annoying woman - would you tell an acquaintance this?

[Clary]

Bumped into a mum I know - not really a friend tho I have known her a while - this am and asked after her DS who is now in yr 2.

"Oh he's doing really well - and he's on the G&T register! Yes, for reading and for ICT! blah blah blah" lots more info about prodigal DS.

I was a bit tho I said oh yes, he's such a good reader isn't he. I am certainly very abotu G&T in primary schools for a number of reasons; but even if I thought it was wonderful I don't think I'd randomly boast about it to a passing mum.

Would you?

well you did ask....

I only asked how he was doing in school tho. As in, is he settling into the year OK etc (yr 2 a big step I always think).

I think she's one of those people who tells you (at length) exactly how she is when you ask "how are you?" IYKWIM.

In which case yes, it's me own fault

If you were not interested you shouldn't have asked.

Really! I would never randomly tell someone this tbh.

Well will learn not to ask in future!

She wasn't randomly telling you, you asked her directly how he was doing in school.

You also ask her "how are you" and don't want to hear the response!

If I was asked either of these questions, I would feel as though I should give you a proper response.

I can't help but feel that if she had said that her DS was on an IEP as he was a bit behind with x, y, z, that it would have been more acceptable for you to hear!

I hate those people when you say 'how are you?' or 'alright?' and they actually tell you how they are and if they are alright or not in great detail.

Just say 'fine' or 'yes', fine or yes. Nothing else.

Why did it wind you up?

You asked- she told you.

She sounds like a right cow-bag to be proud of her child lol!

That's nice redcrane

I was really asking for general etiquette I guess.

I said "how is James doing" expecting the answer "oh fine, how about your Matthew?".

I suppose I wouldn't boast but if it's what's done, maybe I'll learn not to ask unless I really want to know all about it (which I didn't, was just passing the time of day).

For all you know, she might have previously been worried about his development and now be thrilled to bits that he's doing well, and therefore want to tell everyone.
Don't you want to tell the world when your DC do something wonderful?
After all, you did ask her.

I think the "niceness" of my post was on a par with the "niceness" of your OP. I felt it was an appropriate response and if you read the rest of the replies, there are more raised eyebrows at your behaviour than the behaviour of the woman you were talking to.

Jealous much?

YANBU.
it's the same as asking someone 'how are you' and being told every detail of every ailment they've had since the last time you met.

Right OK ladies, I hear you, IABU. Will take medicine and not ask again

what's the G&T register?

Gifted and Talented

Clary, you did post in AIBU. The OP is always, always wrong in AIBU.

Maybe she mistook you for someone who would be capable of being happy for her?

OP: you asked "AIBU?" but you obviously don't really want to hear a reply to any question that you ask so ...

So if you'd asked me and I'd said ds is really struggling, would you have been on here complaining that you were given too much information?

Or is it only if other children are cleverer than yours that any information is too much information?

How bloody weird that some of you ask "how are you?" and don't expect a proper answer? What's the point in asking then?

She has said Right OK ladies, I hear you, IABU.

Would you give her a break.

For what it's worth Clary, I know what you mean. A quick two minute response about how brilliantly he's doing - fine. Not wanting to stand there for ten minutes listening to the minute details of his brilliance does not make you a jealous cow who wishes the child was backward and difficult.

Doesn't sound random though, you asked!
I personally never see a problem with people boasting about their kids. They're proud of them, let them boast.
I always think of gin and tonic when i see G+T! (don't know what that says about me )

If people I don't know well ask me 'how are the children' I would usually just say 'oh, they're fine, getting big and bold' or whatever. I wouldn't give a huge account of how they're doing. It's like bumping into a casual acquantance in the shops who asks you 'so how are you. What have you been up to'. You know they don't really want a detailed account, it's just a social nicety.