schools constantly asking parents for money

[saslou]

AIBU to resent being constantly asked for money by my childrens school. This week we have World book day, so I am just off out to get costumes as I am not very good at making things. They also have the book fair this week and an author coming into school who will also be giving children the "opportunity" to purchase her books while she is there. I am very happy to buy books but don't think that school is the right place to sell children things.
In addition my childrens school wants parents to pay the insurance and travel costs of compulsory school activities (they don't even ask nicely, just tell you that these are the costs). Recently I got billed for a lost library book that my child hadn't even brought home.
I feel mean because I know they have financial pressures but also feel I am being treated like their own personal cashpiont. It doesn't occur to them that not all parents have lomitless amounts of money.
Anyway, sorry for long rant...

I THINK - everyone has to "voluntarily" stump up for the trips etc, which we don't mind paying for, or no-one can go because the school isn't allowed to subsidise children and you can't leave someone out. I don't mind so much for that, BUT we had to put in £2 per child at the beginning of the year for DT/Textiles, and then stump up another £4 for each project to be brought home or the material would be recycled and used again. I know some families round here struggle to find that money for one child, let alone 2, and there is no warning - it seems to be I need to provide money TOMORROW and then just as I am working that out, the other one also needs £7 for a French dictionary. Frankly, I would rather pay £10 per term at the beginning of each term and cover all trips, DT/Textiles projects, French dictionaries, visits by drama or science groups etc etc. It would feel less frantic. Possibly the Textiles teacher doesn't know that the week he asks for £4 is the same week the French teacher is asking for £7?

BTW I really enjoy making costumes, and am making the most of it as DS moves up to High School in September, and there will be no more dressing up as someone riding on an ostrich for him then!!

I agree with much of what has been said - I have a real problem with "voluntary contributions" as I have always paid for trips etc when asked (even if it is really hard to find the money, as we don't have much spare)

A couple of years ago I didn't have �£5 to pay for some trip my (secondary school age) son was going on, and knew that a cheque would bounce due to the timing of our next chunk of money going into the bank, so I wrote a note to explain that I wouldn't be paying the "voluntary" contribution on that occasion.

I later heard from my son that the teacher had said to him, in front of the class, that his parents were being very selfish pretending to be poor as the whole trip might have to be cancelled because of it! For �£5!! I was furious, but at his school it isn't really worth making too much fuss as pissing off teachers always seems to backfire in some way.

Anyway, it really annoys me too, and I feel that I am constantly paying for things that the school should be paying for.

Cleverly - it's not a voluntary contribution in any school I know of up here, it's a stated cost. As I've said, I've no problem with paying for one or 2 things, but it's the frequency of the events etc that we're being asked to pay for, and the questionable value of some of them, often with no prior warning.

What should happen is at the start of each year a letter should come home with details of what's coming up. It should show everything - the sponsored whatevers, the dress up/down days, the trips, the visits to the school by various people and groups, and so on. Parents then have the option to budget for the coming months, rather than this constant dipping into our pockets.

I know that the schools don't have bottomless pockets, but neither do parents. Perhaps it's about time, esp. in the current climate, that schools rein things in a bit?

Ooops that should have read five pounds

The dilemma is that everyone involved, teachers, parents and children want the extra "bits" - trips, materials to make things in DT, science visits, etc etc etc, but a lot of people are having a hard time finding the money to do it. Most of the time finding a few extra quid is not a problem but sometimes we get landed with about 5 things in one week - and it is all needed now. I know the school is trying to provide an exciting curriculum, but I would rather pay up every term and not be landed with anything extra. Even though I disagree with, in a state school, having to pay for anything at all.

Speaking as a teacher, not as a parent, I just have to chip in and say it's the government who forces us to ask for "voluntary contributions" - it's not the school's decision. Myself I'd far rather call a spade a spade and say if parents don't pay up then the trip can't go ahead. And it really is the case that budgets are so tight at the moment that if we didn't receive money for trips and enrichment activities they wouldn't take place. There are certain parents who never pay for anything and we wouldn't dream of singling their children out, but it does make you annoyed when you see them with their five kids, and smoking cigarettes. A pack of 20 fags would pay for one of these trips or treats. Teacher work far harder now than they ever had and they are obliged by the government to provide clubs, trips and extra curricular activities and sadly very few of these are free. My budget for as music co-ordinator last year for the whole year was £190 (a junior school of 260 children). This was for sheet music, instruments, schemes of work, everything. There simply isn't anything left over for the things you really want to spend on such as visiting musicians, have a go workshops etc. I do sympathise with parents who find it difficult, but have very little time for people who say the school should pay for everything. When I taught Y6 we'd do an end of year production and many of the parents refused to provide their child with any kind of costume, saying it was the school's responsibility, so this of course meant the teachers and TAs having to take home materials to sew and stitch and glue. But these were the same parents who were quite happy to come along with their entire extended family, whisper loudly and scrape chairs through the play and then whistle and cheer and wave when their child walked on stage. An extreme example perhaps, but I feel that if you have children you should be prepared to pay for them.

