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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to get rid of our dog who has bitten our son?

169 replies

paulaplumpbottom · 06/03/2010 19:46

We have a 5 year old springer spaniel. He has always been the most gentle dog you can imagine and we all adore him. He has always been especially good with children and he has never shown any signs of aggression.

On Wed night my 20 month old son and I were sitting on the floor with the dog. My son was patting him very lightly on the head. This has been a very common occurance and our dog has always been very happy and relaxed before. My dog suddenly turned and aggressivly bit my son on the forhead. My son was fine and it did not break the skin.He did cry but was fine a minute later and I spoke to a doctor who said he would be fine. I then called my MIL who came and got my dog.

My husband was away on business and was not there to witness the attack. When I described the situation to him he said that I must be mistaken and that our dog was so placid that he would never do anything aggressive.This was also my MIL's reaction. I have been very furious because I feel that what I saw was a very aggressive attack and I am hurt that my judgement is being called into question. I no longer want the dog around the children. I have told my husband that he is never to be around our children again and that I want no legal responsibilty for him. My husband wants him back home but kept outside. My children and their friends play outside and I feel that it would be impossible to ensure that he would never come into unsupervised contact with him.
My Dh and MIL think i am being completely unreasonable. Am I?

OP posts:
humptynumpty · 07/03/2010 04:04

YANBU
If I was you, it would break my heart to do it, but I would re-home the dog.
I think as others have said, if the dog was aggressive it would have bitten, rather than give a warning, so I don't think it should be put to sleep but maybe a more suitable home could be found for it.

Original poster
paulaplumpbottom · 07/03/2010 09:11

Thank you for all of your responses. I'm still hoping to talk my DH into rehoming because I just wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something worse happened the next time. I'll let you know what we have decided.

OP posts:
FabIsDoingPrettyWell · 07/03/2010 09:25

If you don't want your MIL to take the dog, don't give it to her.

Rollmops · 07/03/2010 09:34

YANBU. Get rid. Or wait until it bites someone else and stitches are needed. Child is a 'tad' more important than a dog, no?

gtamom · 07/03/2010 09:41

YANBU
I'd re-home it.

MrsPixie · 07/03/2010 10:24

please take heed from this warning the dog gave you. He does not like your son.

Re-home to a house WITHOUT CHILDREN

cory · 07/03/2010 10:28

I do wonder how an aggressive attack could still not break the skin though? To me, this sounds like a very minor nip. A cat would almost certainly have done more damage.

Morloth · 07/03/2010 10:39

Dogs bite, all dogs bite - their mouths are how the interact. It isn't the kid's fault that he was patting the dog on the head (which IME they hate), but the parent's fault for not knowing about dog behaviour.

We were regularly bitten by the farm dogs (but never had skin broken) but we were always doing something to piss the dog off so not that surprising (and not a cause for sympathy from my parents).

Rehome the dog if you don't feel it is safe to have around your children, but don't get another one until you know a lot more about what can set them off.

pranma · 07/03/2010 11:02

Rehome definitely-he would be fine with older children or just adults.

Slartybartfast · 07/03/2010 11:12

for you and your dh.
our dog was 16 when she died and never bit, she bared her teeth or growled occasionally and was told off, and mainly walked away to her own space.
so glad i didnt have to make that decision.

cocolepew · 07/03/2010 11:12

Paula here are some re homing centres in NI HTH

catwalker · 07/03/2010 11:19

YANBU I adore dogs and grew up with one myself. I'm usually on the pro-dog team in these threads but I'm not on this occasion - even if the dog didn't actually break the skin. We have a dog now but we didn't have one when our children were small as I think dogs and small children are a bad combination. The number of kids who come out of my youngest's primary and squeal/grab my dog is awful. They are oblivious to her body language which shows she is scared and wants them to leave her alone. Yes, you can teach children how to behave with dogs but you can't expect them to always remember.

When my eldest was born my MIL had a springer spaniel. Of course he was of the, "wouldn't hurt a fly variety". One day my 18 month old son toddled over to the dog and started patting his head. I asked my husband to move my son away (too lazy to get up myself), MIL told me not to be ridiculous, dog turned round and snapped very aggressively at my son's face. Didn't touch him, but there was no mistaking the aggression in that snarl and snap which came frighteningly close to his little face. Thereafter dog and son were never in the same room together.

