To think my 7 year old nephew should not be on facebook?

[sb9]

I dont think its right chatting to adults - ok they are friends and family but its not exactly child content is it...

Wondered what others thought

[ShadeofViolet]

My DS is 9 and has a FB account, however he only uses it for Farmville, and we use Farmville.com rather than FB - its just he had to have a FB account first.

[bernadetteoflourdes]

How much peer pressure can there be for a 7yrold to go on FB. Do you guys let your under 9s have their own mobile too? I would be interested to know.

[rockinhippy]

By bernadetteoflourdes Thu 04-Mar-10 16:33:44
How much peer pressure can there be for a 7yrold to go on FB. Do you guys let your under 9s have their own mobile too? I would be interested to know.

Don't be daft , where is the peer pressure in that......as I said, IF its properly monitored it encourages them to read & write more, & can keep them in touch with friends & family not living close by,..... DD loves looking at photos of her Cousins on there,

I can totally understand parents not having the time or inclination to sit & monitor it, & therefore being nervous of it, but trust me, @ 7, there is NO peer pressure, & no, DD does not have a mobile phone, no need, & no benefit in that right now, but if there was, ie; a way of her feeling she can keep in touch if she was away from me, then why not, this sort of technology is popular because its useful...... okay it can be used as status symbols by some, but no one has to buy into that rubbish

[ravenAK]

I think rockinhippy's said everything I was going to say!

Obviously, if you lack the time, skills or inclination to keep a regular eye on your child's internet usage, there's all manner of risks out there.

But it's because I teach secondary & know rather more than I'd choose to know about those risks, that I would greatly prefer to have my dc reasonably savvy about web safety from a relatively early age.

Like before they set their own account up when I'm not looking - my 5 year old son's quite capable of doing so, given 5 minutes unsupervised computer access.

OK, atm I pretty much do control his access - bar when he's at school, where the LA firewall automatically bars social networking sites (there's ways round that, though, & our ICT technician spends a couple of hours a week plugging those leaks).

But increasingly, as he gets older but WELL before he's 13, I'd expect not to be hovering over his shoulder every second he's online.

IME naivety lies more in assuming that if a parent hasn't agreed to their child creating accounts on networking sites, why then no such account exists.

[bernadetteoflourdes]

It is peer pressure or parent encouragement, you can say no to a 5 year old it is possible. Just because others do it is no excuse. And why would a 5 year old want to surf the net? Books amanzingly help us read and comics even. So many parents I know think the chat rooms are all ok that a 10 year old playing COD is ok. Where does it end. As for the mobile, I held out until dd's 12th birthday and she suffered no ill effect. When I really got to look at that phone one day I noticed that vodafone have a site called "Naughty and Sexy" The sales people are not bothered if the phone goes to a child. It is up to us to monitor as parents our dc's internet use and police it rigourously and yes we need to coach them and build up their trust. Starting them earlier and earlier is not necessarily the answe rWeb sites can bring unsuitable pop ups my sis was shocked to get a pop up to a site called Bestality Live FFS! Great education for a 5 year old. Whats wrong with Club Penguin is it too childish for their advanced tastes these days?

[ravenAK]

It wouldn't have the bands he likes on it, bernadette, or the family photos.

I say no to him rather a lot, actually! I would for example veto violent or sexual video games, live chat online that I can't monitor, & a mobile before secondary age.

& he's a complete bookworm (can't think where he gets it from...)

If you're uncomfortable with your own dc using sites like FB that's entirely understandable - I think yours is the majority view - just be aware that they might well be on them, from an earlier age than you'd like, without your knowledge.

[bernadetteoflourdes]

Er no because I check the history and he has no email account. And as for hacking yes I see the" how to "guides on youtube and believe me my ds would not have the patience to do it at the mo. It is tediously boring and longwinded. If you know a 5year old who can do these sorts of hacks set up their own email accounts then they must be spending blardy hours of their precious little lives on the net. You can send photo files electronically Facebook is not the only way to look at photos. My son and I regularly go on line together, ebay, amazon and stuff. He has seen first hand the devastating effect a trojan virus had on our pc with everything lost and a black screen. I have taught myself a lot about pc's as it was me who spent 2 whole days reprogramming every tiny detail and programme so at the mo I do feel I am a little ahead of them in the game.

