schools constantly asking parents for money

[saslou]

AIBU to resent being constantly asked for money by my childrens school. This week we have World book day, so I am just off out to get costumes as I am not very good at making things. They also have the book fair this week and an author coming into school who will also be giving children the "opportunity" to purchase her books while she is there. I am very happy to buy books but don't think that school is the right place to sell children things.
In addition my childrens school wants parents to pay the insurance and travel costs of compulsory school activities (they don't even ask nicely, just tell you that these are the costs). Recently I got billed for a lost library book that my child hadn't even brought home.
I feel mean because I know they have financial pressures but also feel I am being treated like their own personal cashpiont. It doesn't occur to them that not all parents have lomitless amounts of money.
Anyway, sorry for long rant...

'I do not know one person on benefits who is on the PTA - I mean RL, not the MN bubble.

I was coldtits but whilst me and a friend not on benefits but very empathis tried to fight the mums saying that kids whose aprents hadn;t bpaid for father christmas should be stopped from going, we lost.

luckily Head went eek and pulled it rather than have some kids unable to go becuase mum and dad forgot, or coudln't manage it that week

I was quite incredulous at the attotude of one mum vocifereously arguing aginst *those8 kids tbh.

I think most parents wouldn't mind shelling out for a nice end of academic year trip. It's the endless trips throughout the year, plus all the other extras, plus the cost of the end of year trip that gets many parents (financial) backs up.

We've also never had a letter asking for a voluntary contribution - wonder if it's an English thing? All ours are "this is the cost, if you don't pay they will go into another class and have lessons instead"

I ahve yet to say no to anything, and they also get the chance of music lesons (£30 a term) although ds1 opted out after a few years.

Swiomming was free, as we have a trust fund attached to the school that covers that.

The next hurdle is a trip away in yr6. DS1 can't go, his sn means his nights are too badly affected so the TA saying 'oh he can' is of no value as she doesn't have him overnight (he ahs a severe phobia of sleeping in a bed alone- yeah that'll work then ). But they an't seem to understand that at £X (over a hundred) I am not willing to save up two weeks carers allowance to cover it when I know fors rue he'll be home in 6 hours.

Just not doing it.

DS1 I will as he will get something from it, and that's fine.

Actually teh one that really got me anjnoyed was the teacher who took the boys to the book fayre, asked them to choose books and said Mummy would buy them later.

Cue tears when I turned up later and couldn't becuase it was the end of my student term and I didn't have any spare cash.

Why woudl you do that?

'One year ours went to a local place, where most local children get taken every weekend anyway. They were so disappointed after all the good places the other years went to!

last week of infants boys were taken to Barry Island..... given a survey about trade and asked to draw pictures of rocks, no play or trip to the pleasure beach allowed PMSL.

We had to pay £3 last term for the boys to go to the local tip. Oh they were overjoyed.......

my dc school does this. you do have the choice whether to actually buy what they have chosen but it is hard to say no once they have seen and chosen something they like

I have one child in a state school and one in a private school..I do get fed up with my dd's school asking for money .. between petrol to get the kids to school, train fare for my son, lunch money - it amazes you how much ot adds up..the best thing about my sons school is that each year the parents pay an extra hundred on the fees, that covers all their trips throughout the school year ..Hehas done sailing, swimming, been to the Globe, been on a theatre trip and a couple more daytrips ...
being able to pay it in one instalment that you know is coming is soooo much easier than the constant requests for three or four quid that leap from my daughters bookbag each night ..
after all, how many of dont budget - realistically...It would be so much easier if schools acknowledged that most parents are working to a budget and allowed us to pay either in advance, or monthly..
I got a letter yesterday from my sons school and each time I read the bit that says " the cost of this trip is beng taken from your yearly trip contribution " I feel like Im getting a freebie !!

LittleMrsHappy love your spelling error (or is it?) on the last line of your post - quite apt!

This is not new, I am in my thirties and there were the requests for cakes, raffle prizes, non uniform, book fairs and really expensive trips, loads of sponsered stuff and 20p a week to do cooking. I do remember being a bit embarrassed that Mum nearly always returned the raffle tickets and my book fair choices were always veoted but actually it wasn't that big a deal. She always paid for the trips, which I loved and looking back it was probably a struggle so thank you Mum, I would have been left behind otherwise.

Someone asked about IOW trips being expensive. We went last June, apparently school trip season and observed it all in action. The reason it is expensive is that they go to 3 or 4 attractions every day, and they are not cheap. They seemed to only spend 1 hour at each one, when we were spending the whole day at each one. They were eating pre packaged food, like a carton of juice where we had squash. I bet they couldn't use the buy one get one free type vouchers that all the 'normal' people were using (free in leaflets). Plus each school had it's own holiday uniform of t-shirt/jumper and cap. Must have cost a packet, and they could have just as good a time on a lot less I'd have thought.

It must vary from school to school, because there definitely wasn't the same level of extras when I was at school - and it was a very affluent area, so you would assume that the school would have taken full advantage of the demographics. We had a big trip in P7 to York, and then the end of academic year trips, and that was about it really. Thank goodness, because my parents would not have been able to fund anything more.

