parenting pet peeves...

[bubbleymummy]

I know I'm going to get flamed for this but I just don't care - I have to vent somewhere after a weekend of smiling and nodding and keeping my mouth shut!

Here is a list of 'parenting' traits that I absolutely hate!

Giving babies sugar - dessert/pudding/biscuits/cake - they do not need it - they are not missing anything and they are the reason that your child is already overweight!

Shovelling food into tiny babies, scooping it up and shoving it back in when the baby's tongue pushes it out while discussing the baby's excema, constipation, tummy upsets etc

Giving toddlers fizzy drinks such as Coke and letting them run madly around before screaming at them and complaining about how badly behaved they are.

Giving children calpol because it's been a 'long day' or because they have a slight sniffle or even a hint of a temperature or just because 'they like the taste'!.

controlled crying / cry it out - I hate this at any stage but I DESPISE it in children under 6 months. I don't care if your child has been sleeping through since 5 weeks - it is bloody cruel!

and breathe....

Ok feel free to flame me or alternatively add your own pet peeves!

Disclaimer : I by no means consider myself to be a perfect parent and I could fill several threads with my own parenting flaws.

Why is their no edit on here? My grammar is awful in that post...sleep deprived!

People who let their children snatch toys without reprimand or say that he doesn't have to share because it's his toy, why should he? (Yes, I have met one like this, worse still the parent was family).

People who let their children run around in adult-orientated restaurants.

re the dummies - well i don't see the parents who only use them at night/appropriately do i? i only see the ones who plug the babies mouths constantly! the worst offender beig katei price - i have never seen her dd who i reckon must be about 2.5 now without a dummy jammed in her mouth!

furthermore i object to the dummy being personified - my sister was an offender at this, her ds had 'bo' without which he was an anxious wreck. infact 'bo might have been his first word! grrrr

moving on agree with helen not just smacking but threatening punsihments which are not carried out. i used to cringe listening to a colleague of mine (who was a childcare professional) shout at her 11 year old ds 'thats 2 hours you've lost on the ds, now its 4, now its a whole weekend!!!' and know it would never happen and that child was a brat.

re sweet - i will more than likely do what my parents did. 3 sweets after dinner or what my bf does with her dds - only choc/sweets on fridays - which seems to work v well and i never see her dds gorging themselves on that day even though they are allowed iyswim (i only have 2 fillings and i'm 30)

Agree sungirltan re dummies, we don't see them being used as a sleep aid up until the age of 6 months and at no other time. We see them being jammed in babies mouths at the merest hint of a cry rather thsn being bothered to see whats' really wrong. I've seen babies screaming and thrashing about and having a dummy literally being forced on them whilst they turn their heads in protest .

Also newborns leaving hospital with a dummy plugged in because of "comfort sucking" they're trying to establish a milk supply not "comfort sucking".

Ditto toddlers with them in, horrible, horrible, horrible. And the worst fallling out of a babies mouth and then being licked by the parent and shoved back in, ugh.

I hate most of the things listed!

To save time I'll just say my pet parenting peeve is...other parents.

I've suprised myself with the sheer breadth of my judgy pants this morning!

i'm just warning up my judgey pants for later. its ta night so i have a whole evening ahead of uninterrupted twiddling about on the net while watching my choice of tv without dh saying 'right then what you ranting about now?' and trying to muscle in.

minx - dummies with newborns just make me sad. at least wait and see if you need one.

lifeas3plus1.......i must indeed 'alright my burd!'

DD2 had a dummy. I hated myself, even while I was doing it to preserve my nipples and sanity. She ended up in speech therapy. Happily, her talking got sorted out (and how!) and her teeth are fine, but I refused to let DS have one.

I let DS have a little bit of sugary something if we are all sitting round the table having a pudding (and no, I am not about to tell teens and grown-ups that they will have to go without) - the older ones know that if they want a biscuit or piece of chocolate it must be after a meal, not as a snack. But outside the home, I can't stop them eating all manner of crap if they choose.

I am a bit militant about the milk/water thing with DS, and encourage DDs to use straws even now they're much older (recommended by my dentist), although not when drinking cider .

RedBinDippers - you do have to worry about tooth decay in milk teeth, because if a child has bad decay in their milk teeth, then the adult teeth can already be decayed when they grow in - so no, I'm afraid you can't ignore their teeth until they have adult ones.

