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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hit my ex?

114 replies

angelikarobinson · 04/03/2010 12:10

My ex partner was over last night to see the kids. I was in a bit of a strop generally after a hard day. He told me that he was going to be a bit short on child support this month and I just lost it and started punching and slapping him. I broke his glasses and threw him out. It isn't the first time that I've done this and I don't feel particularly good about it. But I also don't feel that it's really the same thing as when a man batters a woman. He never retaliates which in a way makes me angrier still. I find my rages hard to control. I hate my ex and I resent him still being in my life. I recognise that he is a good father and I don't want to stop him from seeing the children, but when I see him I just utterly despise him for being fat and weak and I want to punch him until he fights back. I'm worried that I might get so angry that I will really do some damage to him. I can imagine attacking him with a knife, for example. I'm worried that I will lose control and end up in trouble with the law. I know that I should seek "help": then I think well why should I? It's not as if I'm like this with the children or with anyone else?

OP posts:
TootaLaFruit · 04/03/2010 12:32

This can't be real. You are stirring. If it is genuine then you need to GET HELP. You can imagine stabbing him with a knife? Stay away from your kids.

oldernowiser · 04/03/2010 12:32

And if this is a troll then I hope her bridge collapses on her

SpicedGerkin · 04/03/2010 12:33

My 'if you are real' didn't refer to whether she was a gingerbread man or human you know.

StealthPolarBear · 04/03/2010 12:34

gingerbread ~person thank you

OrmRenewed · 04/03/2010 12:35

Don't be silly.

Whoamireally · 04/03/2010 12:35

Hmm trollety troll - noone would ever post this using a 'real name'

WhoIsAsking · 04/03/2010 12:36

heehee Who - you are as nosy as I am!

Psychologist much?

SpicedGerkin · 04/03/2010 12:37

Well no, gingerbread people have more brain cells.

Phil25 · 04/03/2010 12:37

Hi i read this and wondered what most women would say about this post and as a man i thank god that you all see thats its abuse nomatter who is doing the hitting.

SG it is the same in the eyes of the law and to most people,i feel sorry for the kids where were they,does there mum know how it could affect them even if they dont see it just knowing the mum is violent may make them think it ok to act like that to other,think the dad should press charges or contact social services for advice.

coldtits · 04/03/2010 12:38

You cannot treat people like this. It is an appalling, illegal way to behave and you need to rein in your temper now. You are a grown woman, not a two year old. You cannot just hit people because you aren't getting your own way.

next time it happens he might press charges (and if I knew him I would encourage him to do so) at which point the police will contact the social services and your parenting will be under scrutiny.

Is that what you want?

stripeywoollenhat · 04/03/2010 12:38

if you are not a troll, you should give your ex custody of your children, nobody who behaves the way you describe behaving should have any significant role in parenting children.

(and imo, he should press charges. you know already, because you are older than three, that punching somebody and fantasising about stabbing them are way beyond the pale. in fact, you are a troll, aren't you?)

ChickensHaveSinisterMotives · 04/03/2010 12:38
WhoIsAsking · 04/03/2010 12:40

Err...

SpicedGerkin · 04/03/2010 12:40

Phil - were you refering to me? If so you'll have seen that i am aware of that fact and the

'holding things back' was in reference to OP being a troll.

bernadetteoflourdes · 04/03/2010 12:40

An(gelika) Robinson "you are the weakest link, goodbye!"

NormaSknockers · 04/03/2010 12:41

You beat me to it chicken, I posted the same thing a bit further down

Original poster
angelikarobinson · 04/03/2010 12:41

I'm not a bully. I'm a good mother and I tried to be a good partner to my ex who repaid me by putting on loads of weight, withdrawing from me emotionally, never sleeping with me and eventually losing his job and landing us in a quagmire of debt.

I'm not saying that I was in the right to hit him; what I'm saying is that it isn't the same thing as when a man hits a woman and I think you all know that. I couldn't really do a lot of damage to him.

I've never hit my children and I never would.

Yes, I know I need to find help but I am scared of speaking my GP in case my children are taken into care. I don't hit my ex regularly. It has been over a year since I last attacked him.

And no, I have never hit him in front of the children.

And no I don't drink anymore.

OP posts:
ChickensHaveSinisterMotives · 04/03/2010 12:42
EcoMouse · 04/03/2010 12:43

Feed it some Pedastools and it'll go away.

No-one in their right mind could possibly think this is ok.

OrmRenewed · 04/03/2010 12:43

"who repaid me by putting on loads of weight, withdrawing from me emotionally, never sleeping with me and eventually losing his job"

What a bastard eh?

bernadetteoflourdes · 04/03/2010 12:43

Hang on I think I see the glasses connection here again. (smells large whiffy rodent) what do you think troll hunters?

NormaSknockers · 04/03/2010 12:44

4/10

ChickensHaveSinisterMotives · 04/03/2010 12:44

Ah, pedastools, food of the trolls.

EcoMouse · 04/03/2010 12:45

" what I'm saying is that it isn't the same thing as when a man hits a woman and I think you all know that. I couldn't really do a lot of damage to him."

Rubbish. The only difference is that a man who beats a woman is an abusive man and a woman who beats a man is an abusive woman.

WhoIsAsking · 04/03/2010 12:46

He should have gone to specsavers

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