AIBU to ask why do people object to condoms so much? im seriously asking!

[BritFish]

i keep reading stuff about men refusing to use them because they dont like them blah blah blah.

so go on, why are they so awful?

they smell a bit but surely you dont notice that during?
and for risk of sounding like a family planning clinic, they are the only way to prevent against STD's and the like.

i mean, if you spend more than half a second thinking about it when you're doing it, you're doing it wrong

of course, this doesn't include people who get allergic reactions to them. and they do them in all sorts of exciting shapes sizes and thickness now....

go on, why are condoms so unreasonable?

I hate to be a stick in the mud here, but with all the comments about them breaking.... This only happens if you put them on incorrectly. They are very effective.

And the comments about their taste- why do you think flavoured condoms were invented? They are not for penetrative sex! And I know the taste might not be ben and jerries yumminess but you can get sti's around the mouth and genital area.... Very attractive!
Remind your children of this when the time comes too.

I have no problem with them. And would also urge all women to know how to put them on their husband/ partner in the dark...don't always leave it to the guy....

The end of lecture....

This is an interesting thread, we've just bought a "packet of 3" for the first time in over 20 years, I'm having my coil out and DH's 2nd test results after his snip haven't come back yet so I don't to be unexpectedly pregnant at 43!
Twas fun standing in boots discussing which ones to get Me: " I don't want any with spermicide, it's supposed to be very irritating", Him, "OK, these ultra sensitive look alright" - cue embarassed looks from young male shop assistant.

God knows what we'll do if his sample isn't clear, don't fancy taking a bulk pack of condoms on holiday!

I can't think of any reason why they should inhibit a woman's orgasm , other then the psychological angle.

I don't mind them. But then they have been my method of choice for about 20 years (apart from one night, one when I thought, haven;t got any, fancy a shag, oh nothing will happen just this once aaaaaaand hello DS) predominantly because I don't do monogamy/longterm relationships, so they are the only option.

Just don't buy the mint ones Mal, those fuckers burn.

Ooh agree with homicidalmummy about women learning how to use them too.

The guy I was about to lose my virginity to put a condom on inside out and then was about to just turn it over and put it on again!

Needless to say, I said NO WAY.

They make me really sore. Within minutes. I go from enjoying myself to wishing it was over.

No other option while I'm breastfeeding and desperate to lose weight though

I was amazed at the variety you can get nowadays ( God I sound so old)

What's with the natural shaped ones that are bent like a banana?

There are even some that are blue and dolphin shaped - when I said to DH that it would be like shagging Flipper, he started making dolphin noises.
Then there are the ones that look like they have a seashell on the end, supposedly for extra pleasure.
I did quite fancy the glow in the dark ones though - but DH would want me to put my hair up in whirls and be Princess Leia.
"Oh Han, your light sabre is so big."

I don't think that they only break when used incorrectly, but they are much more likely to. You have to remember to pinch the air out of the "teat" bit at the end.

If it's falling off inside you then either it's too big (sorry!) or he isn't pulling out quickly enough after ejaculating.

Yes I would always use them in a new relationship, but still hate them.

I would quite like to try a cap, but isn't it only about 60% effective? I am not that brave! Perhaps a cap + condoms + fertility awareness method would be a good combination. So you don't have to use condoms all the time.

nope, sometimes they break because they get chafed, sometimes they split down the sides.... we had two that tore round, ie: the elasticy bit was left and the rest detached and had to be fished out (sorry, tmi)

dp is generously sized though so maybe he just strains them too much

Have never had condoms getting lost, breaking, no chafing, I don't react to them, think they're easy to put on, no way would anyone have got a bj with one pre-dp anyway and I know he's std-free...I'm happy enough with them, until I ask dp if he's getting the snip a few years down the line that is!

I thought the cap was nearly as effective as a condom if you squirt spermicide in it before you put it in Bertie? I'm quite tempted to try one after I have my baby. I'm enjoying contraceptive-free pregnancy sex atm [smug]

agree with tulips. chafing and the fact the dry me out is why mines burst.. particularly if the sex is rather ..em.. vigourous and at odd angles

My firsy boyf refused to use one. He said 'it's like eating chocolate with the paper on'

Also, once with a different guy we lost it, hunted high and low under furniture etc etc. It popped out of my fanjo about 4 days later

Find them totally unreliable - dc3 is proof of this!! and we didnt notice it had failed at the time.

