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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel so sad for this mum and baby but still think she could have been more careful?

329 replies

Vivia · 09/03/2010 10:25

Was in Costa just now. I was in the queue getting a takeaway while two mums were sitting with their newborns on the comfy sofa nearby. Very gorgeous scrunchy babies. I noticed that one mum had the baby lying vertically on her lap, so baby's feet at mother's chest and baby's head near the table. I thought it looked precarious.

And it was. As I walked out, I glanced back I noticed the mum reach over her baby's head and pick up the piping hot mug of coffee. She dropped the large mug of black coffee on the child's face and body. In that split second, I almost didn't register what happened. I ran back in. The security guard from nearby was jumped over chairs and tables to get to the baby, the mother was screaming 'help me!' The security had whipped the newborn to a sink of water and staff were calling the ambulance. The baby screamed at first then went horribly silent. Poor child had been hit in the face by a large, falling china mug and thoroughly scalded by coffee.

I feel so sad but wish the mum had realized that reaching over a newborn to pick up coffee is a terrible idea? I don't mean to judge her but

OP posts:
BattyKoda · 09/03/2010 15:18

x- posted there! I'm such a troll slow typer

Blabbermouth · 09/03/2010 15:29

I was struck by the fact that OP insisted (several times) that the drink in question was steaming hot?? What was the point in that except to horrify us as much as poss?

porcamiseria · 09/03/2010 15:30

vivia what a horrible thing to have witnessed, horrible. my thoughts go to the baby and mum

I dont blame you for thinking what you think, what you saw wont fade and in the mixed emotions there is bound so be some elemnts of anger and frustration that something so horrible and avoidable happended

and I think this is helpful reminder for us ALL

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 09/03/2010 15:36

Fuck off with the troll accusations! Plenty of coffee shops in shopping centres have security around, I used to manage one and there were always security wandering past.

If I had seen something awful and shocking and upsetting I would want to discuss it with someone/people who would be sympathetic. That's what the OP has done.

Most people on here have been quite supportive of the mother. Honestly, if I saw something like that happen I would have been desperately shocked and upset but also a little angry with the woman. It's a natural response when someone does something careless/dangerous that results in an accident. Have you never seen your DPs do something silly that has caused DCs to hurt themselves? I have, and my first reaction is anger towards him, likewise his towards me, even though logically we both know it's unhelpful and not the other person's fault.

There is absolutely nothing about this thread that suggests troll and it's an emotive thread so those who doubt the OP can actually just STFU and report it.

RollBaubleUnderTree · 09/03/2010 15:51

This is not a learning opportunity for the rest of us though , it is someone's baby whose life may be in danger if the coffee was as hot and steaming as the OP suggests.

Feels wrong to be picking over the bones of it on the internet where the mum or someone who knows her may see it as some point.

ImSoNotTelling · 09/03/2010 15:54

I also think it is not that farfetched that the mum will come across this. It will be an incident which will be talked about a lot in the community and someone she knows or is related to, or a friend of a friend etc is bound to be a MN.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 09/03/2010 15:55

Nobody is picking over the bones of anything
OP had a traumatic experience in her own right - is discussing it on MN. Other posters are being broadly supportive of OP and mother involved.

People write on here when they have had traumatic experiences all the time. There was a woman recently who had witnessed a fatal car accident. Only one example. I think everyone on her appreciates that the baby's life is in danger. It's an awful shock for the OP and she has a right to talk about it with other people.

Clarissimo · 09/03/2010 15:58

Oh god poor people

Something the vast majority of mothers risk every day and get away with it, terribly sad for them but no blame to be had.

Clarissimo · 09/03/2010 15:59

(It is possible mother may find this, has happened before on MN, I remember chatting to someone whose baby had been killed on a thread aboput an alledged crime (not by Mum) years ago)

Morloth · 09/03/2010 16:00

So what are the parameters for appropriate discussions then?

Morloth · 09/03/2010 16:01

So what are the parameters for appropriate discussions then?

GypsyMoth · 09/03/2010 16:02

we all write about stuff that hapens.....its possible ANYONE could come across it and recognise themselves!

there would be very few threads if we worried about rl people stumbling across them!!

Clarissimo · 09/03/2010 16:02

If it reassures anyone amidst the horror stories, my mum tipped a pan of boiling water over my small sister, didn't get medical help and bansdaged it herself (thought SSD would take sis away) and although I will remember tril I die the screams, sister had no lating ill results

RollBaubleUnderTree · 09/03/2010 16:03

'she has a right to talk about it with other people'

She sure does. To friends, relatives, her DH. I personally don't think she has the moral right to be posting about it on the internet where anyone could see it personally. Especially in such a 'I am not judging but I am really' way.

Clarissimo · 09/03/2010 16:03

The parameter for discussion is obvious:

never write anything you woudln't be happy for someone to read about them

Clarissimo · 09/03/2010 16:04

(Or at least feel able to stand by is that happened I guess)

And am not innocent myself; many an angry thread from me but I would stand by every word, though natch would rather not have to

scottishmummy · 09/03/2010 16:07

tbh,you are judging her and my immediate reaction to witnessing a baby being scalded wouldn't be to go online and share

have a fucking heart

to you this is an all indignant how very could she and face

to the mum and poor baby,is a tragic accident

McDreamy · 09/03/2010 16:08

Poor mum and baby

We're looking after MIL's dog at the moment. Found DD (aged 1) helping herself to his dinner yesterday evening - bleurghhh!

If that wasn't bad enough the dog has tablets for arthritis with his dinner and there was only half of one left. Can't be sure if he'd eaten it or DD - quick call to the poisons unit required and dogs dinner relocated hastily!

Accidents happen - hindsight is wonderful!

ImSoNotTelling · 09/03/2010 16:12

It's very identifying though, the name of the coffee shop, number of people sitting there, and so on. People normally are a bit more vague about details.

This is the first thread I've ever thought this about BTW, I don't normally go in for saying there are things which are appropriate/inappropriate. I suppose maybe because it's identifiable and isn't something that happened to her IYSWIM. And it's so horrible (could be fatal).

The car crash thread was the poster talking about what she had done somehow, whereas this one says "I don't mean to judge" and includes horrible detail.

I just think if I was the mum ot anyone who knew her I woud be a. absolutely sure it was about me and b. devastated to read it.

Morloth · 09/03/2010 16:13

I came across DS once, licking the piece of dog food and then handing it to the dog. And yes I know dogs/toddlers shouldn't be left alone (I thought the dog was outside). They were both quite happy with this arrangement.

MrsPixie · 09/03/2010 16:13

poor little might, and on the face as well . DD had a v minor burn on her tummy and my God they took it so seriously, she was 9m and didn't even scald but they kept her in as burns can affect babies very badly.

ilovesprouts · 09/03/2010 16:14

poor mum and baby ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN my ds1 pulled a hot tea allover his arm at 18m he had a small burn hes 20 now and wen it gets cold you can see the mark ,hope they both ok

thatsnotmymonkey · 09/03/2010 16:17

Could this be a wind-up? If it is, it is really sick. I am surely not the only one to have cried whilst reading this.

Fuck.

My utmost sympathy with the mummy and her baby. Nothing could be worse.

BalloonSlayer · 09/03/2010 16:17

Hmm yes I suppose that when the worst of the crisis has passed the Mum might google for support and find this thread?

MrsPixie · 09/03/2010 16:18

Why on earth would this be a wind-up?