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AIBU?

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Original poster

In not knowing exactly what it is that DH does at work?

139 replies

Shodan · 22/02/2010 23:05

I mean, obviously I know the basics. He works with computers.

He always wears a suit to work.

And he very often works late at night (in the sitting room) which leads to him being asleep all evening the next day. As now.

Today I noticed he was wearing a tie as well as the suit. Aha, thinks I, Something Big was happening today. So I asked him. Did Something Big happen today?

He looked a bit hurt, frankly, and then spent fifteen minutes telling me what he had, apparently, already told me last night.

And, like last night, it went in one ear and out the other.

So I still don't know exactly what he does.

Am I a Bad Wife?

OP posts:
GoldenSnitch · 23/02/2010 15:23

At last your OHs will explain to you what they do at work!! If I ask mine he says "It's technical"!!

I do know his job title though. He is a Z O/S Systems Prorgrammer. I know this means he spends a lot of time talking in acronyms and staring at black screens with coloured writing on. I think this has something to do with IBM.

He wears a shirt and tie. Suits are for special meetings. He also has random days off at other sites to do "Disaster recovery" which involves making copies of everything somewhere else in case his building gets blown up or flooded or something and I am pretty sure is less exciting than it sounds

It pays the bills and he seems to be rather good at it as he has his own team and a company car.

I, on the other hand, have a degree in Industrial Design and Development - even I'm not sure what that means ;)

Much happier being a SAHM now.

Favourite quote so far has to be "Unless your job has a uniform that is available as a child's fancy dress costume then no-one should be expected to know what it is." So true!

SexyDomesticatedDad · 23/02/2010 18:33

Shodan - yes costing tools, margin assessment, cost reduction tracking blah blah blah.

Now new project on SAP BO XI with a bit of BO and DW (no not my DW) thrown in too - guess I have to go figure it all out. SAP consultants can get paid mega bucks so maybe a new career path awaits.

Original poster
Shodan · 23/02/2010 18:45

Aha! SAP! that was it.

That's what SIL does.

I think she must do fairly well as the Maldives figure regularly as a holiday destination.

GoldenSnitch- IBM is mentioned sometimes in the Shodan house.I can't remember why. But I know DH doesn't work for them- he works for a different acronym.

OP posts:
Pogleswood · 23/02/2010 19:49

Dh also does something with computers,but luckily he does it for the government,so I just say that if asked!
I do try to follow when he talks to me about work,but it does tend to go in one ear and out the other,especially as he comes home and wants to tell me about it while I cook dinner,supervise homework,revision,baths,music practice...
I also have trouble with his colleagues as he works with lots of women,mainly,who all seem to have the same 2 or 3 names!
Pictures would help...
I have an easily describable job working with 4 other people,so he has it easy.

blueshoes · 23/02/2010 21:06

Because IT as a field is so wide with so many different roles and specialities and technologies to boot, it can be difficult (and boring) for an outsider looking in.

I know exactly what dh does - he is a lawyer like me, but in a different field. Dh, however, only has the vaguest idea what I do ... something in the City.

beeny · 23/02/2010 21:11

Dh is a lawyer and so am I he cant pretend all his cases are tough cos I know when he is talking rubbish.

TheFallenMadonna · 23/02/2010 21:18

I know what DH does. I put his reports into English, rather than techno-speak, for him. I also coached him in biology when he moved from making machines that made drinks cans into medical devices. Now he feels the need to lecture me on biological molecules every now and again

megapixels · 23/02/2010 21:29

I know what he does (he is in IT too), but I am not interested in all the minute details. I just nod and pretend to be listening. I (sort of) know the names of the projects he's working on at any moment and a few of his team mates on them, that is quite enough for me. He works from home all the time, drives me nuts and I look forward to his foreign trips as that's the only time he ever gets out.

lolapoppins · 24/02/2010 08:56

Megapixles - ditto! When dh goes to work abroad (in IT) it's the only time gets to leave the house!

Rebeccaj · 24/02/2010 10:42

I used to work with someone whose job title was "Evangelist".... (he worked for Microsoft though, not Jesus...)

I know exactly what DH does, but then I used to do something similar-ish, and I find it interesting! And yes, I was a strategy consultant too...

EcoLady · 24/02/2010 10:52

I work with my DH! We met at work - he interviewed me for a job. We worked together for 6 months before he asked me out.

13 years later, we are still in the same department, although different teams. We work on different aspects of environmental regulation. No-one outside our immediate colleagues understands what we do, so it's nice to be able to let off steam at the end of the day with someone who understands the stresses and acronyms.

bibbitybobbityhat · 24/02/2010 11:01

My dh is freelance and works for lots of different companies. I have no idea where he is today, for instance, he could be in Waterloo, Chiswick or Feltham. He could be due home at 6pm, 9pm or after midnight. I'll check later!