I used a dummy with all three of mine - it preserved the odd shred of my sanity (that which wasn't destroyed by PND). And our dses had their own words for the dummies - which isn't personifying them, it is just the child's own label for the item.

Hmmm, agree with most BUT

sweets, dont see the harm is giving them sugar once in a while. My pet peeve is people who only feed their kids dried fruit bars. FFS whats wriong with the occaisonal choc digestive???

controlled crying , agree ref sdmall babies, but sometimes you have no other choice, so not sure on that

agree on the calpol, it amazes me how much many people (even the eco green organic ones) consume, shocking, doesnt even make them sleep anyway

My pet peeeve is people that ASSUME their kids are cute and look around indulgently expecting a smile. they're not, they are loud annoying snotty little things at times (bar mine)

and I hate bill and teds, just do, sorry

I hate parents who don't pull their DC's up for doing something wrong. DS2 (4 years) still has a scar on his cheek when a friends then 5 year old bit him when he was newborn - the only thing she said was "ah, bless, he's trying to kiss him"

I'm another that doesn't like piercings on babies and dummies.

I give my dc's chocolate and sweets - I've definitly seen other children (who are not allowed any of these things) go mad for sweets as soon as they have pocket money of their own.

People who say 'I know my baby' or 'you know your baby' when they decide to ignore good medical research.

yes, people do (obviously) know their babies and therefore can make an individualised decision when approaching things that need to be decided - but is knowing your baby more important/useful than knowing that there are risk factors for certain things?

Am not going to mention any particular 'things' cos I don't actually give a shit what other people do, I just hate the 'I know my baby' thing.

Sugar is sugar is sugar. The Fructose found in fruit is possibly MORE likely to lead to obestity than Sucrose that you put in your tea. Lots of processed food contains high levels of Fructose these days.

The reason it's better to give a child fruit rather than processed snacks containing exactly the same amount of sugar is that the fruit also contains significant amounts of other stuff.

I hate the naughty step. I realise some people have had good "results" from it and that's why they do it. But I dont feel the need to do it myself. My children are not naughty. They are boisterous. Trying to help. Tired. Bored. Overstimulated. Etc etc.

I particularly hate it when 18 month olders are put on it. And I hate that it has become so popular for no apparent reason apart from Jo Frost the supernanny, unless there's something I've missed. I also hate seeing a child be put on there with no warning. If its to be used, give a warning, then follow through the threat if they haven't "corrected" their "behaviour". But dont just use it to vent your anger at what they have just done. They wont learn from that.

Speaking of false threats, I hate that too. What you says goes. If it doesn't, dont say it. You are better off appearing to be slightly soft or ignoring something that possibly shouldn't be igored than saying "if you don't eat that piece of gammon then you wont get pudding then give them pudding whilst the evil piece of gammon grins at you from their discarded plate uneaten.

Which leads me to another hate, that of not letting children manage their own appetites. Not necessarily what food is on their plate in terms of quality, but making them finish a plate they dont want or need or telling them they "can't be hungry" because breakfast was 2 hours ago.

2 and 3 year olds with dummies in constantly, if they whinge dummy gets plugged in, every whimper shove dummy in their mouth

newborns with dummies in half as big as their heads or worst of all those novelty dummies

I also hate the spoon feed scrap it off their face shovel it in even if the baby is clearly spitting in back out.

Bottles propped up in prams on blankets or jackets

"Do you want a smacked bum?"

cbeebies blaring in the background 24/7 and the parents shouting over it

Bring so smug you weaned your child at 8 weeks as they were so advanced and hungry and milk wasn't enough for them

Saying your child is potty trained at 18 months whilst they pee on the floor, you have taken their nappy off they are not potty trained FFS.

People that smoke around children

And swear at their children

porca - phill and teds - the inline double buggies?

Oh yeah that's another one - people who go on about how their child is potty trained and then you see the telltale purple pull-up sticking up over the back of their trousers.

They are not potty trained. They are potty training.

sungirltan, Yes we do indeed live in the same place.

I hate Phill and Teds Prams as well.

and parents who start something with their child not having researched it first.

I know someone who claimed she was doing Controlled Crying with her 8 month old child when in fact she was just putting him to bed, closing the door and leaving him to cry for as long as it took for him to cry himself to sleep. It took a good few people and effort to explain the difference between Controlled Crying and Crying it out.

