Porn

[Bubbles01]

Am I being unreasonable for getting upset that my husband keeps looking at porn?

I totally aggree with you Malificence....I have 3 daughters and it worries me the future for them.My husband doesnt look at it and I wouldnt be happy if he did,thats just my opinion.People can do what they like in their own homes as long as it doesnt hurt me and my children then its their own choice as it is my choice not to watch such crap.
I absolutely hate porn and think it is damaging to many people again my own personal opinion but if a friend of mine watched it with her hubby I wouldnt not be her friend because of this as it doesnt effect me.

Can we please stop using the word 'analogy'
in a thread about porn

..how this thread has moved on since I've been away...carp fishing and porn ..if I caught my DH wanking to carp fishing I would be equally appalled ...if not slightly more disgusted

now what was that deeeee-lightful Japanese eel porn that some fucking weirdo was posting about the other week ?.....

the one that included RL pictures of fish being forced into orifices and luvverly strangulation shots...

now that puts carp-fishing in the shade don't it ?

It's a grim industry, which does harm the participants. As for the men watching it, I don't tend to think it's unhealthy as long it's just an occasional thing and not a serious habit. The internet is a huge problem in that it makes it so available, even to teenagers and normalises it, so you get teenage boys trying to get their girlfriends to do porno stuff. Also the really sick, extreme stuff is all out there. All this alongside the perpetual culture of girls in bikinis with fake breasts being used to sell everything.

Incidentally I read about an experiment where one group of male students watched sport and another watched (can't remember if it was porn or just something with lots of scantily clad women). Afterwards, the second group rated their own girlfriends as less attractive.

PS Carp fishing???

CM apparently wives are to treat porn as any other recreational pastime or hobby...yeaahhhh

Oh FGS dittany you are just being silly now. Those women do not need you to defend them. As we have said, some of them may be in porn for the wrong reasons, but they are not physically being raped/forced, they still make that choice. Yes it is sad that they feel they need to make that choice, but they still do. I'm not saying it's right, but most men are not going to think about it - if they were actually full on confronted with a seedy reality or rape, I'm sure that all of our husbands would see it very differently! You cannot keep saying that anybody who watches porn is a horrific human being!

And as I said earlier, I was abused when I was younger, and I don't find it offensive...and I would be mortified and angry if somebody tried to tell me that I shouldn't have rough sex with my husband because it's wrong for him to do it. I know that not all women are doing it under the right circumstances, but that is a separate issue. Stop trying to make every man who watches porn out to be a monster! And it's wrong of you to say that anybody who watches porn/allows their husband to lacks decency and empathy!

And it's really offensive that you keep calling porn abuse!!

Wouldn't it make more sense for people to put their energy into improving porn (eg. no coercion, forced protection etc)? Rather than berating people who like to view it.

Surely then anyone concerned for the girls safety would no longer have concerns.

FFS - the original poster is not being unreasonable.
Porn has only become soooo completey acceptable/fashionable in the last 10 -15 years.at one time women would argue that page 3 was degrading - i.e the 1970's.Now it seems anything goes.
Look at the OBJECT website for more info and decent discussion on the suffering of the women suffering in the making if porn - not much 'empowerment'going on in the industry after all.

We are being fed a load of misogynistic crap - god help our daughters in 15 years time- unless we turn the tide now.
Bugger onlycame on to look for a cottage now feeling angry and out raged.

Mrs Montague - I feel these women do need people to defend them - not all - I'm sure MANY of them madea happy career choice to go into porn -maeloads of cash and would be happy for their daughters to do the same.???

But for the majority they would rather be doing summat else warmer and with better pay and conditions.

Dittany is not being silly - that's a glib and patronising response.

Please Mrs M and other doubters take the time to look at the lives of sex workers by going to Object.com.

2old4this

very funny

shazz How many times must I say, I don't disagree that the porn industry has a very dark side, and it is a shame for the women who are so unhappy.

But it is unreasonable to say that men are getting off on abuse! It's not clear cut like that, men are not sitting down and getting off on somebody being raped. The 'films' are made to be appealing to men, and so they appeal!

I am not disputing that it is a dark industry, but I do think it is very offensive to say that men get off on 'watching people get abused', it makes it sound as though the men in question are all sinister and peverted! Most men just don't think about it in detail, and why would they? Right or wrong. But so many of you women are implying that men are nasty creatures who like to see women abused.

It's easy to put all men into a box labelled abusers, in the same way some men will put all women into a box labelled manipulative. Neither are true, but the grey areas make it so much harder to judge.

Like I said before, all the venom and energy poured into this argument could be better directed. Campaign for safer porn rather than no porn. Porn when made by responsible, conscientous adults harms no one. When everyone involved consents there is no harm done.

Also, wrt to the porn industry, porn trends have changed from "produced" porn to pron filmed with a webcam by people who have chosen to do so.

Like it or not some people like the idea of being watched having sex.

I would say a minority of men are abusers, it is ridiculous to suggest that every man who watches porn is one. That would make all of your Dads, Brothers, Sons abusers too...and you would never say that.

I agree LadyEros, if it was made safer and more regulated, it would be better for everyone. Men could still be men, whereas the women in the porn would be treated far better.
I also agree that some people DO like being watched, as much as many of you will try and dispute that fact, some women will just see it as an easy way to make money. Outrageous as that may be to you.

By absinthe Tue 23-Feb-10 21:35:28
I can absolutely swear that half the people on these threads who are 100% confident of the fact than their dh does not look at porn are COMPLETELY WRONG AND DELUDED. I would say the same thing to almost anyone who cared to ask in RL

What is so hard about comprehending that some men, like my DH, are capable of understanding what most women understand about hardcore porn (that it is degrading - not just to those in it, but to those who watch it - misogynistic etc etc) and therefore do not watch it. And no, my husband isn't fucking Debbie from accounts, or anyone other than me. He just doesn't find double anal penetration remotely titilating.

I think it shows a strangely infantisiling attitude to men to think that the poor little darlings are just cocks on legs who can't help themselves, frankly.

"Men could still be men"

Jesus wept. Can you hear yourselves, some of you?

EggyAllenPoe

Thankyou - I try.......I put in my two pennyworth much earlier in this thread and jusy thought I'd try and lighten proceedings.

MrsM, every single time you post, you come out with a further ridiculous comment

you are waaaay out of your depth on this thread, seriously

although I defend your right to post wherever you like, of course < disclaimer >

I agree totally GMama, absinthe is the deluded one.

My DH hasn't got strong views about the "morality" of porn or the people who do enjoy it , he just finds it quite grim and doesn't find it appealing in any way.

I am 100% certain that my DH is not a consumer of porn, I find pathetic and insulting that women would suggest I am deluded or that my DH is a lier, or that he is not "normal" for not salivating over shaved, fake breasted porn stars, he likes real sex and of course he likes looking at attractive real women, just not the ridiculous pornified versions of them.

Porn is about as far away from real sex as farmville is to real farming!

Malificence Your DH may not watch porn, I know a few men who don't. They are the minority though.

Also most men aren't "salivating over shaved, fake breasted porn stars", as a lot of porn nowadays is actually less produced. With more "real" women, usually using a webcam.

Also, the no real women in porn argument is a whole new thread. They are still real and anyone who will argue that they are less than another woman just because of where they work, that's not a healthy view.

LADYEROS I agree that people should put their energy into improving porn.All the ones I've seen have had shocking dialogue and terrible acting.There's two improvements right there