to be upset that my friend called me barren

[asteri]

ok so bit of back story, DP and I have been "properly" trying for a baby for 7 months now, although I have been pregnant twice in the past and miscarried both.
My friend found out she was pregnant last year and to be honest we havent really spent that much time together in the past few months (mainly because a few people have left wher I work and I have become really busy and ended up working quite long hours and by the tiem I get home I struggle to want to go out) anyway, she is due to give birth in a two weeks so I popped over last night and took her a gift for the new baby as we will be away when its due. She then said ooooo Ive not seen you for ages, I know it must be upsetting coming over to see me now im pregnant with you being barren and all. errrrr, Im not barren. Am I being overly sensitive or is calling me barren a bit harsh?

Very harsh. If you are feeling charitable, put it down to pregnancy hormone.

Personally, I'd just think she was a thoughtless, insensitve cow.

YANBU - Barren? Seriously! Insensitive of her.

bad choice of words/insensitive thing to say - can understand why you are upset, if she's a good friend I would give her the benefit of the doubt due to advanced pregnancy stress/hormones, etc!!

yanbu- did you say anything or just maintain a rictus grin?

unless you have been through difficulties ttc, it seems fairly impossible to empathise.

sorry to hear about your mcs.

no, there is no get out clause just because she is pregnant. it was a horrible thing to say

What a bitch

Barren? What century does she live in M'lady?
YADNBU, she is a horrid cow and pretty insensitive to boot.

What a horrible thing to say. Is she normally so insensitive?

Sorry to hear about your miscarriages.

What a nasty comment! YANBU at all, she was being a bitch.

YANBU that was a revolting thing of her to say.

What a horrible thing to say. Biatch.

Horrible comment! My FIL said he thought I would be infertile after the serious infection I had after DS... He's a Doctor but I still hate the thought that he was busy thinking about my fertility, or lack of!

BariatricObama - I just said that I had been around in a while due to work, handed her the gift with a lovely smile and then luckily her mum turned up for a visit, so I said I'll leave you two to it, you probably have lots to talk about/do and left.
MmeLindt - I cant say she's always been insensitive just a bit of a muppet at times lol. every conversation yo have with her is about what new really expensive gadget her and her DP have bought and how much money he's making at the moment.....bit tiresome but can be hilarious at times.

What an awful thing to say.

YANBU

That's a horrible thing to say!

We were TTC but have been forced to stop, so I can well understand how sensitive it can make you.

Recently, an old friend who has three kids told me off for using the word "sprog" in relation to something (not even her kids). Apparently if I had kids I'd understand why that was an offensive term - sod that kids (including myself)have been joking called sprogs for years in my family. at sheer bleeding arrogance/insensitivity of some people.

YA so NBU, harsh, and thoughtless of her even if she is pg is your friend Pradagirl from the never ending glasses thread below? Seems like her style of insensitivity TBH

bernadetteoflourdes LMAO when I read your post, I was just reading that yesterday and thought god, what an insensitive woman..little did I know....No i dont think it is her but maybe a relation

YANBU. She is cruel whether or not there are hormones going on that sort of comment is pretty inexcusable.

Also Amber, I think your friend was perhaps a weeny bit precious? very odd comment.

Barren? Jesus, does she live in medieval times, does she wear a jerkin and shoes with curly toes?

YANBU

It was a dreadful thing to say- I was pg with DD1 when a friend found out she had fertility problems. I know she avoided me but I wouldn't have dreamt if using such an expression about her, never mind to her face! Said friend now has a little girl the same age as my DD2, BTW.

What a weird thing to say! Has she got previous form for being catty or is that completely out of character?

Is she upset that you've been too busy for her? Is she worried about the birth and not been able to talk to you about it?

If it's not that or hormones then she's just being mindblowingly insensitive.

stupid fucking bitch

sorry but thats so unhelpful of her!

that would really piss me off

if she is a good enough friend wait till she is a few months down the line and mention it, dont be agressive just say "you using the word barren in conjunction with me was (a) offensinve (b) thoughless and (c) untrue

I am in the mood for a rumble today, but I think people need to be told when they are out of line

Who would say "barren" in this day and age unless they were trying to be offensive?

avoid, avoid, avoid if I were you.

Sorry to hear about your m/c.

She may have wanted to acknowledge your feelings but completely expressed herself very thoughtlessly, being competitive about pregnancy when someone else isn't is just being too much of a "muppet" if that was what she was doing. Hopefully that was not what she intended.

Hope it didn't upset you too much.