Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel so sad for this mum and baby but still think she could have been more careful?

329 replies

Vivia · 09/03/2010 10:25

Was in Costa just now. I was in the queue getting a takeaway while two mums were sitting with their newborns on the comfy sofa nearby. Very gorgeous scrunchy babies. I noticed that one mum had the baby lying vertically on her lap, so baby's feet at mother's chest and baby's head near the table. I thought it looked precarious.

And it was. As I walked out, I glanced back I noticed the mum reach over her baby's head and pick up the piping hot mug of coffee. She dropped the large mug of black coffee on the child's face and body. In that split second, I almost didn't register what happened. I ran back in. The security guard from nearby was jumped over chairs and tables to get to the baby, the mother was screaming 'help me!' The security had whipped the newborn to a sink of water and staff were calling the ambulance. The baby screamed at first then went horribly silent. Poor child had been hit in the face by a large, falling china mug and thoroughly scalded by coffee.

I feel so sad but wish the mum had realized that reaching over a newborn to pick up coffee is a terrible idea? I don't mean to judge her but

OP posts:
LadyBiscuit · 09/03/2010 12:33

Most accidents are totally preventable UselessMama. If you haven't had a baby before, sometimes you can do dim things. Like Morloth my DC have been injured by my carelessness or incompetence but thankfully never seriously, more by luck than design.

Lizzylou · 09/03/2010 12:37

Goodness, that poor poor baby, and the poor Mother. I so hope that the baby is OK, is there any way you can find out?
It must have been horrific for you to witness, Vivia.

Fwiw, noone (save my Mom, once I'd had DS1) ever mentioned the risk of hot drinks by a baby to me during pregnancy. Not that I didn't make the connection, but I can imagine that when sleep deprived and needing coffee it happens a lot.

ShadeofViolet · 09/03/2010 12:39

Poor little baby, and poor mum, she must be feeling absolutely broken right now!

MarshaBrady · 09/03/2010 12:45

oh god how awful. Poor, poor baby and mother.
I dearly hope the baby is ok.

Sometimes sheer exhaustion can make you go through early months in a daze. Poor things.

LittleMrsHappy · 09/03/2010 12:47

I hope this mother and baby will be OK!,

but I do have to point out that you should never put a scalded baby under cold water, due to high and very serious risk of infection (septicemia) if a baby is scalded cling film is needed, to protect the skin from air and it also locks the burns in tight!

My baby niece was scalded in the bath, she was very very poorly, given her last rites and one point, she was in HDU, for 6 weeks, then IC for 10 weeks before being admitted to a burns unit.

we were told by all the medics dealing with dn, that never put cold water on a scald.

Troubadour · 09/03/2010 12:53

The mother should have been more careful.
I feel so sorry for that baby - I hope it survives.
I also feel terribly sorry for the poor mother who will never forget this day.

nannynobnobs · 09/03/2010 12:58

Oof LittleMrsHappy that makes it sound more serious now, if it was the wrong thing to do for a tiny baby! Along with others I assumed it would still be the same advice as for adults (NHS recommend douse with tepid/cool water for a 10-30 minutes then apply clingfilm).

Pwsimerimew · 09/03/2010 12:59

This is so horrible

rightfootfirst · 09/03/2010 12:59

Immediate first aid treatment for a burn is to COOL it. You're looking to reduce heat transmition deeper into the tissues (in addition to any temporary analgesic effect) and continues to cool as long as is practicable/can be tolerated/until help arrives. Following this, then yes, apply cling film. This will provide a barrier for damaged tissue, and allow examination in A&E without disturbing the burned tissue any further than necessary.

Babies can become sick very quickly following even a small burn, but this wouldn't be caused by cooling the burn; infection could be from any number of sources.

Ledodgy · 09/03/2010 13:01

NHS says not cold but cool/tepid water.

nannynobnobs · 09/03/2010 13:02

And yes I was told several times in antenatal and in leaflets from MW/HV etc about the dangers of hot drinks. I still never pass drinks to anyone over the kids' heads.

littlebylittle · 09/03/2010 13:07

everyone has near misses of one kind or another, however careful. One in ten thousand turns into a horrible accident. Poor lady. Hope people tell her this a lot otherwise the fall out from the guilt will have a worse effect on her child than the accident itself.

5Foot5 · 09/03/2010 13:08

Oh what an upsetting thread. Poor, poor baby and Mum.

UselessMama "I don't even think there but for the grace of God, because I have never ever had a hot drink near any of my babbies."

I am pretty sure I never did either but there were other incidents where a moment's carelessness could have been disastrous but wasn't.

When DD was toddling we hadn't realised that she was just tall enough to reach the edge of the kitchen work surface. One day in the kitchen I had been preparing a meal and put down my sharp cook's knife to go get something. When I looked round DD was holding the knife and dancing around waving it in the air. Thankfully I got it back quickly but my heart was thudding like crazy and from then on we were very aware of where we put things when she was around.

