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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel so sad for this mum and baby but still think she could have been more careful?

329 replies

Vivia · 09/03/2010 10:25

Was in Costa just now. I was in the queue getting a takeaway while two mums were sitting with their newborns on the comfy sofa nearby. Very gorgeous scrunchy babies. I noticed that one mum had the baby lying vertically on her lap, so baby's feet at mother's chest and baby's head near the table. I thought it looked precarious.

And it was. As I walked out, I glanced back I noticed the mum reach over her baby's head and pick up the piping hot mug of coffee. She dropped the large mug of black coffee on the child's face and body. In that split second, I almost didn't register what happened. I ran back in. The security guard from nearby was jumped over chairs and tables to get to the baby, the mother was screaming 'help me!' The security had whipped the newborn to a sink of water and staff were calling the ambulance. The baby screamed at first then went horribly silent. Poor child had been hit in the face by a large, falling china mug and thoroughly scalded by coffee.

I feel so sad but wish the mum had realized that reaching over a newborn to pick up coffee is a terrible idea? I don't mean to judge her but

OP posts:
nickytwotimes · 09/03/2010 10:46

ANd aye, it cuold happen to anyone.

No judging required.

GypsyMoth · 09/03/2010 10:47

i'm worrying about its eyes! poor little baby

MathsMadMummy · 09/03/2010 10:48

Nobody needs to judge her, the mum will feel terrible enough as it is. Poor baby

Even if the coffee had cooled down a lot, it'd still scald - I remember a first aid teacher telling me even something at 40 degrees can scald.

junglist1 · 09/03/2010 10:49

And it's nose if the mug was heavy

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 09/03/2010 10:50

I had a moment of 'FFS' when I read the OP. But then I remembered when I left 6 weeks old DS on the sofa and he fell off, almost smacking his head on a stone step. That was because DH had woken me up from a nap when he forgot his keys so I was half asleep and angry and not thinking straight.

I can't say I've ever done the particular stupid thing that the woman in the OP did but I've done stupid things. But I remember the feeling of utter horror and panic when you realise you have hurt your baby and it could be serious I feel quite sick just remembering it and it was 18 months ago.

Mrsdoasyouwouldbedoneby · 09/03/2010 10:53

Makes me feel ill just thinking about the mug alone hitting the child's head square on... Hope the baby was ok, do you think the staff would tell you if you asked? I'd want to know if I'd witnessed it. Poor mum... totally foolish thing to do, but totally understandable and slightly freakish (i.e, sploshing coffee, almost a certainty, but actually dropping the mug onto the child, unlikely).

Morloth · 09/03/2010 10:56

I have left hot drinks on the coffee table when DS was a toddler - just didn't think.

I banged his head on the door frames a couple of times in the middle of the night, just misjudged/was sleepy.

I left him at home once when I went to the shops, was sleep deprived went and got in car and just didn't think.

I forgot to close the screen door properly when hanging out the washing and he was about six months old, he pushed open the door and fell down the steps (cutting his arm on the sharp edge of the door).

I put him on the bed once when I was getting dressed, he rolled off.

I was changing him on the change table and bent down to pick up something (taking my hand off him) and he rolled really quickly and smacked his head on the wooden frame.

I thought he was in the living room when I was cooking dinner and turned too quickly holding a hot pan and a drop of really hot oil landed on his head.

I am sure there are more.

DS is the most important thing in the world to me and I love him beyond measure, but shit just happens even when you are doing your best. The mum in the OP just didn't think, and you don't always think about every single action.

First stone and all that.

megapixels · 09/03/2010 10:58

Oh my, that is horrible . Poor little baby and poor mum.

Rubyrubyruby · 09/03/2010 11:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Undercovamutha · 09/03/2010 11:01

Oh how horrific! I really really hope it turns out to be not so bad as you think.

Totally agree with the 'There but for the grace of God' sentiment. When DS was a small baby I was bottle feeding him in a cafe and he knocked the bottle out of my hand. God knows why, but I dived for the bottle, forgetting DS was still on my lap. Luckily I realised just before he ended up on the floor - the people at the next table nearly had heart-failure as did I! Its so easy to do something stupid when you are tired.

