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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have slapped the waitrose till lady quite hard?

130 replies

EccentricaGallumbits · 04/03/2010 22:09

for making a quip about seeing me in there every day and beginning to think i was a member of staff and how i must have loads of spare time on my hands.

I'm not in there every day. i pop in when passing for essentials, the occasional paper or wine on my way somewhere else, usually in a tearing hurry, perhaps 4 times a week maximum.

I don't work there. the uniform wouldn't suit me.

Spare time? what's that. I work very long hours, i study, i work extras to pay the sodding bills.

Daft cow.

OP posts:
TheBolter · 04/03/2010 22:59

You clearly do have too much time on your hands if you are going to get worked up by such triviality.

Maize · 04/03/2010 22:59

Its frigging hard making small talk you know.

4 times is a lot in a week, if I served someone 4 times in a week on a checkout I would comment on it.

In fact I work in a hospital outpatients department and if I see patients a lot more than usual I comment on them being there a lot. They usually smile and chat back and don't slap me. Like normal people.

You sound up yourself tbh. She sounds lovely.

kitchensinkdrama · 04/03/2010 23:11

Shop work is really hard. Perhaps cut down on the wine. and the whine.

kitchensinkdrama · 04/03/2010 23:12

Shop work is really hard. Perhaps cut down on the wine. and the whine.

supersalstrawberry · 04/03/2010 23:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whoamireally · 04/03/2010 23:20

I love having a chat whilst at the till, and at least in Waitrose you feel like they are genuinely interested (or maybe acting skills form part of basic checkout training? )

However, the guy on the till on Tuesday took it slightly too far, from congratulating me on remembering to bring in a bag, through to congratulating me on getting 'some good bargains', through to the odd comment on various items of my shopping, 'What a nice yellow bunch of bananas' (honestly), 'I've always wondered what you are supposed to do with kaffir lime leaves'.

Thank the lord we bought the condoms in Boots

musicposy · 04/03/2010 23:22

Go to Tescos, that's your answer. In our Tescos they won't even speak to you if you try to make small talk, so it would be right for you. Sometimes they will throw one bag at you to put your whole week's shop in if you've forgotten yours, but that's the extent of their interaction.

I go to Waitrose because I like the small talk. I'm sad enough to believe someone actually wants to chat to me! Although, it does make me lie a lot because they usually ask if I've had a good day and "bloody awful!" somehow isn't the right response....

Another alternative is to shop in a country where you have only a vague grasp of the language. How about the ferry to France once a month? Then the shop assistant can spout long sentences of French at you and you can just smile and say "merci, merci" without having to feel in the least bit offended. Or, on a less good day, "au revoir, au revoir, au revoir". (Probably best not to insult them in English as they will almost certainly understand you). If you can speak French, how about Holland? Or Belgium?

But the French do do very cheap wine so two problems solved in one go. I am a genius

MadameDefarge · 04/03/2010 23:24

I don't mean to sound cross. But really, we want some things from society, such as politeness and interaction which isn't reduced to dumb stares or hoodies shouting biatch after us....and then get cross when someone, rather rubbishly tries to be pleasant. It is our duty to interact equally politely IMO. Otherwise we just contribute to the breakdown in the politesse that makes day to day interaction bearable. And if it disapperas utterly we are equally to blame.

Which is not to say we can't get cross at stuff. but wanting to slap someone? Over the line.

musicposy · 04/03/2010 23:26

ROFL, Whoamireally

I do find it embarrassing when they pick up something and say "ooh, that looks nice, have you tried it before?" I'm thinking "Noooo, I'm buying pregnancy vitamins alongside a 24 pack of crisps and 12 pot noodles, you're not meant to be looking!"

MadameDefarge · 04/03/2010 23:29

Nice that those of you sneer live in such salubrious neighbourhoods that taking the piss out of minimum wage people trying to be pleasant is enjoyable. I am just bloody grateful that the people who serve me have the manners to smile at least....

runnybottom · 04/03/2010 23:30

YANBU.

Christ lads, she didn't do anything other than have an internal thought process and then vent it in a safe place the crazy auld wagon.

Give it a rest.

ScreaminEagle · 04/03/2010 23:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MadameDefarge · 04/03/2010 23:33

ah well, runny (hi, by the way!) if you vent on AIBU you get what you get.

Chat might have been a different matter, with a different OP and a different heading....

RedBlueRed · 04/03/2010 23:38

You have the same sense of humour as my brother...You had me crying with laughter at this comment:
"i spat on my hand before wacking her too."

I snorted so loud, I worried I had woken DS.