Parents who don't set boundaries for childen over 2yrs and rely purely on distraction. If you wont tell your child "NO!" when he smacks mine in the face then I bloody well will!

Parents who overlook really bad behaviour from their kids all day, then scream at them for knocking over their drink accidentally at dinner or mislaying their shoes.

Parents who grab toddlers roughly by the arm and drag them along because they're cross or in a hurry.

Parents who have loud, self conciously 'cute' conversations with their children in public, hoping everyone is listening.

Parents who let their kids scream and shout in restaurants and do nothing about it.

Parents who obsess over, or brag about, their child's eating habits. The sugar-is-poison mob are the worst offenders, but the smugarsed "MY child eats everything, we don't tolerate fussy eaters in this house!" lot are a close second. I am so glad that DD and her friends are plenty old enough to feed themselves now.

Also agree with most of what sweetkitty said. As a mum to an older DD now, I would also like to add mothers who don't deal with puberty issues properly and practically, like the mum of a girl at gymnastics who doesn't BELIEEEEEEVE in a 13-year-old shaving her legs, with the result that said girl is bullied at school and does gym in thick leggings when the others are in leos and shorts. Another one is a bit obsessed with her (undeveloped) 12yo wearing a bra, which mortifies the girl herself.
Actually, these can all be filed under "gymnastic mums". They are a special breed, myself probably included.

Agreed with the posters who dislike children being given dummies to shut them up while out and about - my DS had a dummy when he was young (though not the first few weeks) for sleeping and to help him calm down if he hurt himself. He still sleeps with a dummy (under 2) but doesn't have it during the day, and we're winding that down now.

I hate seeing young children with their ears pierced. For pity's sake, at the very least wait until your child is physically old enough to ask for it done her/himself! My mum had a blanket ban on it until we were ten to make sure we were serious. Brilliant.

People who smoke around their children. It just isn't necessary, and there is so much help for people to quit. Wrong on every level.

People who dress their children up like little dolls or (alternatively) like tarts. Children are people too, and deserve not to be suited up in inappropriateclothing or things which fill your doll-fantasty. (I'm talking about the people who put small children in truly bad clothing, by the way, not girls who simply look rather adorable!)

People who shout and scream at their children all the time, instead of adapting their routine so that they aren't dragging young boys and girls around town so that they're bored out of their minds with no purpose other than for the mother to buy a new pair of skinny jeans.

People who let their children run riot around department stores, then complain to the staff if their children injure themselves because of said neglect.

People who whip out a potty in the food department and let their child do a wee on it in front of everyone - if the child can't hold it in long enough to get to a loo, they aren't ready! (yes, I have seen this!)

People who are generally inconsistent in their parenting techniques. (ie. will shout at a child for misbehaving only when other people will notice that they are being bad parents otherwise, or when it directly impacts them.)

TBH, the people who hit, neglect or otherwise abuse their children don't particularly count as 'parents' in my book. Being a parent implies you actually look after your child, not just concieve, carry and deliver it. The children of those people I just feel desperately sorry for.

I would also like to give a special mention to parents who let their kids wander off, don't even notice, then look at anyone who rescues them/ makes sure they're all right as if they're a child abuser.

mother in laws who say when mine were small there was 1 meal served in this household if they didnt like it they starved(complete selective memory according to my DH who is one of the fussiest eaters going and is still alive not dying from starvation)she say sthis every time she comes in kitchen and sees me preparing a seperate meal for one of my DCs.

Also the sugar is poison brigade my DCS have always had sweets and fizzy drinks(once or twice a week not every day) and all have perfect teeth no decay we go to dentist every 6 months(were just there last tuesday) never any problems.

Dummies are bad brigade _ yes can see point if constantly in mouth and cannot stand to see kids of ages 3 to 4 with them but when they are little to go to sleep at night or calm when upset cannot see the problem.

How come the NCT Brigade who are all right on supporters of above and also the 'distraction is better than reprimand' techniques have the kids with the most appalling behaviour as witnessed first hand in one of their toddler groups and never went back with my dummy sucking, sugar eating son. What do they consider is the cause of their DC's bad behaviour?

Tottwriter - the mums who are shopping for new skinny jeans are beyond the pale not only for dragging their poor bored children round with them, but for having the sheer nerve to fit into skinny jeans in the first place!!!