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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

schools constantly asking parents for money

309 replies

saslou · 03/03/2010 12:34

AIBU to resent being constantly asked for money by my childrens school. This week we have World book day, so I am just off out to get costumes as I am not very good at making things. They also have the book fair this week and an author coming into school who will also be giving children the "opportunity" to purchase her books while she is there. I am very happy to buy books but don't think that school is the right place to sell children things.
In addition my childrens school wants parents to pay the insurance and travel costs of compulsory school activities (they don't even ask nicely, just tell you that these are the costs). Recently I got billed for a lost library book that my child hadn't even brought home.
I feel mean because I know they have financial pressures but also feel I am being treated like their own personal cashpiont. It doesn't occur to them that not all parents have lomitless amounts of money.
Anyway, sorry for long rant...

OP posts:
mazzystartled · 04/03/2010 10:19

seeker - you asked what people wanted schools to do.

basically - keep a lid on it

keep costs of trips realistic (with a little creativity and using local resources enrichment activities could be more affordable)

stagger fundraising things and think about more effective methods that don't just tap the parents (I am so sick of baking cakes at 2 day's notice for them to be sold for a fraction of the cost of making them)

give parents adequate notice

sarah293 · 04/03/2010 10:19

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PreachyPeachyRantsALot · 04/03/2010 10:23

Eco the criteria for FSM's from our council website is:

Who is eligible for Free School Meals?
Parents who are in receipt of:

?Income Support OR Income Based Job Seekers Allowance;
?Income Related Employment Support Allowance;
?2009/2010 Child Tax Credit (your annual income must be less than £16, 040 for the whole household);
?If you are receiving Working Tax Credit, you will NOT be eligible to receive free school meals;
?National Asylum Seekers Support Benefit;
?Guaranteed State Pension Credit;

Fully get thgat people can end up on IS etc through no fault but banning people trying seems unfair tbh

baskingseals · 04/03/2010 10:27

dd's school recently offered a school trip to the Isle of Wight - 5 days for £300. They had to cancel it in the end, as it was simply too much especially for people with more than one child. Couldn't really understand why it was so expensive.

PreachyPeachyRantsALot · 04/03/2010 10:30

We're paying £270 for a week mid summer on the IoW for 6 this year

TheLadyEvenstar · 04/03/2010 10:45

ohhh the IOW trip that i denied DS1 last year but then they were charging £350

alana39 · 04/03/2010 10:56

We haven't got to the age of swimming yet, but for the last 2 years school has set a figure for the voluntary contribution at the start of the year - £30 - which covers school trips (1 big day out, coach for visit to temple/mosque etc in RE), plays by visiting theatre co at Christmas and end of summer term, actvities in art and science week etc.

You then choose whether to pay all up front, £10 a term or £5 each half term.

There are still all the extras like non-uniform days but those really are voluntary and you don't get singled out if your child is in mufti but has forgotten / can't afford the £1. The planned contributions have really reduced the complaints by parents. There's still the warning that if not enough people pay the things won't go ahead, but seems to work.

Was suggested by parents I think so always worth a try talking to the head.

sarah293 · 04/03/2010 10:59

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coldtits · 04/03/2010 11:12

Our swimming lessons are really cheap. You're all being ripped off substantially. I pay £6 for 10 half hour lessons. They are whole class lessons, no one-to-one, and it's run by the teachers.

Saying that, I'm on IS and I'm the catchment average. If they over charged us, shame just wouldn't come into it. They wouldn't go.

The school tried to run a year 2 one night residential, and although it's cheap at £30, eight out of the thirty year 2 kids haven't gone, mine included. Our school is realistic.

LittleMrsHappy · 04/03/2010 11:15

Ggggrrrr at ds school today, He is off school due to having slapped cheek, phoned school today to say ds wouldn't be in for the rest of the week.

At about 10am, I got a phone call of HM, that ds has not made his "voluntary contribution" to WBD (THEY HAVE TO PAY £1.50 TO WEAR THEIR OUTFIT) and also have to provide a cheque off £5 to get a book of their choice

I told HM, that I haven't paid as dc wont be in doing WBD, due to being poorly! she said, well we assumed you would still pay, as now the school trip to see "on a bear hunt" will need to be canceled as not many parent from the Nursery have made their "voluntary contribution) which was still costing us £7

Not that 14 children are off Nursery (which is not compulsary) with slapped cheek, who will not benefit from WBD as not going to be their but she still "expects" ALL money! [angry}

Also to add, at ds Nursery they do take note of who has contrubuited what, it all gets marked in the cuntrubutions book!

coldtits · 04/03/2010 11:19

Seeker, what people would like the schools to do is not wrap up jollies as compulsory education, and then charge for them anyway. Fine to have jollies, fine yto charge for them. But if the school makes it clear it is a trip for fun, parents won't feel so bad about saying no.

Then, when it comes to compulsory educative trips (like trips to a specific museum 80 miles away, which is going to have 3 weeks work based around it that your child won't understand if they haven't been on the trip) just don't charge at all. And if that means not going, it means not going.

the benefits system in this country is based on the idea that education is free. If the education stops being free, the money has to come out of another part of the budget the government sets as a minimum for someone to live on. It comes out of the clothes budget, the food budget, the money for gas. I do think that PTAs often do not understand this, as I do not know one person on benefits who is on the PTA - I mean RL, not the MN bubble.

rosarugosa · 04/03/2010 11:24

My dd was told by her school that she had to go on an outwards bounds trip at a cost of almost £300 for the week. After refusing to send her and thus pay I was besieged by her HOY pressurising me to pay up!

