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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 7 is old enough to stay with an aunty for the weekend?

87 replies

cuspish · 02/03/2010 10:28

My niece is 7, I have a brilliant realtionship with her. I'd love for her to come and stay for a weekend. My sister thinks she's too young.

Now fair enough, not going to argue with my sister, her daughter so her choice. But how old is old enough?

Btw, few more facts. My niece is a capable comfident 7 year old. The oldest of 3. They live a four hour drive away and we've offered to pick her up and take her home. My sister has never left any of her kids overnight, not even with family.

OP posts:
compo · 02/03/2010 10:30

she does sound a bit precious
my ds started staying with my inlaws for a few nights since the age of nearly 3, lol

HellBent · 02/03/2010 10:31

I think it is up to your sister TBH.

Perhaps she has a problem with her being away for a whole weekend if she has never been away from home before, or that you are 4 hours away?

How often do you visit normally if you have a brilliant relationship?

HellBent · 02/03/2010 10:33

FWIW my DS 5 and DD 3 have had sleepovers before at my parents, sisters and MIL's so I think she'd be fine, but they all live around 10 minutes away and were needed for babysitting rather than for fun

StealthPolarBear · 02/03/2010 10:33

this has touched a nerve
DS is staying at mum's tonight this is the first time we've ever left him without needing to - weddings, illness, giving birth, this is just for fun
the guilt has started...

skinsl · 02/03/2010 10:33

my nieces 7 and 3, have been to stay with me and my sister, came with grandma on the train. they live 4 hours away, eldest gets very excited about coming to to London. they have stayed overnight with grandma tons of times though.

diddl · 02/03/2010 10:34

I would say 7 is plenty old enough especially as she knows you well.

But I suppose you just have to hope she changes her mind soon.

Has she given a reason or just said no?

Original poster
cuspish · 02/03/2010 10:35

It is totally up to my sister, I'm not going to argue with her, I'll just keep offering. Was just wondering what others thought was old enough.

I Saw my niece about a dozen times last year. Yes it may be the distance.

OP posts:
Jackstini · 02/03/2010 10:36

I went to London with my Auntie for the weekend when I was & and loved it. She did the same for all her nephews/nieces. (Although my sister was more of a home bird, so just had a weekend at my Auntie's house instead!)
dd (nearly 4) stayed at her Gran's last month for 1 night for the first time and was fine.
Maybe book a Travelodge or somewhere cheap much closer to her home and have an exciting 1 night holiday?!

wishingchair · 02/03/2010 10:37

Maybe your niece isn't ready. It isn't just your sister's choice but hers too. My dd has slept over at friends for a night but we are only 5 mins away. She herself might feel a bit wobbly at the thought of being so far away. 7 is still very little.

Original poster
cuspish · 02/03/2010 10:39

She says she's too young and we're too far away.

Nice idea about booking a hotel nearby. Will keep that in mind for the future.

OP posts:
ShinyAndNew · 02/03/2010 10:41

My 6 year old is going to Leeds for the weekend at easter to stay with my aunty. I haven't been invited . I have an awfull feeling she is going to come back accompanied by a kitten. Apparently they sell them in pet shops there.

She went to stay overnight in Manchester with her when she was four. She talked about it for months afterwards. There was a cafe that sold just pancakes, and you had to get in the lift to get to Aunty X's flat, and they had a shop that sold just Disney things etc etc etc.

She went to Center Parcs with my family for a whole five days when she was little more than three.

She is very close to all of my family. I think it's great.

chandellina · 02/03/2010 10:42

I suppose it depends on the child but 7 in itself seems a perfectly acceptable age. My eldest niece was 7 when she went away for the first time to stay for several days with me and my mother (her grandmother), a five hour drive from home (I drove her), and she was fine. Her siblings as young as 5 have since gone for their own week with granny and also enjoyed it.

ShinyAndNew · 02/03/2010 10:42

We live in Teesside btw, so Leeds and Manchester are quite a while away.

GibbonInARibbon · 02/03/2010 10:43

My DD (3) has stayed with my parents a good few times and adores it. Don't feel guilty Stealth, enjoy the rest

Have to say DD has never stayed anywhere else other than with my parents and I wouldn't be comfortable with her doing so. At 7 though? not sure, would depend on whether DD reall wanted to go.

GoddessInTheKitchen · 02/03/2010 10:44

sounds like my dd shiny, its nice for them to be close to all the family and we get a break! yay

Original poster
cuspish · 02/03/2010 10:45

I teach 7 year olds, and she's not a young 7 year old. Fairly typical I'd say. very socially confident, sometimes abit sensitive and emotional. Like her aunty!

OP posts:
2old4thislark · 02/03/2010 10:45

If you have a close relationship and she's confident at 7 she should be fine.

Some mums just don't like letting go but there's not a lot you can do to change her mind. The auntie/niece relationship can be lovely. I had a great relationship with my favourite auntie until she died but I think my mum was jealous. That may be what's really being her reluctance.

The distance probably doesn't help tho.

HellBent · 02/03/2010 10:45

My sis has 2 kids as well, niece is 8 and nephew is 4. Neice goes to the same school as my DS and nephew goes to same nursery as my DD. Kids are very close and I often do drop offs and pick ups and sister does the same for me. I'm not sure I'd let them stay at someone's house for a weekend if they'd only seen them a dozen times in the past year. Sorry

skinsl · 02/03/2010 10:46

stealth, me and my brother and sister used to stay at my gran's every Friday night. We used to love it, live for it. And I think we had a very special relationship with her , and am crying now, cos she died 3 years ago. But still wanted to stay over when I was 15!

SJaneS · 02/03/2010 10:46

She is old enough at seven - but it sounds like your sister has some issues over letting go. At the end of the day, she is her Mum so however annoying this may be you just have ti roll with it.

megapixels · 02/03/2010 10:47

Maybe your sister thinks it's not necessary for her dd to go away for a weekend even if it's what you'd like. I don't know, I'm not particularly keen on my kids going off anywhere overnight, unless they seem to want it.

wishingchair · 02/03/2010 10:49

It's not about being a "young" 7 year old. My DD is 7 and I wouldn't say she is a young one and her friend definitely isn't. Very confident. But at a sleepover she is always in tears at not being with her mum at bed time.

There IS a difference between being socially confident and fully comfortable with the idea of being a long way from home.

All I'm saying is this might not all be your sister's choice.

Original poster
cuspish · 02/03/2010 10:50

Just to stress, I definately am not going to argue. Totally my sisters call! I know that! Was just wondering if I was being unreasonable to ask, and what was considered old enough. It's intersting Reading others responses. Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
cuspish · 02/03/2010 10:53

Yes right enough, it may be my niece. But I don't know that cause I'd never ask my niece before ok ing it with my sister!

Nice to know though that it's not a completely out there suggestion!

OP posts:
EggyAllenPoe · 02/03/2010 10:57

it is up to your sister.

although mine has been staying with dsis first time aged 15m..

that was really up to me cos i was happy with that!

if you can't really do anything that wouldn't annoy her to change her mind, then her decision is the one that goes...