To think12 is too young to go shopping with friends?

[diddl]

And no adults at all.
About an hours bus ride into the city.

Would be buying anything for the sake of it clothes.

Depends on the young person, but I would have thought most 12 year olds could confidently manage a bus ride and shopping, in a group, with mobile phone to contact if need be.

Mine were doing this kind of thing by 12

Though yes, you're right, they will buy utter crap

My boys did at that age. Were fine.

DD was too. Don't see a problem with it tbh. I did prior to her being 12! When she was still at primary, I wouldn't even entertain the idea that she would be going anywhere on her own!

I don't think there's any harm in it tbh. My dd1 does this from time to time with her friends. I think it helps her bond with her peers and gives her a sense of independence. She also learns the value of money as she can't afford to buy everything she sees/wants.

These trips provide valuable skills in the form of budgeting, timetable reading and socialising skills, to boot imo.

YABU. 12 is fine for a bus ride and shopping in town.

She will come home having spent all the money on Macdonalds and shit from Caires Accessories that she needed but that's about the worst of it I reckon.

If she already knows the city well then not too young, no. My 12-year-old and her friends often go into town shopping together though it is a 15-min walk, not an hour bus ride. However, I would allow her to take the train to the nearest city now (hour and 15 min journey) with a couple of sensible friends if the occasion arose as she has been often enough with me to know her way around.

I don't let dd2 go at 12. She is allowed to go with her sister though (now 15). DD1 went for the first time with her friends, aged 13 iirc.

She'll be fine.

You're going to have to let her go out unaccompanied at some point, and an afternoon shopping trip with a gaggle of mates is hardly a tequila drinking contest at the local nightclub.

Pretty normal for secondary school kids I would have thought.

Agree it's normal. At this age I was also allowing dd to take her 9yo brother in lieu of a friend.

Most of the year 6 and 7 are going shopping, so that would be 10-12 year olds.

my dd usually buys crap, but she likes it and she has brought home odd size wellies

she gets the bus to town.

By 11/12 I was was wondering the streets of the west end and getting the bus back to Peckam on my own.

I guess it needs more thought.

She´s never been there alone but would be with someone who has.

Allow I´m not convinced that this girl is especially sensible tbh.

Allow=although

I used to go into town on the bus from 11/12, albeit only a 20min bus ride - didn't have enough money to buy too much crap. Can't see it's a problem.

diddl - does your dd have the use of a mobile phone? Would it put your mind at reat if she took it with her so that you can phone her to make yourself at ease?

although it is better to text really much more descreat for your dd I am sure your dd will understand your worries and let you text

Daughter doesn´t really know her way around so would be relying on friend to know where to go.

As long you have instructed them in:-

The correct use of, and polite behaviour on, public transport

Not blaring out crap too loud music on their mobiles

Not swearing loudly in front of me

Not discussing sexual acts that I have never thought of in a loud voice especially if you partook of them on the climbing frame in my local park or on the bench where I sat this morning!

Accepting they are not the centre of the
Universe to anyone other than their
parents/family

I live near a FE college and many of the YP are lost souls when they start so I do think a couple of trips on the bus/train with parents/elders is in order. Otherwise they get on and freeze if the bus isn't empty and the might have to sit next to a stranger, an older person, a parent with a child.

I sound as though I hate YP but truly I like many of them but feel they must be socialised before being let loose on an unsuspecting public!!

I realise OP's child is just 12 so I'm sure much of this doesn't apply. I just think that we have lost the village way of child-rearing, in which any misdemeanours were known by parents before the children got home and when it was possible to remonstrate with children without being accused of assault.

Yes, phone no problem.

Give her a phone so she can call you if she gets lost. If you don't give her little bits of freedom like this then she'll never get the chance to learn to be more sensible.

I think it depends on what you feel comfortable with.
With my little sister (now 13), we would take her and her friends to the shops and go in different directions, set a time to meet up after an hour or so, then as we felt she and her friends knew the area and knew how to keep themselves safe etc we let her go with her friends on her own.

It´s not as if she has no freedom.

She takes herself off to friends locally, swimming,riding, school everyday.

Just seems a big step.

I think as long as I have an idea when coming home.

Just have visions of her wandering around aimlessly for hours!

No, not too young. ABout right.

The youngsters round here go away on the bus towards the Bright City Lights when aged 12.

Yes Nataliejayne I guess that´s more what I was thinking for the first time.

It would be totally reasonable of you to get her to phone when she gets there and give her a time to come home.

What would be the problem though with her wandering around aimlessly? Presumably in a busy town centre in the middle of the day?