schools constantly asking parents for money

[saslou]

AIBU to resent being constantly asked for money by my childrens school. This week we have World book day, so I am just off out to get costumes as I am not very good at making things. They also have the book fair this week and an author coming into school who will also be giving children the "opportunity" to purchase her books while she is there. I am very happy to buy books but don't think that school is the right place to sell children things.
In addition my childrens school wants parents to pay the insurance and travel costs of compulsory school activities (they don't even ask nicely, just tell you that these are the costs). Recently I got billed for a lost library book that my child hadn't even brought home.
I feel mean because I know they have financial pressures but also feel I am being treated like their own personal cashpiont. It doesn't occur to them that not all parents have lomitless amounts of money.
Anyway, sorry for long rant...

Riven, your circumstances are different to many though.

There are many many people who choose a life on benefits and expect the state to provide everything for them rather than actually work to provide for themselves. There are also many who chose to work as few hours as possible to claim max WTC etc.

MmeBlueberry makes some very good points. The more we allow people to live on state support, the more the cycle repeats as they see no reason to break it. Those on benefits/low incomes already get huge state support without additional monies or not paying for things at school.

Germanmum- I think it's a combination of the financial situation AND a culture shift.

We were always very stuck for money when I was in primary (recession, illness in family, unexpected triplets) BUT the family priorities were different. My clothes were always second hand, toys were borrowed or second hand and education was first. I did not for example buy anything like sweets, crisps or a drink from a newsagent until I was in my teens and we walked evrywhere. My parents though when they did have anything spare put it aside for educational needs, books, trips etc. My parents valued education as the way up and out and scrimped to provide it. I only missed out on the bigger trips such as skiing/ residentials etc which were way out of our league. At a number of schools now as SENCO I have seen kids in branded new clothing, good family cars, the latest console game etc. tell me they can't afford £5 towards a trip or to put in £3 to get a visitor for the day. My parents generation wouldn't comprehend this. Things that are now 'rights' for kids were not when I grew up, such as internet at home when they live within 5 min of the library, branded clothes or electronic games. Now they come first! It's always been in my experience that around 1 in 10 non-payers are genuine. 4 kids, each with a ice-cream from the van in one hand and a drink in the other and Mum will be ranting in the office over the yearly £5 PTA contribution and the fact it's asked for. Not, I'll pay what I can but outraged we have the cheek to ask. The old system of the PTA supporting those in hardship has widely disappeared or been radically reduced while on top of spiralling costs in school has really brought this issue into focus.
This isn't saying that this is EVERY parent. We hardly begrudge the mum who is a volunterr reader for us but who can never contribute. She gives way more than her share into the school and we try to help her out in turn. I've just seen literally hundreds of children and families pass through my care in different schools who expect to have everything and give nothing. The PTA may be annoying (who didn't know that) but without them no school can be the same.

Riven-at least the benefits sytem has improved somewhat. When I was a student I did the payroll in a large supermarkt. I was in the position of advising a number of women working part-time on minimum wage that the only real solution to their financial problems was giving up work and going on benefits to increase their income. I'll never forget one woman sobbing because she wan't to be a better role model for her kids by working but couldn't afford to. I would happily increase benefits for those doing some work and provide better access to employment for thos struggling to work or genuinely unable to and take it from the pot for those able but without ANY work (including voluntry). But I'd be shot for suggesting that.
One of the biggest issues for us as a school is parents in need being unaware of their full entitlments or the support out there. There are so many childcare schemes and grants out there that the most in need do not access. For example the home access scheme can pay for the internet/ a computer for those with school age children. The worst cases are children with super low quality packed lunches who should be on free school meals, something only a parent can complete a request for.

Having read the comments yesterday and today I am glad more people are defending the school trip. At the end of a school year what does a child reflect on and have happy memories of? Probably the school trips.. My parents were very poor so I missed most trips and regret that.
They are not usually too expensive as schools get great group rates and opportunities.
Having children means making choices - and choosing to give them a wide range of experiences is the best choice I think you can make. I think we should support the schools, scrape together the money and help on as many trips as possible.
Going back to authors visits, book clubs etc these things can be paid for out of children's pocket money if they want them - or as I do but online as much cheaper. A signed copy is a special thing to keep though.

Your child is entitled to a free school meal full stop. Including one that meets her needs. I know this from the tough experience of organising such meals! One that's kept very quiet is that children on FSM are also entitled to one on trips were they need a packed lunch. Many avoid this though as it does rather highlight who is on FSM with their lunch in a brown bag.

Strawberrykate, I think you are right. As I said my mum had to ask for money but that time we were genuinely in need because my father had stopped paying support and so on so there was no other way besides not letting me take part.
My grandparents, also not very rich, moved mountains for my mum to get an amazing education and told her to always keep up her independence. They sent her to a trip to England once, saved up for ages and borrowed money, because her English was bad and they were aware that she needed to improve. I am still impressed how they did it, considering my mum shared their bedroom till she was 16 (now that's something I wouldn't want to do )

I help out in a primary school once a week and see a lot of kids running around with video games etc, whereas the school is in a really poor area and doesn't do a lot of trips or extra stuff. It's so sad to see children not able to do exciting things but instead sitting around playing video games. It seems wrong to me but there is not much you can do.