He goes away a lot too and I have started to forget where he is going . Not long ago I was cheerfully telling people he was in Manchester for a few days when infact he was in Dublin.

babyOcho · 24/02/2010 11:05

DP and I both work in 'computers' - I know what he does, and he has no idea what I do!

AmazingBouncingFerret · 24/02/2010 11:14

My DH's job title changes so often its hard to keep up. He is an IT Consultant. The company he works for "sells" him off to other companies so they can use his expertise.
He's worked for the MoD once, I know that for sure because we all had to have a background check because he would be seeing classified info.
Erm he did mention a few weeks ago something about developing the software for the new jobcentre search for a job thingy.
He wears a suit everyday, and has one of those things in his ear for conference calls. He works away alot. And he also works from home alot, I havent figured out which one I prefer!
My BIL works for the same company, he is a project manager, I have no idea what that means. When we get together its like BIL and DH are talking in a foreign language. Network infrastructure blah blah exchange servers blah office sharepoint bleh. When he tries to talk to me about it, it all goes in one ear and out of the other with me nodding along and going all glassy eyed.

slug · 24/02/2010 11:18

DH is a scientist. I'm allowed not to understand what he does, though I know it involves wearing a labcoat and lots of eyerolling at medics.

However, DH complains it was a lot easier to tell people what I did when I was a teacher. Now I've moved over to the dark side (IT) he just mutters something about computers and universities and hopes everyone else is as confused as he is.

GoldenSnitch · 24/02/2010 12:06

Anyone else find it strangely arousing when they get a call from work and start talking goobledy-IT-gook and sound all mysterious and clever though?

Please say it's not just me

GothDetective · 24/02/2010 12:10

My DH is a Lead Systems Analyst, or at least he was in his last job and appears to do the same sort of stuff in this job. sOME SORT OF ENGINEER.

lolapoppins · 24/02/2010 12:48

Goldensnitch - sorry, I just find I.T talk a bit irritating!

Poor dh has little other in his life than ds, work and online star trek, so I have to pre warn him not to spend all evening banging on about I.T when we actually see other humans. You can see thier eyes glazing over. Well, I can, dh can't.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 24/02/2010 12:58

LOL Snitchy might just be you there! I do fancy him a tiny bit more when he is in a nice fitted suit though.
I remember closing up shop one night and DH came up into the office with me whilst I counted the floats and cashed up the takings. He said he found it a turn on the watch me speedily count the change. I just looked at him like this

sugartits · 24/02/2010 13:04

I know all the details of DH's job, who his Clients are, who's who in the office etc etc. It's interesting for about 30 seconds - sometimes I want to scream 'you're boring me'. However I know he loves the fact that he can properly talk about work with me and there have been many many times when I've really helped him. So I suck it up.

I have been known to ask him if we can change the subject and he will, but looks a bit hurt. Small price to pay for a happy marriage tbh.

GoldenSnitch · 24/02/2010 13:15

OK, I'm a freak - but at least it keeps me lusting after him ;)

And it makes being woken at 3am cause someone needs a password reset a little less annoying!

This thread actually prompted me to ask him again what he does last night and after the usual "It's Technical" explanation, he did actually try to tell me. Apparently, he installs software on the 4? mainframes they have and then tweaks it and updates it to keep it working.

He bored me with it and now I'm boring you

Original poster
Shodan · 24/02/2010 14:29

Dh worked on an MoD project at one time, AmazingBouncingFerret.

It was before he met me, which was probably just as well because he might not have passed the security check! I assume this because I once applied to join MI6 (or 5, I can't remember which) and after yards and yards of paperwork and asking relatives personal questions they turned me down.

I wish he had one of those in-ear thingies for calls though. He has a v old mobile which constantly causes him to bang it on the arm of the sofa and swear a lot. I'm afarid, GoldenSnitch, that I don't find him being on a work call in the least bit sexy. I mean, how can you take a man seriously when he says things like 'Yeah we need to interface on the CGV flick-flack and upgrade the RISVIC oombam. Moving forward, we must (buggery buggery bloody phone it's a piece of crap bang bang bang)coagulate the trimthin to GYTF and send the Drisdip off to BlahDept'. Or words to that effect, anyway.

OP posts:
DrNortherner · 24/02/2010 14:31

Ah, see my dh is a chef, therefore I know exactly what he does.

He though, has no idea what I do......

SkaterGrrrrl · 24/02/2010 15:08

This thread just made me open DH's latest email and check his job title at the bottom.

But I can explain what he does.

SerenityNowakaBleh · 24/02/2010 15:37

I would like to be in a job that's very self-explanatory, but when asked what I do, it takes about 10 minutes to explain. I have some LOVELY friends who think my job is super interesting, but they think I'm in a different field. And I don't know how to tell them that they're wrong.