to not want to help parents to wean a 12 week old baby mindee?

[Bumnoise]

I posted this in here instead of the CM thread in hope of more replies/advice.
Mindee is 12 weeks old (PFB)

Parents have started to wean this week and expect me to force feed this poor mite with gloop when clearly it's too early.

AIBU to refuse and how do I get it across without coming over all sanctimonious and preachy and also without completely ruining the working relationship?

I have had 2 wonderful CM's until going on leave with DS2. IMO, CM's are not paid just to carry out parents wishes - they play an important role in your child's life, and you should be prepared for them to share advice and guidance with you. I would not be remotely offended if my CM had raised such an issue with me. My second CM in particular was incredibly helpful in respect of toilet training, for example, and supported me in doing it at the right time for DS1 which made it a very smooth and easy process. YANBU

My DD and DS still had a full complement of milk at 6 months and then I maybe gave them a small bit of mashed banana.

Could never come at the processed rice cereals etc.

Then they had mashed potato, pumpkin etc.

They both grew up strong and healthy and both love their fruit and vegetables.

I have a photo of my DD on her christening day (she was 7 months) eating a chicken drumstick with the skin taken off.

She still had her full quota of milk first though.

Didn't really answer the OP's quetion.

You have every right as a qualified carer to query the value of giving solids at this early age.

If parents still insist, give the baby lots of milk and watered down goop.

I guess the reality is that they are paying you as a professional carer and within reason you have to follow their wishes.

ahundredtimes, both DH and i were walking & talking at 9 months and reading at 2
according to our parents

The point being that OP doesn't believe this to be within reason.

To answer the original OP - you can't go against the current guidlines (unless told to do so for medical reasona) regardless of the parent's wishes - though you seem to have sorted out your approach already :-)

...Just had to add that 2 of my 3 children were established walking at 9 months - the other didn't crawl, walk ANYTHING till 18 months - then she got up & ran across the room

its early, it were 4/5 months Id say YABU bit 12 weeks is very young, stand your ground but only if you are prepared for a fight!

Sorry for the late reply, we've been struck down with a D&V bug

Update!

Mum talked to HV who was most put out I had dared question them and mum says she didn't really offer much real advice just pouring scorn on me being involved and that they should do what they feel best. I gather she is quite old school then to not be promoting the guidelines herself.

They have read the links I sent them and are discussing it and I have told them that if need be I understand they may wish to move their baby but I really hoped it wouldn't come to that, but in the meantime anyway they are still carrying on with feeding 3 meals a day to baby. I'm still closed for another 24 hrs so won't have baby again till next week so have asked them to decide a plan of action by the weekend.

Either they want the baby carrying on with 3 meals a day in which case they will need to find someone else, or get someone in to feed the lunch as I refuse to until at least 17 weeks, or drop the lunchtime food for now, or leave

Good for you sticking to your guns Bumnoise - let us know what they decide. As for HV

indeed. I am due on a training session soon that a HV is doing a talk on behaviour, would it be unprofessional of me to pull her aside after for a quick chat if it's her?!

My health vistor said try weaning at 4 months which I did with a little baby porridge, rice etc,ds quite liked it. These "guidelines "change all the blardy time, whilst I would say 6 weeks is a bit early some babies are ready at 16weeks. We are back to the one size fits all crap, there are no easy answers coz amazingly all babies are different.

you could pull her aside bumnoise, but she wont breach confidentiality.

Doubt you'll be able to have that conversation with her and tbh you do come across as a bit interfering.

Outside of the mn bubble people generally dont get so het up over weaning times and other things that are big issues on here.

As a cm it may be worth remembering that and perhaps if you do want to stick to your principles you should make them very clear to prospective users of your service before they settle their child with you.