After dc3 was born, we had about 6 months till i was sterilised and our sex life was crap because both of us were so frightened of the condom failing again!

thankfully the sterlilisation is effective and our sex life has got back to being great!

i have a cap . it's ok, does require a certain level of preplanning so it's in when you need it to be. also you have to leave it in for a few hours afterwards, so all in all not good for morning love, which is my fave kind

We've never had one break. You lot must be a lot more.... vigarous... than me

Or even vigorous...

They have always been my only real choice for contraception...they cover all bases..I didn't feel like the idea of pumping my body full of drugs or the coil and female condom was like carrier bag...I've never had one split during the act only while they were being put on...I've used many different types over the years mostly it was quite enjoyable finding different types and reviewing them as such...best ones we ever tried were 'Condomi Naturals'hardly felt them at all best for size are 'Avanti'...now I no longer use them my DH has the snip

did get some chaffing thats why lube is important..

Petisa, I have used the cap for nearly all of my marriage ( almost 30 years )and never had any problem with it at all. I have managed to plan my family whilst using it, no accidents. It is fairly straightforward to insert, you just have to hold the sides close together and insert, like a tampon. It can be inserted 'in anticipation' so you don't have to stop halfway through like you do with a condom. You need some spermicide to spread on it, which also acts as a lube should you need it. I wouldn't recommend oral though, as the cream tastes foul!

DH and I have only ever slept with each other, so STIs not an issue and we have only ever tried condoms a couple of times, each of which was like a bloody farce! Also, neither of us like the feel of it. He thought it dulled sensation and I found it chafing.

I think it's a shame that more gps don't suggest the cap as we have found it to be great.

Summertoad, I get lots of morning love! I really don't find the cap inhibits that at all! As you say, it has to stay in for a few hours afterwards. I have (frequently) left it in until I get home from work. it's never a problem.www.mumsnet.com/images/buttons/post_message.gif

i've never ever ever had one break on me and i used them lots before DH.
i mean, we're all old and wise now of course so we can complain but we know we need them etc.
its teenagers complaining. shushup and put it on, there's a dear.
...hold on, i havn't been having sex with teenagers!
although if mine split i'd be straight down the clinic, not hard for me, if im conceiving, im conceiving, if im not, there aint no sperm getting the better of me! ooh i remember ['youth' flashbacks]

im on the pill now, and it does increase appetite and decrease sex drive.
i cure these things by acknowledging that i cant blame the pill, its just me scoffing my face.
after sex snack anyone?

and i cured the 'no sex drive' one too.
just do it anyway and i'll enjoy it after 0.00001 seconds.
although the longer i was on it, i found the no sex drive thing went away, and im still on it now! my best friend apart from drippage.

I've known lots to split

I got pg using condoms and we noticed no split at all.

Have had several split on us and 11yrs into the relationship, we know how to put the bloody things on. Problem is that they just don't fit. And the free ones from the fpc are all bog-standard bulk-bought, average condoms and they just don't suit.

And can I just reiterate that not liking them doesn't mean not using them for a lot of people. Seen some assumptions on here that disliking them means taking risks, not necessarily the case at all.

Nowhere in a 40 mile vicinity of here fits caps. And you're not allowed to fit them/give them out once a certain amount of time has lapsed after the last woman you issued one to. Plus the spermicide is getting harder and harder to get hold of. I asked for one everywhere I could think of and met a resolute 'no'. My last resort has been a copper coil and I bloody hate it.

Contraception is a pain in the neck.

I always found condoms to be better in the USA, better quality and different sizes available.

I hear they are trying to remarket the female condom again. I have no problems with condoms, am a fan of the cap but female condom.. tried it once and disolved in laughter..I really couldn't feel sexy with this plastic hanging out of me! Anyone else tried it?