In the end, I wrote a snooty letter to school stating that the trip is opitonal and if I was meant to pay then I could choose and I chose not to. Never heard from them again and my dd was the only child NOT on the trip!!

Chulita · 04/03/2010 11:55

DD is still titchy so haven't reached this level of Hades yet, but when I did my AS/A2 courses I didn't go on a single trip because my parents worked overseas and I lived with my Grandad - we just couldn't afford it. When I did my O levels I was abroad and couldn't go on a single trip because it was an American boarding school so they just stuck us in a class and we learnt. I didn't fail any of my O levels or AS/A2s so don't let them make you think your teenager needs to go. I did feel like I'd missed out on the £300 weekend to Spain but I soon got over it and most things I wasn't too bothered about missing tbh.
If you have more than 1 or 2 children, £12.50 per child per little outing adds up very quickly. I'm hoping I have the backbone to tell them where to shove it as and when...
And at saltire, where do people get this idea that military families are loaded???

indialily1 · 04/03/2010 13:17

i dont mind paying for the trips, but what really annoys me is when its the same parents paying for the voluntary trips all the time!! I appreciate some of the parents are on benefits, but we are also on a tight budget as well, we both work ,and we still pay.

FabIsDoingPrettyWell · 04/03/2010 13:27

My son goes swimming and I pay approximately £35 per half term. I asked dh for a fiver the other day as I had run out of cash and he was really surprised as he thought the swimming was free. I had lessons through school and they must have been free then as no way would my foster mother would have paid.

RustyBear · 04/03/2010 13:41

If schools go to local places, many parents will complain because their children have been there before. If they go further away many will complain of the cost. Often they are the same parents.....

lulu2 · 04/03/2010 14:00

my dd's yr 1 school trip is £15, which i think is steep considering the museum they are visiting is free admission.

ageing5yearseachyear · 04/03/2010 14:21

when older 2 were at lower school it was more the unrelenting random requests that got me as much as the money.

by the time number 2 had finished, i just binned a lot of it without actually reading it- i just ran out of energy. i didnt mind the once a year school trip. If they have been there before it is still all new and fun going with a coach load of friends.

what i couldnt bear was non uniform days, come to school dressed in green/pink/blue. send in money for random activities or swimming. send in plastic bottles/a kite/a teddy/jamjars etc etc etc. What made it worse was that as mine went to afterschool club and i didnt pick them up I never knew until about 5 mins before. at the end of each term the teacher would helpfully empty dds drawer into her bag and i would get 15 letters telling me this stuff. As classrooms were locked, unable to get this in any other way.

god, amazing how much this stills annoys me- hope that i will be better at it when dd3 starts in a few years.

oh, and in my humble opinion- telling kids to wear odd socks to school and demanding £2 off your mum is not fundraising for the third world. (should be a miserable cow emoticon)

MaisietheMorningsideCat · 04/03/2010 14:22

I wonder why more councils don't have their own pool of buses, instead of relying on local coach companies who must rub their hands in glee at the contracts.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who questions the amount of money that schools ask for. As an earlier poster says, much of what is 'offered' is nothing more than a jolly for the kids, and often completely OTT and unnecessary. We didn't have nearly as many trips/dress up days/charity days/school photos/project demonstrations/sports trips/field trips/meet the author days/sponsored walks and so on and on and on 20/30 years ago. Do we all feel neglected and deprived? Do we b*ggary.

RustyBear · 04/03/2010 14:39

Lots of the trips to free museums will have special sessions with a member of staff, which have to be paid for, as well as the train/coach.

heckythump · 04/03/2010 14:59

I can understand that, Riven. It must be hard. BUT the school are not at liberty to disclose anything as that would be discrimination.

(Nonetheless I do understand that it's a hard stance to take).

FranSanDisco · 04/03/2010 15:06

I think so many people don't pay that the voluntary amount goes up - for instance dd is going by coach to a religious shrine quite local to the school (10 mins drive) and the voluntary contribution is £4.00 a child. Usually they get a double decket coach which takes both classes 60 kids and adults; is a coach really £240.00 through the LA for an afternoon?

ageing5yearseachyear · 04/03/2010 15:44

just remembered the most unreasonable, ridulous request.

this was at middle school.

opposite the school is a "water side park"- filled in quarry.

we were asked to pay, if i remember correctly £3.00 each for them to go to said park with a teacher for some geography related issue. This is a park that is truly 30 yards from the front gate. it was for "insurance"

now, fgs, surely the education authority should be capable of arranging a suitable annual blinkin policy and it should be paid for out of the taxes as part of the cost of running the school. Just the admin cost of collecting £3.00 from each of 120 kids is mad. seriously how can it cost £360 to insure kids against a trip across one road to a park that they have played in since being tiny tots.

sarah293 · 04/03/2010 15:55

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BalloonSlayer · 04/03/2010 17:41

"If schools go to local places, many parents will complain because their children have been there before. If they go further away many will complain of the cost. Often they are the same parents....."

One year ours went to a local place, where most local children get taken every weekend anyway. They were so disappointed after all the good places the other years went to!