[ravenAK]

Re: checking the history - friends' houses? The library? I'm not suggesting that your dc is necessarily doing any such thing; I just know lots of 11 year olds who are.

It's not difficult to set up an email account, & then a FB account. Ds is a sufficiently able reader to follow simple step-by-step instructions.

As for hacking through a firewall - it's not tedious or longwinded. You just need a web proxy url that the administrators don't know about yet. I could direct you to half a dozen 11 year olds who could give you the up to date list for our LA (they won't give it to me - they know I have to grass them up!)

Look, you're monitoring your dc's internet activity in a responsible & proactive manner & I'm doing likewise. Honestly, he bobs on FB a couple of times a week, sends BIL his latest lame joke, & checks out his daddy's latest gig photos. Some bug-eyed & prematurely aware cyberfreak he is NOT!

[bernadetteoflourdes]

I bet you can spot the usual suspects in your class who spend hours on the computer gaming machines etc. Big bags under their eyes can't focus looking pasty, do you find it hard to get their attention in class
I would just be interested to know. You are right some parents are crap and don't give a damn about their dc's pc acess.

[ravenAK]

Not really - mine are secondary, they're generally a bit past the stage of finding computers inherently compulsive.

They play games, sure, but then they go off & kick a ball about/do their homework/drink cider depending on temperament.

The baggy-eyed pasty-faced ones, it tends to be drugs. & computer games. But both as symptoms rather than causes - disengagement with school &/or a future beyond school leading to time-killing distractions

I think we're broadly in agreement about the need for parents to be aware of what their dc are up to online, even if we disagree about what precise activities we allow?

[bernadetteoflourdes]

No Raven, I am an opinionated windbag and its good to agree to diasgree and you are right you and rockin are in the minority
butyou too sound totally responsible ref. our dc's pc access. xxx

[bernadetteoflourdes]

your dc's I should have said, night night

[tatt]

once your child is on facebook they put pressure on mine to be there too. And for all the comments about learning early to be safe it is the children who have been on their longest who tend to be the ones posting at length (so not doing homework) / posting about their drug use/ their drunken pictures. So I'll keep mine away as long as possible.

If they have accounts I don't know about it's not under their own name and not accessed at home or school. Can't stop them acting like idiots, can discourage it.

[rockinhippy]

By bernadetteoflourdes Thu 04-Mar-10 22:47:03
I bet you can spot the usual suspects in your class who spend hours on the computer gaming machines etc. Big bags under their eyes can't focus looking pasty, do you find it hard to get their attention in class
I would just be interested to know. You are right some parents are crap and don't give a damn about their dc's pc acess.

You could well be right....that is as far as the ones who are let loose for hours unsupervised.....as for the ones whose parents allow them to use it sensibly as a fun learning tool....perhaps you can spot those too.... DD is G&T level, so its obviously not doing her any harm

[ravenAK]

'once your child is on facebook they put pressure on mine to be there too'

Tatt, to be fair, I have friends who practise extended co-sleeping/home ed-ing/holidays in Florida - all of which my dc think are cracking wheezes, none of which will be adopted in this house any time soon.

Same deal - I say 'well X's mummy may , I don't'. End of, surely.

[tatt]

No, 'fraid not. Because less strong willed parents give in and then it becomes "normal" and you have to decide whether to allow your child to be the odd one out.

That's why young children get mobiles, and facebook and corruption from all sides!

[ravenAK]

Well, I suppose facebook/mobiles/whatever are more about interaction with peers, so more subject to peer pressure.

So far I've not noticed it being a problem - one friend of mine allows his dd (7) on World of Warcraft, which I'm very about - mostly because I don't play it, don't know much about it, & so instinctively I go into 'if in doubt - NO' mode. Ds accepts this, although he'd undoubtedly quite like to join her in getting stuck into some orcs!

So I do take your point.

My instincts are still to guide rather than prohibit, & I think parents letting their dc overrule them against their better judgment is a much wider issue.