I am surprised though you think only 1 in 10 people who need support is genuine. Not questioning you, just being surprised by how low the number actually is. And quite upset!

1/10 is quite reasonable for me to guess. I would say on average there is one child in each class who needs help, e.g. mum has mental illness and isn't coping, they are being brought up by extended family, accomodation is sub-standard, young carer, being brought up by retired grandparents. You know the kids who can't afford decent clothes, walk evrywhere, you get to know families well if you live nearby and are senco/ extended schools manager. Around 2/3 of the average class though NEVER contribute. We stopped giving our hardship help to those on FSM meals a few years back, as we found it wasn't a good indicator of need for various reasons, including widespread abuse of the system (working cash in hand, having a live-in working partner undeclared etc.) Now we assess needs individually and with common sense. The area is poor yes, but not dire. The kids generally live in warm accomodation with no more than 2 children to a bedroom, no problems with food/ clothing/ going out. Tower blocks were torn down 6 years ago and replaced with decent housing. Most are children are sadly deprived or in need because of lack of parental involvement or effort. The majority of kids do not leave the outside outside school hours. Imagine the summer holidays. My only time I have been in trouble as teacher is for losing my temper with a mum who was dressed head to toe in designer gear, nails done, the works who sat there as her poor daughter STANK from unwashed clothing and body odour. I had called her in because I changed her daughter that day as she was crying. Her too tight summer dress which she had sweated into had left red welts in her sides which I saw when I helped prise it off her in the medical room. I was unprofessional, but human in what I said to her.

I am on the PTA at our school and I thinks its sad to hear so many negative comments about PTA.
I don't think its reasonable to expect a school to be able to fund everything. We have been able to purchase things like needed sports equipment and interactive whiteboards. This year we were also able to give the teachers £150 each to purchase materials for their class. I don't believe that these things are frivolous. These things are there to benefit our children.

I have found that the PTA is usually funded and run by the same people all the time. Perhaps if everyone volunteered and donated a small amount then people would be asked for money less frequently.

"Low paid jobs" shouldn't pay more. They should be part of the market economy like everything else. When you try to manipulate salaries, you involve unwelcome government nterference. We already have that with the minimum wage.

A lot of people are satisfied with low paid jobs, for example as a second income, and teenage employees, and immigrant workers.

If someone is the solo breadwinner in a family on a low income, there are benefits to top up their wages.

Helen,

Good point about student memories.

At our school we have special assemblies by Year 6, Year 11, and Year 13 at the end of each year. What do they talk about? Their school trips. They rarely talk about every day in-school experiences.

School visits, especially residential ones, are very impressionable upon the students. When I take away students for a few days, I can see that they have so many opportunities for growing up (the students in my school can be very sheltered, so a visit is a breath of fresh air for many of them).

Paulaplumpbottom The thing is though that when you say schools shouldn't be expected to pay for everything, surely, it should be the government who pays for things like sports equipment and IWBs. They are used as part of the curriculum and therefore whatever the needs of the curriculum are, the LEA should pay for it. IWBs are not actually necessary (just thought of as necessary in our over digitalised world). A perfectly functioning IT suite would be ample and teachers could (shock horror) use chalk boards like they did in the old days (pre 1991!).

Call me pampered and de skilled but I love my IWB, I have taught without one but do a better job with one.

I love my IWB, but could easily teach without it. It is a total luxury. If I were a school manager, I don't think I would fund IWBs.

I don't think IWBs are a necessity but they certainly aid learning and the teachers and the kids love them. They are expensive and I wouldn't expect the government or a school to pay for one in every class room. This is where your PTA comes in. It has taken several years but we have managed to put one in every year and eventually would like one in every class.

I used to despise my IWB.The school bought cheap ones and when they were installed got rid of all the old normal whiteboards, leaving you without anything to write on if the damn thing went down, which was frequent. Also as a supply, when you go into a classroom you often find the teacher has taken his/her laptop home, leaving you entirely without a method of teaching! I do see though how they can really make teaching easier. However, I digress.

That is rubbish, when we moved into our new rooms we were only going to get IWB and no normal boards. You do need both.

The interactive bit of mine is down at the moment and it is driving me mad. I keep having to replan my lessons.

tsap- have you tried it in a different usb port? Sometimes works.

The IT department took my laptop to defrag it and give it an clean up. In doing that they seemed to have deleted the software. I need to just reload it.

Ah, right, they should have put it back for you!

I know but that means handing my laptop back over again, but I use it every day.

I must do it though. I am being daft and an awful procrastinator