it may result in them having altered priorities that ultimately damage the family.