UselessMama · 09/03/2010 13:10

5foot..yes but this is such an OBVIOUS one, like not strapping baby in to his car seat. Anyway, coffee shops and babies and toddlers is not a good combo imo.

BalloonSlayer · 09/03/2010 13:10

Oh no

Wish I hadn't opened this thread.

DS1 has a scar on his arm from a hot black coffee scald. DH still has not got over it (I wasn't there); he still can't talk about it without crying, 8 years later.

Hopefully the right first aid will have helped and the poor baby will be OK. Wish I could give the poor mum a hug though - so sad for her.

Madascheese · 09/03/2010 13:11

Just had to come back on this again, I'm clearly going to be obsessed by this all day.

All accidents are potentially preventable but only if you see the danger in advance. I could say the same thing about child in car safety incidents but then I worked in child in-car safety for a number of years so it's second nature to me. I'm a bit anal hypercareful about the stairs and hot drinks as well, but then I'm sure there are things I don't pay as much attention to as other people and wouldn't always see the potential for an accident.

I really hope they are Ok and that you are Viva.

Chulita · 09/03/2010 13:13

I was never warned about hot drinks and babies and used to drink tea while bfing. I did wonder if it was sensible at the time, looking back it obviously wasn't...it did take me by surprise the first time she reached up and swatted the mug, I was back to water after that!
I thought that for very little babies you should put cool cloth on them rather than the tap because they lose heat so quickly that their core body temp can drop too low. I'm probably wrong though...

pixiestix · 09/03/2010 13:13

Oh that poor baby.

But thank you for the thread Vivia - I am pg with my first and hadn't yet thought about hot drinks and newborns. It seems so obvious now.

Saucepanman · 09/03/2010 13:14

Vivia

I am feeling sick over this so lord knows how you must be feeling. Hope you and they are ok. Will you ask after them next time you are in there?

Morloth · 09/03/2010 13:14

I think all of the "near misses" most parents have are obvious ones TBH. It takes the tiniest little lapse in judgement/attention to have terrible consequences for such tiny little bodies.

I mean it is obvious that you need to allow for holding a baby when walking through a door isn't it? But how many people have bumped/banged babies' heads doing just that?

Assuming this mum feels the same way about her baby as I do about mine, she is never going to forgive herself and would have felt every scream. I still can't cut DS's finger/toe nails because I haven't gotten over hurting him when I did it once.

OP, can you ask at the coffee shop what happened afterwards?

Madascheese · 09/03/2010 13:15

UselessMam

Or maybe as obvious as not taking your hand off your child on a changing table in case they fall?

Or not leaving them alone on a bed?

Or not taking your eyes off them when they are rolling around the front room in case they crack their head on the fire place

Or my particulary favourite, always ensure their hands and fingers are out of the way of doors.

They are blindingly obvious to me, but seem to be pretty common accidents for babies as well.

BalloonSlayer · 09/03/2010 13:15

I consider myself hypersensitive to hot drink risk madascheese but a year ago still found myself walking upstairs behind DS2 - who was learning to climb the stairs - holding a hot cup of tea!

What the hell I thought was going to happen if he slipped and I needed to catch him I don't know. Stupid cow that I am.

Madascheese · 09/03/2010 13:18

BalloonSlayer, that's exactly what I mean...

For me it was the time I allowed DS to follow his friend down the stairs while I stood at the top...

As he was halfway down I thought, oh hang on....

He was fine of course but afterwards I became incredibly anal cautious about stairs.

BalloonSlayer · 09/03/2010 13:18

"I thought that for very little babies you should put cool cloth on them rather than the tap because they lose heat so quickly that their core body temp can drop too low. "

I dunno about that Chulita, DS1 is scarred because he wasn't put under running water. DH thought wet towels were what you needed.

DS1 was 18m though.

His face, however, didn't scar although it did get splashed. I am hoping that happens to this baby too.

LittleMrsHappy · 09/03/2010 13:18

IT SHOULD NEVER BE COLD WATER, it should be tepid, (and only on a small scald/burn)
firstfootright is right, but only on a small burn/scald, putting a child under a tap where the water is cold/warm, high pressure will make the burn/scald worse!

Not alot of people know this, as most deal with minor burns/scalds

Ona large scale burn/scald it should be clingfilm and ambulance phoned, as the immune system has shut down, hence making foreign infection worse.

My sister done neither of these, due to dn skin (3rd degree) she ended up with 3 super bugs and MRSA, and septicemia, due to hot water scalding.

Medics adviced us and other badly/burns cases that infection be reduced by cling film. and then putting tepid water on the scald/burn to cool, so not directly on scald/burn.