I am at the book fair "Mummy will buy them later" - DS's (independent) school handles it better than that - DS (and presumably other children whose parents are not made of money had not sanctioned books being added to the bill) was encouraged to write a list of the books he liked best so that he could put them on a Christmas/Birthday list - which he did, and I bought them all on Amazon for a tiny fraction of what I would have had to pay at the book fair (and yes, I do know the school benefits by getting more books, but the fees already represent the maximum 'contribution' we can afford, so the rest will have to come from better off parents, I am afraid)

I think if you can possibly afford the trips you should be pleased your children have these opportunities. At the end of a school year these trips will be the things they best remember. I know it is hard if you can't afford them. My parents couldn't so I missed many.

My DD's use their own money for extra's like books as it is good to learn the value of money and I'm not a bottomless pit. I also give to charity but encourage them to add some of their own money if they think it is a really good cause - another life lesson that others are less well off then themselves.

My DD's school asks parents to donate their favourite book to the class on their birthday instead of bringing in a cake - they can sign the book and it gets over the dreaded nut allergy.

As an extension to this

we are in London dd is studying Florence Nightingale.
we asked if they were taking them to the FN museum

(not far, they travel on tube so no coach needed etc etc)

and were told 'No they've had a trip out of school earlier this term' (a random play)

Made me feel quite sad actually was going to start a thread about limited outlook, oportunities etc (also felt sad for the museum if it can't attract a school down the road.....)

however it's closed for refurbishment for the next few months

I think most schools provide more than enough opportunities, and certainly don't limit anyone's outlook! If anything, they widen them so much that I actually wonder sometimes a)how the schools thinks working (or any) parents magic the time to make all the nonsensical costumes from b)when they actually do any real work and c)where this money tree that schools think we can just pick from actually grows.

DS1 has just brought home the form for his school trip. He is year 9 and they will be going to France for 6 days.
Cost of this trip £480, I am off to sell a kidney

lol, it was meant to say contributions and somewhat at why I have spelt it that way, have been very very stressed today with 2 dcs being very very poorly.

But I quite like cuntributions lol.

Surely trips with that sort of cost cannot possibly be compulsory, and I cannot imagine that all (or even most) of the class will go at that price. DB's and I never went on any of those sort of trips (apart from in primary school when they were included/subsidised by mad rich owners of school) and I do not honestly feel that I missed out.

It's got easier now that DS is in a fantastic high school, which caters for all budgets from free to several hundreds of pounds and with plenty of choice of trips. In primary, everyone coughed up the £400 odd to pay for the residential trip and the ski-ing lessons. He was the only boy not to go ski-ing, but we couldn't afford it. Horrible when your child is the only one, and it makes me so angry that schools do put families through this - for what?? They get so much nowadays that another trip or activity doesn't even register.

So Maisie your children are studying something there is an excellent resource to help with this available for free just down the road but the school wont go there because they have been out once allready.

I felt it would interest me to know whether this was a common reaction from schools (everyone posting about school trips to NY makes me think not but there again it probably is this being mumsnet and all)

You obviously know my dcs school better than I do however as a parent there I know that if offers a lot less than every other school around here and thought I might get some useful ideas about how to tackle this.

'Tis also sad for the museum!

I was really just posting to point out that the alternative to schools wanting money all the time is to do nothing (as others have said)

I just say no to the incredibly expensive overseas trips in secondary. Last Art trip to Paris, they quoted £350. DS and I went over on Eurostar for two days get one free, had a fantastic time and it cost less for the two of us. We did the Art galleries and the patisseries, result all round.
Didn't bother with the New York one

Coaches are incredibly expensive at the moment, if you think a trip is unreasonably expensive, I'd ask the school for a breakdown of costings.
We have to give 6 weeks notice of daytrips or the head won't authorise it.

"You obviously know my dcs school better than I do" - no idea what you mean there, so right back at you

The alternative to schools wanting money all the time is not doing nothing (and quite frankly, there's nothing to stop you taking your DC to the FN museum if you feel it would be of such benefit), it's achieving a happy medium, being realistic in what parents are expected to pay for, and ensuring best value at all times.

You know, if you don't want to contibute then don't.

Despite what many of you seem to think schools don't do all this for the sake of it or to wind you up - they try to make the most of your child's time in school with what limited budget they have. And believe me it is limited. If you think differently or have ideas to make things better then stop with the wingeing and join the PTA or the governing body. It would be an eye opener. The staff don't profit personally from trips or world book day or mufti or the summer fair; the office staff could certainly do without the effort to count and bank all the bloody 50ps whilst simulatneously fending off parents moaning and complaining. Try to be a bit grateful. Jeez.

Ooops - sorry Riven, didn't realise you had posted in the interim - I was referring to your post By Riven Thu 04-Mar-10 08:32:21

yes, I like the trip to Sainsburys too. And the one to the fire station. And when they bring the guide dogs in. Things don't have to be expensive.

We went on a school trip to a building site (we walked, it was free) and the builders gave us a free pen and let us poke the cement that was just poured for someone's garage .

When I did A level Geography a residential field trip was compulsory. They offered a trip to Thailand, a trip to the South of France or a trip to Durham, Consett and Corby (sp?) which you had to pay for. If you didn't go on any of those you got the free trip to Torquay in January. I can remember my mum going 'it's free, what, you don't have to pay, are you sure??!'. That's how it should be IMO.