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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be considering a degree when my child is under 5?

92 replies

AliBean · 23/02/2010 21:51

I want to train to be a midwife. I will have to do an access course as I haven't done any academic study within the last five years so if I start this course in September my DS will be 12 months and if I am lucky enough to get a place on the degree course straightaway then he will be 2 when this starts...
Mt Mother thinks I am mad and I should put it off until my DS is 5 and if I want any other children (I do) I should wait until they are 5 too...so potentially wait 8 years before I start studying.
Her opinion is that children under 5 need their mothers and I am being selfish to want to study while I have a small child. Her opinion is also coloured as she did a similar access to nursing course when I was a teenager (13 years ago) and she said it was extremely hard and she found juggling my sister and I with the workload very hard.
I think it is better for me to get cracking with the course so I am qualified by the time my DC are school age and can start earning to be able to support my family and take some of the burden from my DP who is quite alot older than me (47 to my 28) - I don't want him to feel he has to be the principle breadwinner into his 60's.
Am I being unreasonable and selfish?

OP posts:
jaquelinehyde · 28/02/2010 00:30

Hi sorry haven't read the whole thread, but want to add my two pence worth.

I have 3 DC's two 4 year old (6months between them) and a 2 year old.

I am currently in the second year of my degree (having completed GCSEs and an Access course prior to the degree) and couldn't be happier.

My DCs are happy (most importantly) and I am happily achieving a 2:1 average, so that should be a first be the end of the degree. And as a bonus my children use going to Uni as part of their role play!! This means nothing but it make me happy that they are using the phrase Uni/university so early on in life.

Go for it...I would tell anyone the same...lthe best decision I ever made!

Momma23 · 28/02/2010 02:02

I have 3 children under 4 and i am doing childcare, yes hard at times trying to get work done hence being up late to get assignment done. but i love it. My kids dont suffer as i study at night.

go for it if you feel you can deal with the course work and home life. Once you start you will fit everything into place.

runnybottom · 28/02/2010 02:06

I have 3 under 5 and and 2/3rds through my degree. Which is why I am up now at 2am writing a feckin essay. Or not,as I'm here.

YANBU, if thats what you want, do it. Its hard and often you'll wonder why you are torturing yourself, but ultimately it will pay off and how proud your children will be of you!

spybear · 28/02/2010 08:04

Really don't want to be negative about the whole midwifery thing but.... I am coming to the end of my accses, I started it with a view to going on to midwifery but have changed my mind. Midwifery is so hard to get into. Around here they wont even interview you if you haven't had any hospital experience. There are 350 applicants to every 30 places. Only one women on my course has been accepted and so many who have relevant exp and who I thought would be wonderful midwives have been turned down.

NiceShoes · 28/02/2010 15:46

Yes,midwifery is competitive but apply knowing that and have a back up plan!Try shadow a Midwife for day or do some relevant voluntary experience.But yes some courses are very competitive,and realistically you apply knowing that.

Original poster
AliBean · 28/02/2010 17:01

I have spoken to the admissions officer at the Uni I plan to attend and asked what would help my application - she said some voluntary work would help but it is really the interview and applicant suitability that swings it for them....
Would it be sensible to do the access course and perhaps arrange some voluntary work to run alongside it to show my commitment to the profession? I was thinking it would be good to do the brest feeding peer support training... does anyone else have any ideas for relevant things I could do or learn beforehand (bearing in mind that DS is still BF and very much with me at all times at the moment!)
I also currently don't live anywhere near a hospital at the moment so will struggle to volunteer to work on wards or similar...we are planning to relocate before I apply to uni to make it feasible as currently we are over an hour from both the uni and any hospital!

OP posts:
RedRedWine1980 · 28/02/2010 17:27

Im nearly at the end of my course training to be a children's nurse. My son was 9 months and my daughter 32 months. It has been hard but do-able because ive been comitted. Dont let time or tide get in the way of your ambitions x

RedRedWine1980 · 28/02/2010 17:29

Also to spybear only 15 people get picked for children's nursing ever year at uni and im not better than anyone else who get picked for an interview- I just knew how to sell myself to the interviewers!

clemette · 28/02/2010 19:07

Alibean, have you thought about contacting your local NCT teachers. They may be happy for you to observe some classes. Also, do you have a surestart centre near you? You could also volunteer to help run any baby groups there. Training in aromatherapy, baby massage or breastfeeding support would also be good.
It was my NCT work that got me a place in medical school.

supersalstrawberry · 28/02/2010 19:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ninjacat · 28/02/2010 19:30

I did a degree with a three year old in tow. Tough going but do-able.
Best of luck

NiceShoes · 28/02/2010 19:36

Many vocational courses are competitive,because they offer employment and a level of job security.If You really want to do this degree you apply knowing it is competitive and try make your application stand out.

Good luck

PamelaTroglodytes · 28/02/2010 19:40

YANBU

I tried to enrol on an access course when my daughter was 11 months old, but just missed out on funding for childcare.

I did two years of a degree with the OU and am now in my first year at a 'brick' University, dd is now three years old, and I am a lone parent.

It's certainly do-able, and whilst it's not easy it's very much worth it. Good luck!

ChippingIn · 28/02/2010 21:20

I think people are still missing the point that a midwifery degree is so different in that there is a lot of placement time. A lot of time on shifts, in hospitals etc - you need a lot of support and childcare. To me, this is the sticking part - do you or do you not have enough 24 hour support to enable you to do all of the placement time? Doing a regular degree when you can plan around the uni (day) times and working at home at night, in the weekends to study is not the same.

RedRedWine1980 · 28/02/2010 21:22

I am certainly not missing the point- ive done it so have many other mums in my cohort!

scottishmummy · 28/02/2010 21:28

midwifery degree has placements/shift pattern that reflects the realities of the job.imagine Alibean knows this and will plan childcare accordingly

pinkheart · 28/02/2010 22:02

i dont think we're missing the point chipping in, i did a 3 yr radiography degree when my ds1 was 2. it is doable. shift work comes part and parcel of most healthcare based degrees. i think Alibean realises this, also having watched her mother do the same thing.
I do agree that midwifery is hard to get into, when i did my degree only 13 people were on the course.
alibean, have you considered doing nursing and then once qualified you can then do the midwifrey training on secondment. thats how a lot of the student midwives at my work place are training.

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