I sometimes think DS's school is taking the piss.

In September, we paid 200euro to DS's school, this was for buying library books and the renting of teaching books and that sort of thing. Its an independent school, so I am not sure exactly where they get their funding from, but ~I do know that they qualify for a lot of grants.

Since starting in September, nearly every week has required money for something.
Christmas was terrible, I felt really guilty for not being able to donate anything in their collections for prizes etc. I also don't buy their calender, mugs, tea towels, monogrammed sweatshirts etc etc etc

In October children were asked to bring in books from their house. SO DS brought a large pile, when I tried to collect them after they were not returned after a month, I was told that they had been sold at one of their 'market days' I was We were not made aware that this was the purpose of bringing the books in and a couple he had taken in were special books (his favourites) given to him by relatives that are no longer with us.

Two weeks ago, DS's class were doing a project on different religions and this entailed a trip to places of worship, now I wouldn't have minded paying for this at all, if it hadn't been for the fact that they visited five different places of worship in one week, not all on the same day, despite only spending 10mins in each one. This cost me 10euro for the week! 2euro per trip!

Last week they went on a trip to the woods, cost me 3uro, this was in order to find 'bits of nature' and stick them to bits of paper. The local park has nature, lots of it, and its a five min walk from the school.

They are 'offering' swimming lessons for the children at a cost of 60euro per term, the problem is we have already enrolled him in swimming lessons ourselves, but we are still expected to pay for him to go, as otherwise the lessons would be cancelled for the rest of the class! No pressure.

Every Monday we get a newsletter to tell us about things happening in the school. And it always has a bit about the school wanting your old mobile phones so that they can buy a whiteboard, then there are posters in every class to say the same thing. They are very demanding and its a bit daft really, they need about 650 phones for a whiteboard, but there are only 150 kids in the school. Seeing the posters makes me feel really guilty as I don't have an old phone to give them, my phone is about 3years old, and I will be keeping it til it breaks.

Each Thursday, I have to give DS 3euro so he can go on the bus with the rest of his class for PE. I have no idea why they can't do PE in their classroom or outside on the grass.

Did I mention he is only 4 I have a lot of shelling out to do in the future it would seem

Where in Europe are you Andamm? That is pretty excessive I must say.

I am in Ireland Ariesgirl

Ariesgirl-it's not that parents expect the school to pay for everything(although obviously some will), just that we are finding it tough too and sometimes the school loses sight of this. Lots of little contributions do add up esp if you have more than one child at school. It's also about the way they "ask".

No, I do appreciate that. I agree that many schools could do more to plan and prepare parents in advance. I just wanted to give a bit of perspective from the other side. Speaking from experience, I always found we can engage much more easily with parents if they get together and come forward with suggestions (rare in my school I must say, but then that's my school), rather than talking together in the school gates but nothing actually being said officially. And also there are lots of times when at the start of term planning meeting these things are sent out in advance via a parents' newsletter, many of which don't arrive at their destination. And I also worked in an area where many of the parents' reading skills aren't that great I think so many of the newsletters aren't read. But if I'm understanding right (sorry, haven't read every post) it's the short notice things that annoy you. I think lots of things like this are in response to a natural disaster like Chile or Haiti, or something the kids want to organise eg a Blue Peter sale etc. Sorry, am rambling.

Maisie - Why do you need it all written down at the beginning of the year in order to budget? It ain't rocket science. You have a child or children in school, there's going to be a cost involved.

With regard to whether you contribute or not I mean't with regard to book day etc. If you want your children to go on a trip then of course you pretty much have to stump up. Most schools are trying to rein in the costs, we are parents too after all but this stuff is expensive. I recently costed a trip to our local museum - 5 miles away so a short coach trip and the coach not required to hang around for the day. The charge was still £120 - so for an average class £3 each, plus £6 for the museum and a craft workshop and there you go the trip is already considered too expensive by many parents.

Staff want to give the children the best educational experience they can and I know many members of staff who have paid out of their own pockets for truly needy children so that a whole trip doesn't have to be cancelled.

Thank goodness others feel as I do.

I know lots of things are 'fun' but that doesn't make them essential to a school day.

Having to redirect your money into school trips starts to seriously impinge on how much you can spend outside school on your family for your own holidays/family essentials.

I think sometimes schools forget that there is more to a child's life than what goes on at school. I wish they'd stick to the point a bit more and we'll handle the fun stuff. It's school not a travel agency.

