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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my 7 year old nephew should not be on facebook?

43 replies

sb9 · 03/03/2010 20:27

I dont think its right chatting to adults - ok they are friends and family but its not exactly child content is it...

Wondered what others thought

OP posts:
Zeralda · 03/03/2010 20:35

I agree with you. It's the same as sending them out to chat to people in the middle of a town centre. You wouldn't do it because they could be talking to anyone. Which is the same as being online. Most people using facebook assume that everyone else is an adult. Also if he is friends with only family members he can still see what others have writen on their pages which might not be suitable.

Original poster
sb9 · 03/03/2010 21:00

I know i am not happy with it esp as his photo is on there. I dont think anyone would approach him but more concerned he is reading things that are unsuitable for his age. Dont understand why hes allowed really but none of my business.

OP posts:
themothershipcalling · 03/03/2010 21:05

I agree with you, my half sister (10) has just gone on and it worries me as I know that there is not always an adult in the room when she's on the internet.

I was quite shocked when I looked at her friends and didn't know who alot of them were.

She doesn't have a photo though....

Mrsdoasyouwouldbedoneby · 03/03/2010 21:09

I was told they had to be 13 or something?

It bothers me a bit that my DNeices and Nephews are on there... one is same age as my DS, not even 6 yet.

Hulababy · 03/03/2010 21:09

I don't like children on FB. You are supposed to be 13y and over, so have to lie if younger.

I know you can set security to higher levels - I have mine on higher levels - but I still wouldn't want my own 7y on FB.

I decline any friend requests from children as I don't want to have to worry about what they may or may not see on my account - and I use FB sensibly too.

themothershipcalling · 03/03/2010 21:23

Hulababy I hadn't thought of it that way, really don't want my little sis seeing pictures of me drunk....

Mrsdoasyouwouldbedoneby · 03/03/2010 21:32

But that means then that for many children their parents must add their accounts? I just use my FB for keeping in touch (with pictures), s there shouldn't be anything too offensive on there! That said some of the stuff on THEIR FB pages...

Mermaidspam · 03/03/2010 21:34

Totally agree. I take great pleasure in reporting friend's and family's kids to Facebook when I see they've got their own profiles.

ravenAK · 03/03/2010 21:35

My ds is nearly 6 & has a FB account - mostly because he likes to have 'wall' conversations with family members & look at photos of dh's band.

I monitor it: he knows he's only allowed to approve friend requests if he OKs it with me or dh, & every so often I log in as him & check that all's well - in practice he's at the stage when he runs to tell me if he's got a friend request or a new message from his uncle or whatever.

Personally - & this is just MHO - I think that children are better off learning about networking/social websites under sensible but relaxed supervision, than quietly setting up their own accounts when they're 8 or so & without their parents' knowledge.

I teach secondary, & a substantial proportion of my students have FB accounts their parents know nothing about - it takes 2 minutes & bugger all ICT expertise to set one up.

Original poster
sb9 · 03/03/2010 21:37

Didnt know they had to be 13 may look into that then! There s nothing offensive on mine but i dont want him to see me drunk etc in pictures/ Just not appropriate!

OP posts:
Hulababy · 03/03/2010 21:39

I teach DD about social networking through sites like Club Penguin, which I personally feel are more appropriate for under 13s.

TottWriter · 03/03/2010 21:48

I think that, given you have to lie about your age to get an account at that age, no, it's not 'appropriate', but it's gonig to happen anyway.

Personally, the problems I have with it is the very regimented signup process. The developers must surely know by now that there are hundreds of thousands of under-13s using their site, and yet they still have the over 13 clause. I appreciate that the american legislation in use there means they probably have to, but could they not try and develop a specific signup process to legitimise what these children are doing? I hate the idea that society is making it acceptable for children to lie about their age, but you can't deny them access to the world of the future, which will be increasingly internet based.

Far better would be if they set up a somewhat more restrictive logon process for the under 13s, which allowed them to connect with their frinds, but had additional filters in place which could be monitored by the account of someone over 18. That way, yes, you would still get some (okay, a lot of) kids lying to get the full access, but there would also be a legitimate way for younger children to chat to their friends online while a parent account prevented them from being exposed to any inappropriate content.

princessparty · 03/03/2010 22:10

Mermaidspam I take great pleasure in reporting friend's and family's kids to Facebook when I see they've got their own profiles.

What a meddling busybody !Why don't yopu mind your own beeswax ?

ravenAK · 03/03/2010 22:45

Good idea TottWriter.

TwoIfBySea · 03/03/2010 22:51

In the P7 class I help out in most of the kids are on FB. There was a recent spate of one girl getting excluded and, well, you can imagine the emotions from a bunch of 10/11 year-olds - tears and the whole shebang.

So YANBU. I won't let my dts have an account at age 8, they are on Club Penguin though.

linconlass · 03/03/2010 22:59

Police came to school this week as an educational visit - children told face book illegal until 13 yo unless adult supervision....

gerontius · 03/03/2010 23:03

So princessparty, why shouldn't you report people for breaking the rules?

SJ80 · 03/03/2010 23:14

Thats good about the police coming to schools, I would press the report button if I saw someone under age on there.

ravenAK · 03/03/2010 23:17

It isn't 'illegal'.

FB have a policy, to protect themselves from litigation, standard on most internet message boards for that matter, of asking sign ups to self certify that they're 13.

There's no 'adult supervision' option, although I imagine that many parents, myself included, do quietly monitor accounts set up for their dc.

Gerontius, personally, I wouldn't report an under 13 for having a FB account unless I had good reason to. Seems a bit mean spirited if I've no reason to believe them at risk & their use of the internet isn't impinging on mine.

I don't allow ds to send friend requests for precisely this reason.

bernadetteoflourdes · 04/03/2010 02:01

raven ak you teach secondary and you let your 6 year old on fb and you think it is ok? (Judgy hat on now) WHY? what next? Adult Friend Finder at 10. It states 13 why are you encouraging it? Also why is this op posting same thread x3 is it a spoof again?

Original poster
sb9 · 04/03/2010 08:00

Not spoof just dodgy computer!!! Good to hear all replies though

OP posts:
Mermaidspam · 04/03/2010 08:25

"What a meddling busybody !Why don't yopu mind your own beeswax ?"

Well, firstly because I work with vulnerable children and have seen first-hand the devastation that meeting a stranger from the internet can cause a family.

Secondly, spaces come after punctuation.

Mermaidspam · 04/03/2010 08:31

The rules are there for a bloody reason!

Would you want your 7 year old reading some of the things people put on there?

Favourite sexual positions, how pissed they were last weekend, etc, etc.

Rather a "meddling busybody" than a naive parent.

rockinhippy · 04/03/2010 12:52

I personally don't see a problem with it, so long as the parents are overseeing everything & the security settings are set on high.

my DD has a FB account of her own, & she is also 7, she uses it for keeping in touch with friends she made on holiday last year, & for playing games such as farmville & pet society etc, I make sure all her photos etc are locked down, & vet any friends requests...& there have been a few very dodgy looking ones, which has ben good for getting in early & teaching her how to be safe online.......its done wonders for her reading & writing & maths skills too.....

so in short, personally I think it IS okay, depending on how well its monitored by the parents, if the kids are left to there own devices & its seen as a way of getting them out of your hair, then NO, its not good, but if you sit with them, it can a good learning tool all round

rockinhippy · 04/03/2010 12:56

P.S., the rules are flexible if you contact FB directly, I had too as originaly put DDs correct age & it automatically blocked our IP address from the site......they were okay with t, as it was me setting it up & vetting it for her, but the site software means you have to put min of 13, so as not to be blocked

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