Veritythebrave · 09/03/2010 11:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Vivia · 09/03/2010 11:13

Thanks for not flaming me, in my shock I was thinking 'god, you just don't do that! Why wasn't she thinking?' but of course the poor girl is shattered and accidents happen. Then I was beating myself up because I noticed the baby's lying position as potentially dangerous before the accident and didn't say 'be careful' (but that would have been patronizing). I really hope I haven't offended anyone by saying 'be more careful'. Kneejerk reaction after the shock.

I'm afraid the drink looked like an americano - I remember the steam coming from it as I queued only because it reminded me to ask for my drink 'extra hot'.

Fuck, it's awful.

OP posts:
crankytwanky · 09/03/2010 11:22

God that's awful!
I always think in my local Starbucks "it's a good job they can't make hot drinks for toffee."

Rubyrubyruby · 09/03/2010 11:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gonnabehappy · 09/03/2010 11:57

Oh no - I have done the door frames thing although many years ago. Feel quite sick remembering it. Have to admit I did it more than once too.

Madascheese · 09/03/2010 12:03

Oh Lord, what a hideous accident and there for the grace of God....

I hope you can find out if the Baby is Ok, and you do realise we all need to know as well?

Good grief that poor poor Baby and poor poor mother..

BornToFolk · 09/03/2010 12:05

Shit! That's horrible. Poor baby

I read somewhere that hot drinks can scald up to 20 mins after they are made which I found quite shocking. I've usually finished mine long before then!

nannynobnobs · 09/03/2010 12:11

Do you think you'll find out how the baby is? I really hope no serious harm was done but my DH likes Costa coffee and they serve it HOT well done the quick thinking guard. Bloody hell, scalding coffee, heavy cup then freezing cold tap.
I know newborns make your brain short circuit but if I were going into a coffee shop with my brand new baby I would be hyper vigilant about hot drinks; it's virtually drummed into you throughout pregnacy that hot drinks are a main cause of injury in babies and toddlers.
And yes, my DDs have been injured over the years! Tiny fingers shut in door cracks, months-old DD2 sliding face first out of buggy onto car park floor, soft baby heads on doorframes, and the rest.

Morloth · 09/03/2010 12:15

nannynobnobs "it's virtually drummed into you throughout pregnacy"

Is it? Never had anyone mention it to me in either pregnancy, I mean I figured it out but not actually had it brought it up.

Lulumaam · 09/03/2010 12:20

i go to costa a lot and the drinks never seem boiling hot, i have sometimes asked for a drink to be remade as it's barely lukewarm by the time i have got my other items and paid.. so hopefully, the drink would not have been boiling, but the time she'd sat donw, picked up baby etc etc

poor poor baby and mum, she'll never forgive h erself.

it is something that you know you shouldnt do, but god, how awful..

truthisinthewine · 09/03/2010 12:22

It's truely terrifying how quickly accidents can happen.

I realy hope the poor baby is ok, I don't suppose we'll ever find out. I really feel for the poor mum too, I imagine it will affect her parenting for a very long time.

UselessMama · 09/03/2010 12:22

agree with nannynonobs...and think it was utterly careless of the mum to let that happen. I don't even think there but for the grace of God, because I have never ever had a hot drink near any of my babbies.

Of course accidents happen but this one was totally preventable. Praying the baby will be OK.

acebaby · 09/03/2010 12:22

how awful. But thanks for posting Vivia. I'm sure that all the mn'ers that read this post (including me) will be reminded to be extra careful when having hot drinks near babies and toddlers.

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow · 09/03/2010 12:28

Hopefully, due to the univeral law that it's impossible to have a hot cup of coffee while you have a newborn, the drink had cooled down.

Gods though... poor baby.

TrillianAstra · 09/03/2010 12:29

Last time I had a coffee in Costa it would have been best described as lukewarm. Maybe it depends on the branch.

It sounds easy to do - I mean how often do you drop your cup of coffee normally? You pick it up with one hand, you drink from it, you put it down, nothing ever happens.