MillyR · 07/03/2010 11:23

Dogs and toddlers shouldn't be in close proximity to each other. I feel sorry for the child and the dog. I feel quite angry towards the OP for being so irresponsible.

midori1999 · 07/03/2010 12:47

Paula, I am also in NI, and although I probably couldn't take this dog myself at the moment, due to problems with my pregnancy, I may know a very good home that would take him with one existing and very well looked after and fit rehabitated rescue dog. They have no children.

If you want to contact me email me on [email protected]

Sn0wflake · 07/03/2010 13:12

I think you are over reacting to be honest. I had a spaniel when I was little and when he was getting irritated (brothers pulling tail or other irritating things etc) he would snap at a hand or something but (and importantly) it never hurt. In his doggy way he was saying he had had enough. If the dog was attacking he would have left a mark.

Dogs just do this.

If you had said he had left a mark I would have said get rid of the dog.

motherbeyond · 07/03/2010 13:35

GOD!!!!!these threads irritate the life out of me.what is more important?a child's safety or dog? i think it's pretty obvious.
i have witnessed the unprovoked attack of a toddler by a family pet...it was horrendous.the dog was always fine before that day,and the child was sitiing in a garden chair.the dog ran around the garden a few times then straight up to the little girl and went for her face.she was badly bitten. i will never forget it.

dogs can turn.as can people. it really pisses me off when dickheads in the park let their dog bound up to my children and say" oh, don't worry, he/she is a soft as anything.they'll lick you to death!"

yes,it could have been fine up to that moment.but how the hell do you know what it's thinking at that moment.
i also had a golden lab (as well as other dogs throughout my life) same old story,very,very placid,never been aggresive. then one day,for no reason at all bit my gran.
dogs are animals...and as suc,unpredictable.how many stories do people have to hear before they accept the fact that their 'placid' dog, might turn on a child for no reason?

if it were me,i would have already rung the home and the dog would be gone one way or another,regardless of what my dh wanted.

Vallhala · 07/03/2010 13:59

midori sounds like she has the perfect solution.

FWIW I would have no hesitation in adopting such a dog, with my own two children. Admittedly they are older but I'd also have no hesitation having the dog in the company of my friend's 6yo either.

It's a good thing you are in NI Paula, or I'd be asking to adopt him!

summerstorm · 07/03/2010 14:02

you should take your dog to the vet and check if there is perhaps a problem that you were not aware of(with the dog) He might have a sore spot on his head that the wee one caught

muppetgirl · 07/03/2010 14:34

Vallhala
the rspca would not take my dog as they said it was an aggressive dog although it hadn't actually bitten anyone. I would have to have abandoned him for them to have taken him. They said they do not take in aggressive dogs and I would have to find an alternative...

SouthMum · 07/03/2010 14:38

YANBU if you are not sure, your DH will come round. Although I think you are being a tad dramatic - it must have only been a warning nip otherwise you would be in A&E by now with your sons nose on nice waiting for it to be stitched back on.

I remember getting a nip off my mates Rottie when I was a kid because I was messing about with its ears, I ran home and told my mum and her response was "it serves you right". If that happened now the poor thing would probably get pts just because I was being an annoying lttle shit with it.

If there is no chance of you giving it another chance then it has to get re-homed. If I lived near you I'd bite your hand off (teehee @ my own great pun)

Vallhala · 07/03/2010 15:14

muppetgirl, in your case/local RSPCA area I've no doubt you're accurate. In my own area and in my experience in many other areas the RSPCA say that they will take in an aggressive dog, BUT that they will PTS. I've been approached by desperate owners and effected/been involved in the rescue and placement into independent, no-kill rescues in several dogs which the RSPCA would have PTS.

Sadly, I have scores of stories to tell on that front over the years.

Vallhala · 07/03/2010 15:17

Apologies for the grammar - trying to type with a dog sleeping on my arm and concentrate whilst elephants teenagers are dancing upstairs!

fallon8 · 07/03/2010 16:05

keep the dog,, get rid of the kid

muppetgirl · 07/03/2010 17:17

fair enough vallhala

Vallhala · 07/03/2010 17:23

@ fallon8.

Only slightly more tactfully, imho and through my experience, I'd say that there are two beings in this situation who need some training....

.... and the dog is not one of them.