to be considering a degree when my child is under 5?

[AliBean]

I want to train to be a midwife. I will have to do an access course as I haven't done any academic study within the last five years so if I start this course in September my DS will be 12 months and if I am lucky enough to get a place on the degree course straightaway then he will be 2 when this starts...
Mt Mother thinks I am mad and I should put it off until my DS is 5 and if I want any other children (I do) I should wait until they are 5 too...so potentially wait 8 years before I start studying.
Her opinion is that children under 5 need their mothers and I am being selfish to want to study while I have a small child. Her opinion is also coloured as she did a similar access to nursing course when I was a teenager (13 years ago) and she said it was extremely hard and she found juggling my sister and I with the workload very hard.
I think it is better for me to get cracking with the course so I am qualified by the time my DC are school age and can start earning to be able to support my family and take some of the burden from my DP who is quite alot older than me (47 to my 28) - I don't want him to feel he has to be the principle breadwinner into his 60's.
Am I being unreasonable and selfish?

Get cracking and good luck !

Thanks jasper. Does anyone agree with my mum or is she the minority?

Started my degree when my son was 5 months old. Graduated when he was four. Both started school on the same day. (I am a teacher)One of my most precious memories is having my son at my graduation. Go for it!

I don't think there's ever a perfect time to do something like this so I'd just say get on with it now!! Just because you're mum struggled does not mean you will and I think far from being selfish you are planning for a better future for your family. FWIW, my next door neighbour is in her final year of a degree and she has 4 children age 15mths, 2.5, 5.5 & 7 and she says the younger the children are the easier it is to study around them as at least they sleep longer

Good luck
LCN

I would wait personally, until your dc's are in school. I was doing a degree in speech and language therapy and had to give up because I felt my family was suffering, due to the workload and placements. I imagine midwifery is heavy on placements and coursework. If you feel you can manage it, then go for it. Good luck with your decision.

It's your life - and the livelihood of your family - not your mum's. She is, maybe with the best will in the world, putting her own regrets / issues on to you.
I am studying for a MSc and have a toddler at home and have not lost the plot yet!
As jasper says, get cracking!

I'm doing a pgdip with three dc under 5. It's hard but possible. Will be doing a pgce when youngest is three. You can make it work. Your dc will be very proud of you.

Well I started my degree when my dds were 8 and 5. I did it part time whilst I also worked and so finished when they were 14 and 11.

I can honestly say that it was no easier when they were any particular age, it was just different. E.g. at first I would study when they went to bed but as they got older and stayed up later they were also able to understand that sometimes they just had to leave me alone to work.

I'd say that the main issue will be how much support you will get from your DP and wider family. If they are happy to look after your DS when you need to get on with your studies then you will be fine.

Time managment is the key. I personally found Christmas the hardest as I had to make Christmas happen and deal with a heavy workload of assignments that had to be submitted straight after the holidays.

Go for it - what have you to lose?

I agree that it is easier to fit in time to study with younger children who sleep more.
I dont think you are being unreasonable, or selfish.

Do it now, and leave the old fuddy-duddys in the last millenium.

I knew various people who were either single parents or Services (so not single, but couldn't rely on DPs) on my AHP degree.

I think that it is important to remember that it is pretty much a full-time course (the midwifery degree, not the access course) in terms of 37.5+ hours per week, and with very few weeks off per year in comparison to non-health degrees. Also, you need to work out how you're going to cover the shifts (although it does mean that during placement you may have whole days to yourself). I know my uni's attitude (to pretty much all the AHP/nursing students) was 'you knew about the hours before you started', so it might be worth making enquiries to your local uni.

I wouldn't let that put you off the access course though - midwifery courses can be hard to get onto, and the Access course will be valid for 2/3 years as 'recent study'.

education will benefit you and the family.dont be put off by dismissive comments.and of course it adds to your confidence,greater earning,sense of satisfaction from a vocational degree

good luck

I started my PhD 6 months ago part time when my youngest was 6 months old. It's always a good time to start a new career! If you want to do it go for it. Working makes me a better mother - I'm much more patient and they really don't suffer being in childcare.

I submitted my PhD the day before my son was born (when DD was almost 3).
I am now studying for a medical degree and my children are 2 and almost 5.
If you have support from your partner and reliable childcare then you can do ANYTHING.

And, on a practical note, it is much easier to study/work full time/do placements while children are at nursery then when they start school - arranging before/afterschool care is a bit of a nightmare IME!!

Yes I agree, go for it. This is the 21st century. I have 3 ds's and am doing a FT sociology&criminology degree. It is much easier to manage ds3 who can be at nursery til 6pm if needed but the older two are at school til 3.05pm and 3.30pm so juggling different types of childcare is the hardest for me. I have recently had my first semester work returned to me, 2 A's and 3 B's, reinforced the fact that it's the best thing I've done for a long time
Good Luck !

Go for it! I'm just finishing a full time Masters and I have a 2 yesr old. There's never a good time, when your DC are in school you'll be too busy running them round to activities to study.

How exciting Alibean-go for it I am starting MSc in September and have 3 dc under 5 and my sister did a degree with 4 dcs as a single parent (they were older but, imo, more demanding as slept less)!
I feel it is easier when they are smaller as although the "awake" times are intense you do get more time in the evenings esp if you have a routine-older children (based on my sisters experience) tend to have more after school activities etc so you may have more demands on you when lo is older!
Good luck and go with your gut feeling

I would normally say just go for it but...my friend has done a similar course and found the academic side of it doable but the placements very, very hard. Some of them were 30 odd miles away and she had to do long days and night shifts. You need really good support to manage this. She has parents, pil and her sister helping her and her dh out with childcare. Just worth thinking about but good luck .

Not selfish at all - go for it! There is never a good time to return to education - there will always be reasons to not do it. And, yes, I do believe it is better to get back into your career now, when your kids are young.My Mum did, when my sisters and I were 3,6&11. And she was so glad she did it. We didn't see her as an 'absent Mum'. We saw her as a strong role model . She still is our 'Mummy', our rock. But she is also the woman who inspired us to be strong women, independent and tough.
You will instill these values in your children.
You will instill a strong work ethic.
Your children will thank you for this. You cannot be a happy parent, unless you are happy in yourself!!!

I was pregnant with ds while in second year. He is now nearly 11mo and im just about to finish 3rd year and head into 4th. Its been hard work but my dh has been a star.

Id go for it!

I just finished my PhD and had two babies during it. Actually that is not recommended