Swimming lessons are compulsory aren't they? I asked for my two not to go as they swim outside of school and had no need, and I can't stop that swimming as they will loose their places. I was told they had to go.
I paid the first time around, but at £52 each we just had to admit we couldn't afford it this time.
Despite me telling the teachers this, I have still had a direct reminder home with each of them, (which they have been able to read and my eldest is really embarrassed about) for my voluntary contribution.
There are also reminders in the weekly newsletter.
This is despite DS1 only going to 2 lessons{shock] due to school football and illness! £26 a lesson nd they only get 20 mins in the pool...
It takes an hour to get to the swimming pool they use- it's ridiculous that swimming is compulsory imo, and shouldn't be in school time.

I have a huge amount of sympathy for you. The begging, cajoling and arm twisting letters started to come home after DD started infants. I would much rather be asked at the beggining of the year for a contribution. I know school funding is always under pressure. I would have more patience if they said " Dear Parent, please can you give us some money so we can teach your child exciting things this year. 50 quid should just about do it. Thank you"

I haven't read this thread all through but on several occasions I have suggested to my DC school that they just set up a standing order from my account and help themselves to save the endless letters coming home

Cleverly - so I can budget? It ain't rocket science to work out why most parents would like to know what's coming up. Unfortunately, there is not much sign of reining in here.

BendyBob's post is excellent. I have no problem with an odd trip to support a term project, but the other 'fun' things have a huge impact on the family's budget and I would prefer that schools focus on teaching, leaving everything else to parents to fund according to the money they have available. It also makes sure that other children in the family don't have to do without while you busy saving for something that the school has decided would be a jolly good wheeze.

Consider how you would feel if no school trips were offered? No GCSE trips to enhance the understanding of the curriculum were planned? No "fun days"? No raising awareness of the importance of giving to charity? No help in guiding pupils towards specific revision books?

I can just imagine the threads - "My childs school never does anything - would be happy to pay but..........."

Maisie - if you don't think what the school is offering supports the curriculum then don't sign the consent and your child doesn't take part. And, yes you can budget - most schools have a mufti at the end of term, most have what, a christmas fair and a summer fair, maybe a couple of discos and a school trip, a charitable event. That wasn't difficult. Put a couple of quid per child in a pot every week. Ask at the office, be proactive instead of negative. If you really can't manage a couple of pounds every week then you are in need and wouldn't be expected to pay anyway.

I agree with you scot. IMO schools can't do right for doing wrong.

actually many of the parents at our school asked for a summary of the major things (not mufti and the likes as most do manage to find £1 or so with a weeks notice) during the school year to be handed out at the start.

This school year they duly obliged, and in the middle of last school year they also started a saving scheme at the school were parents could put a little aside with the school and the money for trips is taken out of that when the time comes.

Saving at home sounds simple.........until you the car fails its MOT, the washing machine breaks, your children need new clothes.......and then it's all too easy to break into the "school" saving money to buy those things.

All those parents that are using the saving scheme at school think its a great idea. And although I don't use it I do to.

And I was one that actively campaigned for a summary to be sent home at the start of the school year to give parents a chance to budget.

"you see them with their five kids, and smoking cigarettes. A pack of 20 fags would pay for one of these trips or treats. "

1 pack of cigarettes £5.50(ish - I believe) if they smoke roll-ups then you're talking maybe £10 a week for someone that smokes a pack a day

5 children @ £5 a trip=£25

My point was that the amount some people spend on unnecessary things could easily be put towards school activities. And my other point was that often people who end up having five kids can ill afford it.

Ask at the office? Tsk, if only I'd thought of that .

Agree with Toccata and others - schools seem to have no real concept of what demands there are on family budgets. I'm not in the habit of trying to second guess what might come up - I want to know what I'm going to be expected to stump up for, and what I need to budget for. Surely not hard to grasp that concept, and not too difficult, given that schools plan these things in advance. Oh, and I'm afraid that a couple of quid a week wouldn't have covered the £400 plus required for a school trip and ski-ing lessons, along with all the other bits and pieces it felt was necessary.

Wow. I don't have a school-age child and am at this

It does seem a massive piss-take. It's not that long since I was at school (10 years or so) and I swear my parents didn't have to pay this much. I went to a state school and a private school. At both all sporting activities were free. Coaches to get places costed nowt. I went on maybe 3 school trips in the whole of my secondary school education, and those were only in Europe and weren't too expensive. My parents could have afforded them, but it never came up.

It must be so hard for people who can't afford all this shit. It's all very well saying 'Well don't contribute then' but it must be heartbreaking for your kid to be the only one who can't contribute.

I agree with Ariesgirl about government funding being the real problem. In a way I think it is introducing privatisation of education by the back door - they know that people will scrape together money so their kid to go on a trip and not make a fuss out of embarrassment.

It is heartbreaking - and it's bollocks to say just don't let them go on the trip or whatever, because no-one wants their child to be the only one left behind and having to go into a class of children they don't know for lessons. It then puts parents in a position of having to try and find the money from somewhere, which can be an incredible pressure for some. As someone said earlier - schools are not a travel agency.