AIBU to want her to have served the cake?!

[Kariba29]

Please be nice this is my first post!

So recently met another new mum through another site (that was before i joined this one!) Have met a few times in town but was asked to come to her house for coffee yesterday.

On my way i passed by Marks and Spencer and got a small cake that i thought would be nice to have with coffee.

Got to her place and mentioned i had brought cake, she said thanks but you shouldn't have, anyway come coffee time we are sat in the kitchen facing the cake i bought but she didnt offer the cake and i didnt want to say please cut the cake as i dont know her very well,

Am I BU to be dissappointed the cake was not offered, probably wouldnt have felt this way if i wasnt on a diet and fancied a treat!

OP - did you clearly say "HERE IS A CAKE THAT I BROUGHT FOR US TO SHARE WITH OUR COFFEE?"

Because if you didn't then YABU.

I have a known friends turn up for coffee at my house and coyly shuffle a tescos carrier on to the side in the kitchen. When they go to the loo and I peek inside it's biscuits or cake (hopefully not coffee and walnut cake obviously).

So then I wait for them to say "HERE IS SOME CAKE WOT I BRUNG YOU" and they wait for me to offer them some of the cake they brought. But I CAN'T offer it to them because they haven't GIVEN it to me. For all I know they might have picked up some bread and carrots for tea on their way to my house and be intending to go home with their carrier bag and make casserole on toast.

It is VERY annoying.

One friend always brings lovely things when she comes round and NEVER ACTUALLY GIVES ANY OF IT TO ME. Then afterwards I have to text her and say "Oh dear friend, you left your bunch of dafodills and your packet of tunnocks teacakes on my sofa" and she texts me back and says "no, those are for you" and I text back and say "Oh! I didn't realise! Thank you!"

And it is silly.

well, there you go - if she isn't British, she probably just does things differently. I'd chalk it up to cultural differences. She probably expected you to open it up and offer it to her. Or she thought it would be rude to open it up. (e.g. in Japan, it's quite rude to open presents you've been given in front of the person who gave them to you. You're supposed to wait till they've gone.)

In fact, there's probably another thread on here somewhere saying "AIBU to be embarrassed that all I had to offer was nasty old Nice biscuits when my new friend came round, especially when she gave me a weird English coffee lovely cake as a present?"

@littledawley - I am actually always a bit put out when that happens (I bring wine, host opens other wine) - usually because my wine that I have brought is FAR inferior and so I can imagine them pouring it down the drain disdainfully afterwards....but I am probably just paranoid.

Muggglewump, I made some chocolate brownies this afternoon. You are very welcome to some.

Oh but they have a few macadamia and brazil nuts in them. So maybe not?

Haven't read the whole thread and we may have gone onto a completely new topic by now but...

YANBU but I ALWAYS to this when people come for dinner and bring mints, wine or a dessert. I have the meal planned in my head, people bring stuff, I say thanks and put it in the kitchen and forget all about it and feel mortified that I forgot about their offering after they have gone.

I'd be more likely to remember if it were tea and we were sitting in front of the cake though , especially if it were clearly better than what I had on offer!

I guess in your situation I might have said "I brought the cake to eat now by the way" or similar.

I think the clue here is 'she is from the continent' they're foreign there you know and do not understand Marks and Spencer cake.

Your post brought back warm fuzzy memories of being a breast feeding new mum and experiencing 'cake attack' when ever I was near a M&S

yanbu

YANBU, she should have served it right away or said if she couldn't eat it for some reason. How hilarious though! Are you going to see her again?

What time of day was it?

Dumbledoresgirl, why would you put nuts in a perfectly good brownie, why, why?
You're only inviting me for tea because you know I won't come aren't you, because of the horrid nuts.

Why ruin a good cake with nuts?

Oh, and on re-reading, I see you weren't inviting me to tea, just to have some horrid nutty brownies.
Good job you did put the nuts in really, or I may well have turned up for tea and cake and that would have been embarrassing all round.

I've got to go make cake now, I can't bear it any more.

Don't anybody read the acclaimed novel 'This Book will change your life' as it contains extreme scenes of doughnut enjoyment.

I woke my DP up in the night and asked him to hunt and gather a maple glazed for me, but he wasn't having it.

It also features explicit doughnut photography on the cover.

It should be banned.

Oh Kariba, you'd have put me in a truly awkward situation. On the presentation of (hidden in bag) cake I would have skipped and danced to the kitchen screaming yipee, let's have cake! Only to open the bag and discover . . . coffee and walnut!!!! How would I have covered my disappointment and gagging as I tried to force a piece down?

You should ring her up and ask if she enjoyed the cake.

lol a minimarmite trying to slip that sentence politely into the conversation.

I can't think of a single cake variety that I don't like (and I have the backside to prove it!).

betty turnip even parkin? what is that all about?

Ginger parkin is it? - actually I've never had it but hazard a guess I'd like it .

Trust me you wouldnt. I love ginger cake, infact I love all cakes other that custard tart It does not taste like custard with I also love. parkin is a very poor, very distant relation - 75 times removed even!

Tut tut, oldenglishspangles. A custard tart is not a cake.

It's a... well, it's..........erm.......a tart!

I have been assured only recently that I would love parkin but haven't tried it. I am willing to try it in the spirit of adventure but it on't be as nice as

YUMMY YUMMY COFFEE AND WALNUT CAKE.

Walnut and coffee cake sounds lovely to me!

shodan - I am too greedy to differentiate between cake /tart/ or pastry. They are never the plate long enought - acually if I am honest they are never out of the packet/ oven long enought to make it to a plate I do love the walnuts in coffee and walnut. The problem with coffee and walnut is that the cake size offered isnt usually big enough to share

If someone brings cake to my house i have it open and sliced before the coffee/tea is made

Me and cake is to Homer and doughnuts

Although i dont like anything thats coffee flavoured except actual coffee i would still have opened it and offered you some and then asked if you wanted to take the rest home for you or your DP/DH

I like all cakes, but coffee and walnut is my favourite. Agree that Brits are wimpy about giving presents though. Will bear in mind to say "I've brought a cake for us to eat" next time I go round a friends. That way there can be no misunderstandings.

Oh god, I have actually just been in tears laughing at this thread - brilliant!

YANBU with the cake situation, what kind of crazy person doesn't immediately tuck in to a gift-cake? On the other hand, coffee and walnut? Why ruin a perfectly good cake with walnuts? I've never understood why anyone would want to eat walnuts in anything, much less a cake