Glad you didn't really hit her, you'd get banned and then where would you buy your shiraz cottage cheese?

MadameDefarge · 04/03/2010 23:44

Its a question of a power dynamic. yes people can be bloody annoying... and we all love to vent... its just sticks in my craw when people vent about those who are in an inferior power position (vis a vis their interaction) who are simply trying their best.

If the AIBU had been, IABU to have been taken aback by ....

...the waitrose checkout women commented on the frequency of my visits and suggested I was a slacker...fair enough.

But to think its amusing the post violence as an actual act makes me feel a bit sick. I live in a neighbourhood where casual violence is the norm, and believe, me, you soon lose your sense of humour about it.

And I don't mean fisticuffs, I mean guns.

And guns used simply because "he looked at me funny".

Not funny. And yes, I do think its a slippery slope.

JulesJules · 04/03/2010 23:53

Completely agree with MadameD.

You sound stupid and spoilt, and yes, YABU.

runnybottom · 04/03/2010 23:54

Good point Madame.

I'm looking at from another angle entirely, you know when you're at that point where everything is on top of you and someone says the most absolutely perfectly worse pinpointed comment that makes you just want to go all Michael Douglas a la Falling Down? It doesn't matter who it is , you just can't help for a split second wanting to actually smack them in the face.

Or is that just me being a psychopath a bit OTT and should be locked away calm down a bit?

Stress can really make you crazy. (and if you live where casual violence is very abnormal as far as you know, its a different slant altogether too)

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 04/03/2010 23:56

I had a checkout lady recently pick up a (newly stocked) Asian food item and ask 'What do you do with these? We were all wondering' and when I said 'well, you eat them' she replied 'You DO? I'll have to tell the other girls, we couldn't work out what kind of person would actually eat that stuff'.

Well, now you do, judgemental checkout lady.

MadameDefarge · 05/03/2010 00:03

Indeed runny, I know that moment....I really do...when it really is the last straw, whatever the poor hapless person who uttered the offending comment meant...And MN is great to deal with that. except except.....

I suppose I reckon a cup of tea and a bit of distance should make the difference between happily posting an IABU on MN about slapping somone one and an AIBU to be ticked off when I was at the end of my tether...

I am in the process of opening an cafe where I live, and one of my greatest fears is how to deal with stroppy customers who don't know the difference between querying a bill and kicking off like a loon....

clemette · 05/03/2010 00:04

Can't wait for the DM column on this one - "snooty mumsnetters HATE checkout assistants". Thanks for that.
Still trying to work out why what she said even irritated you, let alone made you want to slap her. But then I am not the sort of person who slaps people, even in my imagination...

Tortington · 05/03/2010 00:06

i considered the title what i call 'An Ally McBeal moment' i have them a lot ( those who watched the series will get what i mean)

i think anything other than this is taking it too literally. turn of phrase thats all.

--

th issue of the ladies comments though op! DUDE GET A soh.

DH is in morrisons every other day, its near where he works and he rings me up on his lunch break and asks what we need and gets bits and pieces.

the moral of the story is -

i think the checkout lady was just chatting shit - as is their want and sometimes their order by da management.

i think its not unreasonable to be in a supermarket a lot

i think you took it too seriously

i think MNetters have seriously lost the plot by lighting their torches on this one.

i think that i have just about pissed off everyone in that post

its a skill i have!

MadameDefarge · 05/03/2010 00:10

Oh, c'mn, Custy, 'twas quite a, um, challenging, OP? I'm all for a dark sense of humour, but really, this didn't tickle me. Maybe wrong place, wrong moment. But still...

And as an aside, I always remember being a checkout girl at 15 or so on a saturday, and the dear old chap I had just served dropped dead on me as soon as I gave him the bill...lordy...and I STILL got told off for messing up my till receipts as a result!

brimfull · 05/03/2010 00:12

god I have to be in the right mood for till chit chat
sometimes I must come across a right misery especially when they comment on what Ive bought
so yanbu

my dd is waitrose till girl , I do quickcheck though , I have a great need to get out of supermarkets as quick as possible

HinnyPet · 05/03/2010 00:13

I mystery shop Waitrose (yes I get paid to buy wine there) and the checkout staff are mostly chatty and lovely - it's just the teenagers who don't make small talk. So I make small talk instead.

Tortington · 05/03/2010 00:15

MDF you killed someone?

i worked in asda pre barcodes. i was proper shit. i had a fella come to me with condoms with no price on and had to press a buzzer to do a price check over the TANNOY.

the guy kindly went back and got some with a price on.

regularly got those slips in my til saying my cash was under or over. i was just rubbish.

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